


Red With Envy

by chillax



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Eventual Relationships, Explicit Language, F/M, Feelings, Homophobia, I'm Sorry, Jealousy, Light BDSM, M/M, Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Smut, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-02-28 21:54:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 44,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13280616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chillax/pseuds/chillax
Summary: In which Eddie and Richie both have feelings for each other but don't want to admit it. The Losers throw a birthday party for Richie and it sets a lot of things in motion.





	1. Chapter 1

“All I have for alcohol is a bottle of cheap beer that I stole from my mom’s stash.” Richie thumbed through a bin of magazines at the front checkout of the Derry Corner Store. “It’s nasty.” He and Bev had skipped their first two periods spent the morning walking around Derry talking about Richie’s birthday. He was turning eighteen and kept insisting that he didn’t want a party because it would be too much effort. “We can all just hang out at Bill’s and watch movies or something, that’s really all I need to have a good birthday.”

Bev looked at him in disbelief. Richie had always had a sort of indifference regarding his birthday. “Are you sure?” While Richie may not like his birthday very much, one thing Bev knew for sure that Richie did like was parties. He would always say how he would never miss an opportunity to attend a good high school party, because as he put it ever so eloquently: “One day you’re sitting in high school awaiting a sick party, looking at the clock, counting the seconds, and then you blink and you’re thirty, sitting at a dinner party, sipping red wine, and talking about books and shit.” While Richie was much more of a party-goer than the rest of the Losers, he did have a point. You only get so long to attend high school parties. Specifically, you only get as long as you’re in high school. And the Losers were in their senior year. So the clock was ticking. And due to these factors, Bev found it increasingly hard to believe that Richie would decline having a party in his honour.

"Very sure." 

“So why is it that you hate birthdays so much, Rich?”

“I guess I just don’t see the point in them. It’s just another day. A day where you were pumped out of a woman’s bloody vagina, screaming and crying, but just a day, nevertheless. Plus, my family never put any consideration into celebrating it, so why should I?”

“That’s…well… first of all, gross, Richie, but also very sad. You really never feel like you want to do anything special for your birthday? Not ever?”

“It’s really just a waste of effort, Bev. Don’t worry about it.” Richie picked a package of wintergreen chewing gum off of the display and placed it on the countertop. The truth was, that Richie _had_ always kind of wanted a fun birthday party. Throughout his childhood, he had been repeatedly let down by his parents utter lack of care to give Richie a good birthday. His friends always had cool birthday parties that their parents would throw them. They always had cake, usually something fun like pizza or tacos, and they always got awesome presents. Even Eddie’s mom would set up a parties for him, even though he wasn’t allowed to invite any friends. But at least his mom cared enough to acknowledge it. And she would always get him presents. But Richie always knew that it wasn’t because of his parents lack of money that they never got him anything. He once received a polo shirt from his mom that was three sizes too small. Richie had never worn a polo shirt in his life, and they must have forgotten that he wasn’t six. His parents just didn’t care enough to actually put the effort into getting something that Richie would actually like. So eventually, he gave up and stopped expecting anything.

“Alright… we’ll all just hang out, then. I can see if my aunt is okay with all of us coming over to my place. We just got a new VHS player, too, so bring a good movie for us to watch.”

Richie had scored a sweet job at the video rental place in Derry. It was a pretty close walk from his house, and he was allowed to rent the movies overnight for free as long as he was sure to bring them back the next day. The store was owned by a really cool movie enthusiast that Richie got along with well. He really loved the job, so he made sure to be on time as often as he physically could. Not to mention that his boss was pretty lenient about it, too, which worked out to Richie’s benefit.

“Sounds awesome, thanks, Beverly.”

“Don’t sweat it, Rich. I might even be able to convince my aunt to buy some alcohol for us, too.” Beverly winked at Richie and he held up his hand for a high five. Bev packed a mean punch when it came to high fives, but Richie mainly went for them so often because he was proud of her. She was a strong girl, in many ways, and Richie admired her for it.

Bev asked the man behind the counter for a package of Marlboros and slid her ID and a five dollar bill onto the counter. It was just a learner’s permit but it stated that she was eighteen and allowed her to buy cigarettes so she always kept it on her.

“Bev, you don’t have to buy my gum.”

“Consider it a birthday present.”

“My birthday’s not until tomorrow.”

Bev shrugged and retrieved her ID and cigarettes from the counter. Richie slid the package of gum into his pocket. The bell on the door jingled as they walked out.

“Just think, Bev, I’ll probably end up bumming half of that package off of you, anyways.”

“Really Richie, it’s fine, it was only like a dollar.”

The two of them sat down on one of the concrete parking blocks outside of the store. Bev opened the package and instinctively handed a cigarette to Richie. He plucked it out of Bev’s hand and kissed her cheek as a thank you gesture. He lit the cigarette with a small Zippo that he fished out of his jacket’s breast pocket. It was a gift that he received from Bill on his sixteenth birthday. The lighter was made of brushed metal and had “Trashmouth Tozier” engraved on the side in a typewriter-style font. Richie had lost what felt like millions of lighters before Bill gave him this one, and he always kept it in the same pocket, careful not to misplace it.

He took a long drag from the cigarette and flipped the lighter around between his fingers. Richie was constantly fidgeting. Whether it was with something he was holding, or the loose threads from his jeans, or bouncing his leg. He was constantly moving. Even when he slept he moved constantly. The other Loser’s sometimes joked that if he was forced to stay completely still he might spontaneously combust.

He flicked the lighter on and flicked the cap back over it, extinguishing the flame. He did this repeatedly while Bev leaned back against the white painted bricks of the store. She had lit her own cigarette and closed her eyes. She thought briefly about Richie’s birthday and the party that they were planning at Bev’s house. Her aunt was going to be out of town for the weekend and they invited half of the seniors at Derry High School. The good half.

Since the event that transpired underneath Derry when they were thirteen, lots had changed. The group’s memories of that time had significantly deteriorated, almost to the point that they hardly remembered it at all. It only came in small, unintelligible fragments, now. Mostly in dreams, where the Losers would wake up scared, but they couldn’t pinpoint why. And even though Beverly was dating Ben, the two hadn’t done anything more than kiss. This confused her, because she would often have dreams about losing her virginity, not to Ben, but to six different faces that she couldn’t quite make out. This troubled her until she stopped having the dream and forgot about it entirely.

The Loser’s experience at school had changed quite a lot, too. They weren’t popular by any means, but they weren’t bullied anymore. The day that they went face to face with It, Henry Bowers was retrieved from the sewers, hysterical. He confessed to the murders of Betty Ripsom, Patrick Hockstetter, Eddie Corcoran, and George Denbrough and was sentenced to life at Juniper Hill Asylum. The police had considered the case to be closed, and stopped investigating the missing children.

Without Bowers to worry about, the group had an okay time at school. They had a good portion of people that liked them. A lot of people found Richie to be hilarious and respected the Losers out of that factor alone. That, and puberty had done the group a lot of favours. Another portion of people really didn’t like them, and that included Greta Keene and her group of snobby friends. They still hated Beverly, and she made a point to make sure that they were not invited to Richie’s birthday party.

Bev had carefully let everyone that she invited that the party know that it was to be kept a secret and should not be spoke about out loud under any circumstances, so as not to risk Richie hearing about it.

It seemed that everyone had managed to oblige, because Bev was sure that Richie still had no idea.

She stubbed the cigarette out on the concrete beside her and stood up. “Come on, I have a Bio test third period that I need to get to. Plus we should probably meet the guys for lunch so they don’t try to scold us about skipping.”

 

Bev and Richie walked up to the school just as the lunch bell rang. They slipped inside as people poured out of the building to get to their cars. Beverly slipped her arms around Ben as they walked up to their lockers. Ben jumped, but quickly realized it was Bev and gave her a quick kiss. Richie watched that transpire and wrapped his arms around Eddie. Eddie fought his way out of Richie’s grasp and spun around.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Well, Bev did that and got a kiss, so I thought I’d try my luck,” Richie giggled.

“Not in a million years. Plus, you stink. Are they teaching you how to smoke cigarettes in Math now? Or did you skip second period again?”

“Well,” Richie looked over at Bev. “That took about 2 seconds.” He looked back over to Eddie. “I’m even chewing gum, how can you still smell it?”

“It’s all over your clothes, Richie.”

“You’re like a goddamn bloodhound when it comes to cigarette smoke, Eds.”

Eddie shrugged as he slid his textbooks into the top shelf of his locker and pulled out his lunchbox. “It’s a gift.”

The group made their way to the cafeteria and took their place in the lineup, while Richie and Bill bickered.

“I’m not saying Poltergiest isn’t good, because it is, but The Shining is a masterpiece in the genre of horror.”

“P-P-Poltergeist is a masterpiece, too.”

“See, Big Bill, that’s where we disagree.”

The argument had stemmed from Richie complaining that an old woman had rented The Shining from the video store three days ago and still hadn’t returned it. Bill suggested to get Poltergeist instead because he said it was just as good and just as scary.

“Stan, can you back me up here?”

“I don’t like horror movies.”

“Mike?”

“Sorry, Richie, I’m not much of a fan either.”

“Bev? Come on, someone help me out here.”

“Bring whatever movie you want to, Richie. It doesn’t matter to us. It’s your birthday.”

Richie grumbled, sliding his lunch tray along as the lunch lady drops a spoonful on mashed potatoes on his plate. Richie loves arguments, and he loves winning arguments even more. To have no clear winner makes him visibly unsatisfied.

As the group received their lunches, Stan and Eddie walked beside them holding their lunches brought from home. Eddie would never dare to eat anything from the school cafeteria because, as he’s explained many times to the other Losers, he has no idea what goes on behind those swinging double doors. Richie teased him mercilessly when he first got the small red tin lunchbox, but Eddie paid no attention to him. He used to bring his lunches in brown paper bags, but Eddie’s mom would write “Eddie Bear” on the front, so in terms of Richie’s teasing, this was a step up. Eddie had accepted that Richie will find anything to tease him about, so it doesn’t bother him. Plus, Richie’s insults were usually pretty tame. They never actually offended anyone. Eddie knew Richie was a good person under all of the vulgar jokes and insults. The little bits and pieces of kindness that Richie had let slip led Eddie to this conclusion. And even though Eddie would never admit it because his ego was already a little too inflated, he found Richie to be pretty attractive.

He hadn’t really put much consideration into his sexuality before he started feeling a little strangely about Richie. He couldn’t put his finger on it until Bev described the concept of “butterflies in your stomach” to Eddie when she was talking about Ben. Eddie wasn’t sure what to do about it, so he never said anything about it to anyone.

They all sat down at their usual table in the middle of the cafeteria.

“Hey Beverly,” a girl said as she walked up to the table. “Super excited for the—”

Beverly gave her a look, eyeing Richie as he had his face down, shovelling potatoes into his mouth.

“the, uh, Bio test.”

“Yeah, uh, me too, I guess?”

The girl laughed nervously. “Uh, science rules. I’ll see you later, Beverly.”

Bill had his hand over his mouth so that he wouldn’t laugh.

Richie looked up. “Did she just say ‘science rules’? What the fuck?”

Bev forced a laugh. “I guess some people actually like biology.”

“There’s definitely some things to like about biology.”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Stan said, while Richie snickered. He went back to stuffing his mouth and Bev looked around at the other Losers, who looked at her warily.

She rubbed her temple, and went back to eating her lunch.

“Well,” Richie said after finishing his mashed potatoes. “Since I don’t work tomorrow, Chris is going to call me if that bitch brings back The Shining.”

Ben pushes his peas around on his plate. “Aren’t the rentals all for 2 weeks? She has another 11 days.”

“Yeah,” Stan joins. “It’s not like the movie’s overdue.”

“Are you guys purposely trying to crush my dreams on the day before my birthday?”

Eddie chimes in, while he removes the other half of his crustless ham sandwich from it’s bag. “It’s just a movie, Richie. Quit being so dramatic.”

“I actually don’t think that’s physically possible,” Stan remarked, which cracked the others up. Even Richie smiled.

 

On Saturday, the Losers met at Bev’s house around 7. Bev’s Aunt’s house was a quaint two story townhouse in the suburbs of Derry.The house opened to a small front entrance area with a bathroom and a short hallway that lead to the rest of the house. The rest of main floor was completely open, with a large kitchen and dining area on one side and a nicely sized living room on the other. The kitchen was raised by two steps above the other areas of the main floor, and included a modern style island. The living area included a comfortable combination of a couch, love seat, and a large chair with a small coffee table in the middle. A tall entertainment stand was set up against the wall, full of books and knick-knacks, and a stereo system. In the middle of the stand sat a decent sized television with a small compartment under it with two sliding glass doors. The compartment was full of cassettes and VHS tapes.

They had instructed people to show up at 8. Her aunt had bootlegged some alcohol for them, and they all split the cost of it. Mike, Eddie, and Stan took Mike’s truck to get snacks and soda. Bill, Ben, and Beverly set up a huge banner that read “Happy 18th Birthday, Richie!” and now sat on the floor of the living room in a circle, blowing up balloons.

Beverly tied a balloon she just blew up and tossed it over her shoulder. “So Bill, I saw that girl in English looking at you again. And a little birdie told me that she thinks you’re cute.”

Bill was mid-blow on a balloon and stopped dead in his tracks. “Wha-what? B-Bev, did you s-s-say something to her?”

“No, I swear I didn’t. One of her friends is in my Math class and she told me because she knows I’m friends with you. But you should totally talk to her, Bill. She’s gorgeous.”

The girl Beverly was referring to was named Alison and she did, in fact, have a huge crush on Bill. And Bill had definitely noticed her. She was very pretty, tall, and thinly framed, with long straight white blonde hair. She kept to herself, mostly, at least from what Bill had seen.

“I-I don’t know, B-Bev. I w-w-wouldn’t even know w-what to say.”

Ben laughed. “Maybe start with ‘Hi, I’m Bill Denbrough. Maybe we can go out sometime?’ You should have her with that.”

“Seriously Bill, you should see the way she looks at you.”

“Alright, alright,” Bill looked down bashfully. “M-Maybe I will talk to her.”

The front door opened and the others tumbled in with grocery bags.

 

Once the house had been fully decorated, the six of them collapsed in the living room to relax before the party started. The clock under the television read 7:46.

Bowls of chips covered the kitchen table and a giant bowl full of punch sat on the island with three tall stacks of red plastic cups beside it. The six of them had never even made punch before, much less alcoholic punch. When they were at the grocery store, Mike, Stan, and Eddie had picked up 5 cans of frozen juice mix, fruit punch flavoured. They also grabbed some lemons, because they had seen that in movies before. They had picked up the giant bowl and ladle from the Derry Dollarstore.

As far as adding in the alcohol, Bev just added a bottle and a half of vodka as she had decided to ‘wing it’. She tasted it and made a sour face before laughing and saying “perfect.”

Now they sat in the living room as the clock struck 8.

They waited, and it hit 8:01.

“What happens if no one shows up?” Stan asked, standing up.

“People will come, Stan. Everyone knows it’s Richie’s party, and people like him.”

“For some reason,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“You like him, too, don’t lie to yourself.”

Stan smiled. “Maybe a little bit. Don’t ever tell him I said that, though. I need to keep up my facade. Not to mention that he can hardly fit through the door with that ego.” He sat back down, red cup in hand.

Bev noticed the cup, and stood up next. “I could use a drink, too.” She poured herself some punch. “Anyone else want any while I’m up?”

Bill and Ben nodded, while Eddie shook his head. He sat in the corner of the couch with his feet tucked up. Bill sat on the same couch as Eddie, across from him. Ben sat in the chair, while Beverly had been curled up around him before she got up to retrieve drinks. Mike and Stan sat beside each other on the love seat.

“No thanks, Bev, I gotta drive some of these guys home.” Mike said as he stood up from the couch. “I did remember to get myself some Coke, though.” He opened the fridge and took out a can of Coca Cola.

The doorbell rang.

Mike cracked open the can as he walked over and opened the door. The quarterback for the Derry football team stood at the front of a group of football players and pretty girls.

Mike was on the football team as well, as if anyone expected him not to be. He made the team with not much consideration from the coach, because he has exceptional hand eye co-ordination and is in great physical shape. Immediately, he made some really good friends on the team. Mike is hard not to like. Kindness radiates from him. The group of football players immediately took him in as one of their own, while still respecting that Mike has other friends that he would never neglect. The Losers usually attend his games, unless they have something else going on. Stan comes to every game, rain or shine.

Mike greeted the quarterback, who’s name was Joel, with a fist bump and a half hug, before he ushered the rest of the group inside.

“You guys are the first ones here, so bear with us,” Mike said as he fist bumped some more of the guys from the team. The group entered the house carrying a giant keg. The girls filed in and walked up to the kitchen to join Beverly.

“Well, good thing getting parties started is our specialty,” Joel laughed. “What do you guys have for music?”

“My aunt has a pretty good sound system and a great taste in music.” Bev gestured to the entertainment stand. “Which reminds me, this is my aunt’s house, and she may be gone for the weekend, but she’s really cool so if you see anyone causing damage can you either stop them or let me know? I don’t really want this place to be destroyed.”

“Sure thing, Beverly,” Joel said, sitting down cross-legged in front of the stereo.

“Thanks, guys.”

The doorbell rang again while the football guys set up the keg.

Eddie sat on the couch slightly uncomfortably, watching the clock. Richie was instructed to come at nine. When he asked why it was going to be so late, Bev made something up about her aunt needing to take her to an appointment. Eddie watched as people poured into the house, and the clock struck nine. Eddie looked up to see if Richie was on time.

 

Richie walked down the wet sidewalk. It had been raining on and off all day. He was pretty bummed, because he never got a call from Chris, so he had to take Poltergeist with him instead. He had left his house around 8:30, knowing that it took about 30 min to walk to Bev’s. After the summer of 1988, Bev left to live with her aunt in Portland. She spend two years there while begged her aunt to move to Derry so that Bev could come back. Luckily, since her aunt worked from home, she wasn’t really tied down to any specific city and really didn’t have a problem with moving to Derry. First place Bev went when they arrived was Bill’s house. Bill immediately called the other Losers to come over because there was a surprise. Surprise was an understatement.

Richie avoided stepping in puddles as he watched the streetlight reflections in them pass by. He faintly heard music as he neared Bev’s house. _That can’t be coming from Bev’s_ he thought, _unless…_

He turned the corner and sure enough, cars filled the streets. The music got louder as he walked up to the house, and he twisted the doorknob.

He opened the door to hear lots of people and loud music. He stepped inside and a wide grin spread across his face as he saw the people and the banner. People quickly noticed him and stopped talking before everyone turned to face him.

“Happy Birthday, Richie!” they all shouted in unison.

He beamed, and held his hands over his chest. He looked over to see his friends sitting in the living room. They had expected him to be late, so they were somewhat surprised when he showed up at 9:02. They were all looking at him, smiling, motioning for him to come over.

He walked into the living room, and tucked the VHS tape of Poltergeist beside the TV. He vaulted over the back of the couch and sat between Eddie and Bill.

“Happy Birthday, Rich,” Bev said with a smile. She had resumed he place on Ben’s lap, with her arms around his shoulders and her legs draped over the side of the chair. Ben held her waist casually, with a red cup in his other hand. Ben and Beverly weren’t really opposed to public displays of affection. If they were in the same room as each other, they were always touching in some way, whether they were cuddling, or Ben had his arm around her, or just holding hands.

“You guys shouldn’t have,” Richie smiled, wiping a non-existent tear. Richie looked over. “And Eddie? You came to a party?”

“It’s your birthday, Rich. I’d be here party or not. Also, I was here before they all got here, so technically, the party came to me.”

Richie laughed and threw his arms around him. He pulled back and extended one arm around Bill, too.

“You guys are the best, really.”

“We know,” Bill smiled.

“Richie, we made punch. Spiked punch,” Beverly added.

With that, Richie stood up. “Come get punch with me, Eds,” he said, grabbing Eddie’s hand and pulling him up.

Eddie followed Richie into the kitchen. On the way, five people stopped him to wish him a happy birthday. The smile never left Richie’s face. Eddie surmised that he had never looked so happy. He poured himself a tall cup of punch and took a sip.

“Who made this punch?” Richie asked, laughing a little.

“We all did, but Bev handled the alcohol. Why, is it bad?”

“No, it’s great, it’s just strong. But that means that this will be a great party.”

Eddie walked over to the fridge and took out a can of Coke.

“You aren’t having anything to drink, Eds?”

“No, alcohol freaks me out.”

“All it does is relax you. Just don’t drink too much, or you might throw up. It’s simple.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “How much is too much?”

“It’s different for everyone, but usually you can tell. A lot of people just drink until they’re tipsy and wait until they feel it wearing off before they have another one. That way they don’t get out of control and they don’t get sick.”

“Maybe I could do that.”

“Whatever you like, Eddie Spaghetti.” Richie ruffled his hand in Eddie’s hair. Richie took another sip of punch as Eddie ran his fingers through his hair to fix it, and he poured a small amount of punch into a cup. Eddie thought to himself that he could probably use a little bit of relaxation. In all fairness, he really did hate parties. He wouldn’t have come if it hadn’t been for Richie.

Eddie looked up to see that Richie had disappeared. He looked around but couldn’t see past the people that were directly in front of him, considering that they were pretty much all taller than him, so he gave up and went to join the group back in the living room. People that Eddie didn’t know had now joined his friends and were littered onto the couch, sitting on the floor, and balancing on the backs of the couches. As he approached he heard them talking about pineapple on pizza. When Eddie walked up, Bill had his knee up on the couch taking up a significant amount of space. He tilted his head to gesture for Eddie to come over as he moved his leg off of the couch. Eddie squished in beside Bill and thanked him for keeping him a spot. Beverly was commanding the attention in the conversation, as she often did, and she spoke passionately about her disdain for fruit and pizza together.

“B-But, B-Bev, who cares if it’s fruit as long as it t-tastes good.”

“I care, Bill, I care.”

Eddie began to zone out of the conversation. He wondered where Richie had gone off to so quickly. Though Eddie would never admit it, he admired Richie’s social skills and was sometimes even jealous of them. It seemed like he could make friends with just about anyone. Eddie often wondered if it was because he was naturally funny or because he was hot. Probably both, he thought, begrudgingly. He could walk around at a party where he didn’t know a soul, and could emerge with a bunch of new friends. Eddie concluded that that’s probably where Richie was, just mingling with people that were attending his birthday. After all, he wasn’t looking forward to it, so it would make sense that he would want to thank the people that came.

“Eddie?”

Eddie snapped back into reality when he heard Bill say his name. “Hmm?”

“Bev was talking to you.”

Eddie looked over at Bev who was looking at him like she awaited his answer to a question. When Eddie stared back at her blankly, she repeated herself. “I asked you if you wanted to play Truth or Dare with us.”

“Oh, uh, not really. But thanks.”

“Okay. Do you know where Richie ended up? I’m sure he wouldn’t want to miss a game of Truth or Dare for the world.” Beverly slipped out of her spot on Ben when Eddie shook his head. She walked around and disappeared into the sea of people.

Eddie looked over to Mike and Stan, who were still sitting beside each other on the love seat, but now more relaxed into their respective spots, and chatting quietly about something that Eddie couldn’t hear. “Are you guys playing?”

Stan turned his his over to Eddie. “Playing what?”

“Truth or Dare?”

“Oh, yeah, I am. It’s important to loosen up every once an awhile. At least, that’s what people have told me.” Stan laughed. Stan rarely ever laughed at the things he said. He was a master at the art of deadpan. Eddie noticed him laughing at his own jokes and the faint flush of rose on his cheeks and it occurred to him that Stan was drunk. Eddie had never seen Stan drunk before, in fact, he had never seen any of his friends drunk before. The Losers started attending parties when they were around sixteen, but Eddie had never attended until now. The parties were always held at a person’s house that they all went to school with but didn’t really know. Richie would attend a party almost every weekend, usually taking at least one of the Losers with him. But he wasn’t opposed to going alone if none of them wanted to come, and he sometimes did. He was never anxious about it, because he would always either meet up with someone he did know, or make some new friends for the night.

Eddie suddenly became very aware of Stan’s behaviour, watching him to determine how he acted with alcohol in his system. His hand was resting softly on Mike’s thigh, while they had returned to their conversation and they were still speaking too quietly for Eddie to make out the words.

Ben and Bill were talking to some other people that Eddie didn’t recognize. He looked around the room to see if he could see Richie or Beverly.Upon noticing that he had finished the small amount of punch in his cup, and he didn’t feel any less nervous, he slipped out of his spot on the couch and made his way back into the kitchen. As he walked up to the punch bowl, he noticed a guy making out with a girl that was sitting on the countertop. Her legs were wrapped around his, and her fingers were tangled in his hair. Eddie found himself unable to look away, until his realized the girl was wearing a short denim skirt that was riding up. He thought about how the girl’s privates must be coming in contact with the countertop and had to fight the urge to gag. He darted his eyes back to the punchbowl as he made a mental note to make sure that between the six of them, they must clean every surface of the house once the people go home. Eddie filled up his cup and walked around to the other side of the island and leaned up against it as casually as he could manage.

His eyes surveyed the room and they landed on Beverly, who had appeared from the hallway that led to the bedrooms. Richie followed her with a dopey grin and messier hair than usual, and Eddie watched as Richie’s arm was reaching out behind him, and his hand was connected with someone else’s hand. As the other person came into view, Eddie realized it was a boy that he didn’t recognize. He was confused, before he watched the three of them join up with the rest of his friends. Richie slid his arm around behind the other boy, around his waist. Eddie’s heart dropped as it occurred to him that Richie and that other boy had come from the bedrooms, and now Richie was putting his arm around him. Eddie felt rage burning up inside of him, and then he was hit with jealously that he tried his best to deny.

He walked over to the group and he felt his eyes sting. He must have had a look on his face, because Richie noticed him and immediately looked concerned. “Eds, are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, uh,” Eddie felt himself calm down a little when he saw the worried look on Richie’s face. “I’m fine.”

“Okay, good. This is Matthew, we have Math together. He caught up with me earlier and informed me that he’s in the market for a one-way ticket on the Tozier train.” Matthew elbowed Richie in the side and redness flooded his face. Eddie felt a cold sweat wash over him. “What?” Richie laughed. “It’s true. A life in denial is no way to live,” Richie said as he tugged Matthew over to the couch to squeeze in between Bill and some other guy that Eddie also didn’t recognize.

Matthew was shorter than Richie, but a little bit taller than Eddie. He had wavy light brown hair that was cut nicely but styled messily. His features were small, and his skin was tanned and slightly freckled. Eddie felt another wave of jealousy wash over him due to his admission that Matthew was, indeed, cute.

Eddie took a seat on the floor next to the coffee table. He felt a twinge of nervousness when he remembered that they were about to play Truth or Dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this sucked. i'll probably keep updating it though lmao i have lots planned for this fic. please feel free to leave any constructive criticisms if you have any. thank you and good night


	2. Chapter 2

The group sat around the coffee table in a circle. Music thumped around them while they waited for someone to make the first move. Richie was the first to speak. “Shall I go first? Birthday honours and all that shit?”

Most of the group nodded, and Beverly said, “Yeah, go for it.”

Richie surveyed the room, and almost immediately, his eyes landed on Eddie. “Eddie! Truth or—”

“I’m not playing,” Eddie interrupted.

“What? Come on, Eds, it’s my birthday.”

Eddie contemplated it for a second. On one hand, he would have done anything if it made Richie happy. But on the other, he was only at this party because of Richie, and what he had seen so far was already crushing him. Eddie decided, and shook his head.

Richie shrugged. “Guess you’ll never know what I would have asked you.” Eddie imagined what Richie had in mind, and wondered if he made the right choice. “Mike. Truth or dare?”

“Uh, dare.”

“You and Stan. Seven Minutes in Heaven. Or, uh, whatever heaven’s called in Judaism.”

“What? How did I get roped into this?”

“Every time I look over at you two, you’re touching him in some way or another. I’m only trying to help out your cause.” Richie winked. Stan felt his face get hot.

Mike was already standing up and pulling Stan to his feet. Richie gestured to the coat closet. Mike lead Stan into the closet and closed the door behind them.

“Richie, you shouldn’t force people to do things like that.” Bev was always a voice of reason.

“Oh come on, they’re so into each other. You’d have to be blind not to see it. I’m just giving them a friendly, helpful push. Anyways, it’s not like they actually have to do anything in there.” Richie paused and a smile spread across his face. “But I’m sure they will.”

Stan pushed jackets out of his face. “Sorry about this. Richie knows no boundaries and apparently has it out for me.”

“Stan,” Mike said softly. “Do you want to do anything in here?”

“Hmm?”

“I just want to get it out of the way... do you want to… you know…”

Stan felt his heartbeat thudding, and he was sure that Mike could probably hear it, too. Alcohol still clouded his his brain. The closet was pitch black, but he could see Mike’s warm smile and his welcoming eyes. His heart was so kind. Not to mention his body. Stan felt his knees get weak. Suddenly, he realized he wanted it more than anything, and leaned forward and pressed his lips to Mike’s. In an instant, Mike's hands were around Stan, one caressing his back, the other tangled in his hair.

Stan pressed his body against Mike, as he parted his lips ever so slightly, inviting him in for more. He gripped onto Mike’s shoulders, and slid his hand up to feel the curves of his jawline. He exhaled hotly, as Mike attempted to pull him closer than he already was. He slipped his tongue out gently, and Mike met it with his own. Stan felt euphoric. He was sure that Mike must be holding him up at this point, if not, surely his legs would have given out. Their bodies fit together so seamlessly, and they kissed with such a smooth rhythm that they were sure it was meant to be.

A knock on the door startled them. The kiss broke away as Stan remembered where he was. “That was seven minutes?” he whispered.

Mike laughed. “I guess it was.”

Richie opened the closet door and his jaw dropped open when the light hit Stan. He covered his mouth, and he began to laugh softly. Stan’s hair had previously been combed back and cemented in place with product. Now his curls were disheveled and stuck up in every direction. His cheeks were blushed and his lips were red and glistening. Richie’s eyes trailed over to Mike as Richie noticed he was trying to conceal his smile.

“Richie, don’t you say a fucking word,” Stan hissed. Richie smiled, and made a motion to zip his lips closed and tossed the imaginary key. Mike pushed Stan’s curls back, attempting to restore them to the best of his ability, before they followed Richie back into the party. They reclaimed their spots on the love seat, as Richie slipped back into place beside Matthew. Anxiety washed over Stan as he tried to ignore the eyes that he could feel on him. Mike reached his arm around him, and he forgot about that feeling. He allowed himself to melt into Mike.

“Alright,” Mike spoke, intent on returning the favour back to Richie. “My turn now. Matthew. Truth or dare?”

“Um… truth?”

“What were you and Richie doing before Bev went to find you?” Richie chuckled and Matthew blushed. “And Richie, you can’t answer.”

Eddie watched from his spot on the floor and expected the worst. He wasn’t sure how sex worked between guys but imagining Richie and Matthew doing it made his heart ache.

“We just kissed.”

“Sorry to disappoint, ladies and gentlemen.” This was somehow better than what Eddie had imagined, but it still stung.

Mike nodded with a smile. “Fair enough.” Stan was starting to fall asleep on his chest. “Go ahead, Matt.”

Matthew smiled and looked around at the group. “Um… Bill. Truth or dare?”

“D-Dare.”

“I dare you…to…find the prettiest girl at this party and try to get her to kiss you. But you can’t tell her it’s a dare. And it can’t be Beverly, ‘cause obviously.”

Bill laughed. “Okay.” He stood up and looked around the room. His eyes skipped over to the dining table where he noticed the girl that Beverly was talking about earlier. Bill didn't know she was even at the party. He decided that she was definitely the prettiest, and started over to her. She was sitting on the table next to her friend, speaking quietly and tying a loose braid in her hair thoughtlessly. Richie followed Bill, trying to avoid being noticed by the girl. He leaned against the island but faced away from them, so he could hear the conversation.

“Uh, hi,” Bill said as he walked up to her. He stuck his hand out for a handshake. “Muh-muh-my name’s Bill.”

She turned, dropping the braid and tucking her hair behind her ear. The braid fell out softly. “Um… Alison.” She reached forward and shook Bill’s hand. “Can I help you with something?”

“Can we, maybe… t-t-talk alone?”

Alison looked over at her friend and nodded. The other girl stood up and disappeared into the people. Bill sat down beside her. “So… this may b-b-be weird, and I’m s-s-sorry if it is, but I think you’re b-beautiful.” She was slightly taken aback by Bill’s forwardness, but a smile formed on her lips.

“Thank you. Is that what you came over here to tell me?”

“I came over here to ask if I could k-kiss you.”

“Wow. Uh, I guess, yeah?”

Bill leaned in and kissed her. She held the side of his face with one hand, and his knee with the other. Bill noticed how she smelled like vanilla and tasted like mint. He pulled away from the kiss and turned his head over to Richie. “Can I tell her now?”

Richie turned around. “Well, I guess you can now, since she knows something’s up.”

“What’s going on?”

“We’re playing Truth or Dare over there and Billy Boy was dared to find the prettiest girl in the room and get her to kiss him. Turned out to not be much of a challenge though, because all he had to do was ask, apparently.”

She looked over to Bill. “You think I’m the prettiest girl in the room? Aren’t you like best friends with Beverly Marsh?”

Bill shrugged. “Bev and I are just friends. Plus, she’s dating Ben Hanscom.”

Richie nodded. “Plus, she wasn’t included in the dare.”

“D-Do you wanna come over and sit with us?”

“Sure.” Bill stood up and Alison followed him and Richie back to the living room.

“Point for Big Bill,” Richie said as he hopped over the back of the couch and sat back down. “Now it’s your turn.”

Bill thought about it for a moment. “Beverly.”

“Yes?”

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to d-drink a full cup of p-punch in less than th-thirty seconds.”

“Easy.” Beverly stood up, filled her cup with punch, and returned to the group. She looked over at Eddie. He had become the designated timekeeper, using his wristwatch’s stopwatch feature. He wasn’t thrilled about this, but he didn’t mind it too much, either. He said “go,” as he clicked the stopwatch on.

Beverly tilted the cup back and drank the entire contents, and slammed the plastic cup down on the coffee table dramatically. Eddie clicked off the stopwatch. “12 seconds.”

“Jesus, Bev. Nice job.”

“Child’s play,” she laughed as she sat back down. “Alright, Richie, truth or dare?”

“Dare. And don’t go easy on me, Marsh.”

Bev thought about it for a moment. “I dare you to streak down the block.”

“Completely naked?” Richie asked.

“Like this day, eighteen years ago.”

Richie laughed. “Yeah, okay.”

Beverly looked over to meet Matthew’s concerned gaze. “Something you should know about Richie, Matthew, is that he will never, ever back down from a dare. Doesn’t matter what it is. He’ll do it.”

Richie nodded. “It’s true. How long to I have to do it for?”

“Just start on one end of the street, run past the house to the other corner, and run back.”

“I have to run back, too? Fuck.”

“It’ll be fine, it’s dark out.”

 

Richie stood at the corner of the street. It was March, so the nighttime air was still crisp from the coldness of winter. He had taken off his clothes inside and Bev gave him a towel to wrap around his waist. The dare was only to streak outside, not through the party, too, as Richie had made sure to mention. The group gathered on the front porch, while Stan stayed inside with Mike to sleep. Upon being woken up, he said “Don’t ever wake me up with the assumption that I want to get up and see Richie’s junk. The answer is and will always be ‘no.’”

He insisted that Mike stay inside with him, and Mike had no problem with it, because he wasn’t too interested in seeing Richie naked either.

The rest of the Losers, along with Matthew and Alison, and some strangers that were watching the game now stood on the front porch waiting for Richie.

Richie dropped the towel on the grass. He took a deep breath and started to run. _Maybe if I run really fast, they won’t even see anything,_ he thought. He sprinted down the street, coming up to Bev’s house. He heard shouting and laughter as he ran past the house, but didn’t stop to look. He ran up to the corner of the street, and spun around, running back.

“Nice ass, Richie!” Bev called behind him once he had already passed the house. Eddie watched the event unfold in complete disbelief. He watched Richie’s lanky body sprinting down the street, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He watched in awe at Richie’s dick and balls flopping around as he ran past the house. It was dark, and Richie was running pretty fast, but there was no denying that Eddie had seen it. It made him feel weird.

Richie retrieved the towel that he left on the grass and wrapped it around himself. He couldn’t believe that he had actually done that. He hadn’t even had that much to drink. As he walked up the porch stairs, Bill patted him on the back.

“You’re a f-f-fuckin’ legend, Rich.”

Richie laughed. “Listen, I know you guys saw what you saw, but consider this: It’s cold out, and it’s not usually that small.”

The group laughed but Eddie recoiled. _Small??_ he thought. _What the fuck??_

“I mainly say that so you know what you’re in for,” Richie giggled as his fingers grazed Matthew’s chin. He blushed. Seeing Richie flirt with people made Eddie’s blood boil. He couldn’t comfortably pinpoint any exact reason why, though. There was really no reason why Richie shouldn’t flirt with people. He was a flirtatious person by nature. And if he was really interested in this guy, why wouldn’t he flirt with him? Eddie felt a sudden pang of guilt when he realized that he should be happy for Richie, because Matthew did seem like he was interested in Richie, too.

Richie slipped into the bathroom to put his clothes back on, while the rest of the group returned to the living room. Eddie noticed that it was 1:26.

“Thanks for that, Beverly,” Richie said as he came down the hallway. “I need a drink.”

“You said not to go easy on you. Choose your words more carefully next time,” she said with a wink.

Richie sat back down on the couch with a plastic cup in hand. “Alright, my turn again. Ben, you haven’t been asked yet. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“When was the last time you touched yourself?”

“Richie!” Bev hissed, but Ben was laughing.

“It’s okay, Bev.” Ben thought for a moment. “Three days ago, I think?”

Richie nodded, satisfied with Ben’s answer. At this point, Eddie had decided that he was glad that he chose not to play.

Ben looked around. “I think everyone’s been asked at least once, right? Oh, where’s Stan? He hasn’t been asked.”

“I think Stan participated enough with Mike’s dare. But Mike’s gone, too.”

Richie gasped. “You don’t think…”

“I doubt it, Richie.”

Richie got up and zig zagged through people to the other side of the house. There was significantly less people at the party than there was earlier. The first door in the hallway let to Bev’s room. He opened the door and scanned the room, but it was void of people. He walked further down the hallway and knocked on the closed bathroom door. “Is Stan and/or Mike in there?”

A voice said “no,” and Richie kept walking. The door to Bev’s aunt’s room was closed, and Richie put his ear against the door. Upon hearing nothing, he opened it slowly to see Mike and Stan curled up together on the bed, sleeping soundly. He closed the door as slowly and quietly as he opened it. He walked back down the hall and joined the others.

“That was so fucking sweet it made my teeth hurt.”

“Where are they?”

“They’re in Bev’s aunt’s room, sleeping together. Like, literally, sleeping together, all cuddled up and shit. Fuckin’ adorable. I’m taking all of the credit for that, by the way.”

Bill rolled his eyes, and told Alison that Richie dared them both to do Seven Minutes in Heaven and she nodded understandably.

“Well, should we consider that game of Truth or Dare finished? We could play something else…” Richie looked around and picked up a discarded glass bottle. “Anyone else thinking what I’m thinking?” Everyone looked around at each other and shrugged and nodded. “Eddie? You in this time?”

“I’m not kissing anyone, do you know how many—”

“—germs are in the human mouth, we know, Eds. No one’s gonna be frenching. Just little pecks, is all. It’s up to you.”

Eddie thought about it for a minute. “Okay.”

“What?”

“I said ‘okay’. I’ll play.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not? I’ll just clean my mouth right after.”

Bill also explained to Alison that Eddie was a hypochondriac with an often times crippling fear of germs.

“Okay, whatever works.” Richie placed the bottle on the coffee table. “Alison? Matt? You guys are playing too, yeah?” They nodded. “Bev, Ben, you guys don’t care if you have to kiss someone else?” They shook their heads.

“Like you said, Rich, no one’s gonna be frenching,” Bev laughed.

“That, and it’s just a game,” Ben added.

Richie placed the bottle on its side before sitting down on the floor beside Eddie. He gave the bottle a gentle spin and it landed on Bill. “Bill, you wanna do the honours?” Richie asked.

“It’s alright, go ahead, Richie.”

He gave the bottle another spin and it landed on himself. “Alright,” he said with a smirk. He got up and sat on the coffee table in front of Bill. Bill leaned forward towards Richie and Richie held his face before kissing him gently.

“Nice, Bill. Very soft, not too dry, but not wet. Alison, you’re a lucky girl.” She blushed as Richie sat back down. Bill smiled and he reached his arm around her.

Richie spun the bottle again and it landed on Beverly. Bev leaned forward and gave it a spin and it landed on Eddie. Eddie breathed a sigh of relief. He was nervous about the game, but he trusted Bev, probably the most out of the people in front of him. She sat down on the floor between Eddie and Richie and caressed the side of his face. Beverly was a lot like a sister to Eddie, he’d never felt any attraction to her. In fact, Eddie couldn’t remember finding attraction to any girls before. He could recognize that they were pretty, but it was never anything more than an observation.

Beverly leaned in and kissed him softly. She pulled away after nothing more than a second. “Not so bad, right?”

“Not so bad.”

Beverly booped his nose and got up to sit back down.

They played the game for some time longer. Ben had to kiss Matthew, Richie had to kiss Alison, Alison had to kiss Bev, and Eddie had to kiss Bill. Eddie didn’t find it overly hard to kiss Bill, either, because Bill was like a big brother to him, in the same way Bev was like a sister. Most of the time, the Losers really did feel like a family. Eddie kept silently wishing that he would land on Richie, or Richie would land on him, but it never happened. They did a couple more kisses, one between Ben and Beverly, and one between Matthew and Alison. After that, the group became somewhat bored with the game and gave up on it. At this point, it was close to 3:30 am and most of the people had gone home. A few small groups of people were still established, but the people surrounding the Losers had now completely disappeared.

“Hey, we can watch Poltergeist. I can kick out the people that are still here,” Richie said, standing up.

“Sure, I’ll grab some blankets and snacks,” Bev replied, getting up as well.

Eddie left the living room and went into Bev’s room where he left his overnight bag. The bag was fully mostly because of Eddie’s toiletry bag, which contained any medications that Eddie could ever need, band-aids, three separate ointments for different purposes, his toothbrush, toothpaste, and antibacterial mouthwash. He would rather be prepared and not need it than vice versa.

He removed his toothbrush, toothpaste and the mouthwash and crossed the hall to the bathroom. There was a couple sitting in the bathtub making out. “Hey, come on, party’s over, shoo,” Eddie said as the couple awkwardly staggered out of the bathroom. He dampened his toothbrush in the sink and spread a strip of toothpaste across the bristles. As he brushed, he thought about what a waste the game of Spin the Bottle had been. The only reason he played was because of the chance of having to kiss Richie. “Fuck,” he whispered around his toothbrush. He really did have a thing for him. Eddie sighed heavily. He spit out the lathered up toothpaste and rinsed off his toothbrush. What did this mean for Eddie? He was sure that Richie didn’t have any feelings for him, also he seemed to be pretty interested in that guy. So Eddie did what he thought was his only option, and pushed his feelings as far down as he possibly could, and unscrewed the cap of the mouthwash. He washed his hands and dabbed a bit of mouthwash on his fingers, and wiped it over his lips. He really wasn’t sure what kind of germs were on people’s lips, but he wasn’t about to risk it.

Eddie rinsed the mouthwash off with some water from the sink and poured a small mouth into the cap. Tipping it into his mouth and swishing it around, he watched the reflection in the mirror. Eddie didn’t really have any problems with self-esteem, but he didn’t consider himself gorgeous. He more thought he was kind of cute, on a good day. _Maybe Richie could be attracted to me._ He caught himself, and tried to shake that thought away. He picked up his things and returned to Bev’s room. His pyjama pants and a white T-shirt sat in the bottom of his overnight bag, and he plucked them out and replaced them with the toiletry bag. The door clicked as he closed it, and he changed into the pyjamas. When he returned to the living room, the rest of the party attendees were gone. Richie and Ben were turning on the movie, while Alison had curled up beside Bill. She looked like she was about to fall asleep. Bill looked like he may nod off at any moment, too. Eddie curled up on the opposite side of the couch. Matthew sat patiently on the love seat, as though he was waiting for Richie to return, and it made Eddie’s stomach churn.

Beverly still stood in the kitchen, she had found a bunch of blankets and was just fixing up some snacks. She poured some chips into a bowl and removed a container of dip out of the fridge. As Beverly was returning, Ben and Richie had the movie ready to go, and they all took their seats. Beverly pulled a blanket over herself and Ben, and they snuggled up to each other. Richie sat down beside Matthew and rested against the corner of the couch. Matthew pulled a blanket up and laid down into Richie, resting his head on Richie’s stomach, and Richie played with his hair aimlessly.

Bill and Alison were still curled up together, but Bev had given them a blanket. She also gave Eddie his own blanket, and he was acutely and crushingly aware of how alone he was compared to everyone else. The music of the movie caught Eddie’s attention, as he glanced down at the clock. 3:56 am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's that? billverly's canon? i can't read suddenly, i don't know  
> i felt compelled to give bill a girlfriend ok he deserves it
> 
> sorry this chapter was a bit shorter and pretty dialogue heavy. i'm glad some of y'all are actually enjoying this tho <3


	3. Chapter 3

Golden light flooded through the half drawn curtains of the living room. The television screen illuminated blue and hummed softly. Eddie’s eyes fluttered awake to see the bright room around him. He glanced down to see that it was 9 am. Realizing where he was, he sat up. He must have fallen asleep while watching the movie. He looked around to see Bill and Alison still curled around each other, Bill snoring lightly. Richie and Matthew were gone.

He heard movement behind him and Beverly’s gentle singing. He turned to look and Beverly was making tea in the kitchen. The room was a complete mess. It didn’t look like anything was damaged, but plastic cups were everywhere, food and drinks were spilled on almost every surface, and half deflated balloons and streamers littered the floor. Beverly stepped around the mess and approached the living room, a steaming mug in her hands. She was wearing a big sweater that belonged to Ben, and Eddie was unsure if she was wearing any pants.

“Good morning, Eddie. Can I make you some tea? Or a hot chocolate?” She knew that Eddie didn’t like coffee.

Eddie rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “That’s ok, Bev.”

“Did you have fun last night?”

Eddie recounted the events from the previous night. He thought about Richie, and how Richie was all over a boy he just met.

“I guess.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know.” Eddie glanced over to Bill and Alison to make sure they were still sleeping. “Can I ask you something, Bev?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Do you know if Richie is dating that Matthew guy, now?”

Beverly looked like she was anticipating that exact question. “I really don’t know, Eddie.”

“Where are they, anyways?”

“They walked over to Richie’s last night. Richie was pretty drunk but Matthew was almost sober and he promised me that he would take care of him.”

Eddie felt suddenly defensive. “Bev, what if he took advantage of Richie? If Richie was drunk he couldn’t say no, and what if Matthew made him—”

“Eddie. Slow down. Matthew’s a really nice guy. Richie was the one that wanted to go home and Matthew was very concerned about him. We were going to wake up Mike to drive him home but Matthew insisted that he would—”

“You’ve only known him for a day! Richie’s only known him for a day! What if he was lying, Bev, did you ever think of that?”

Beverly sighed, and Bill stirred, reacting to Eddie’s increase in volume.

“Come outside with me, sweetheart.” She held Eddie’s hand and he followed her out the front door. They sat down on the front steps of the porch. “I don’t want to wake up Bill and Alison, because I need to ask you a very serious question.”

Eddie felt concerned and upset, but mainly nervous at what Beverly was going to ask.

“I need you to be honest with me, Eddie, because I watched you last night, and no one else may have noticed, but I did. Are you jealous of Matthew?”

“What?” Eddie tried to act surprised, but he felt tears stinging at his eyes. “I don’t think so.”

“Look at me, Eddie.” He was avoiding making eye contact with Bev, but she picked up on everything. Eddie met her eyes and instantly felt himself break inside. He collapsed into Beverly’s arms, and she held him tightly as he sobbed into her shoulder. She rubbed his back softly as he cried, and she felt him shaking against her. “Shh, it’s ok, it’ll be ok,” she whispered.

Eddie cried for a long time, while Beverly drew circles on his back with her thumb. After some time, he pulled away from Bev’s embrace and wiped his cheeks. “I don’t know what to do,” he said quietly. “What am I supposed to do, Bev?”

Beverly thought about it for a while. “I don’t think there’s a lot you can do, Ed. You can talk to Richie about it, and tell him how you feel.”

Eddie dropped his head into his hands and felt more tears coming.

“What’s the matter?”

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way, Bev? What if it makes him uncomfortable and things between all of us get weird? What if we all break apart because of me?”

“That wouldn’t happen, Eddie. Richie’s an understanding person deep down.”

“But you can’t say for sure that it wouldn’t happen. I could never live with myself if I ruined things between us, Bev.”

“I know.” She hesitated for a moment. “Your only other option is to keep it to yourself and try to ignore your feelings. I wouldn’t recommend it, but it’s an option. It won’t be enjoyable, and it will probably hurt for a long time.”

Eddie sighed and shifted onto his side, dropping his head into Bev’s lap. She ran her fingers through his hair in an effort to comfort him, which worked. After a while, he spoke. “Why him?”

“Hmm?”

“He’s annoying, and stupid, and lanky, and messy, and vulgar, and—” Eddie felt tears start to roll down his face as he thought about how Richie’s face crinkled when he laughed, and his messy black curls that always seemed to look perfect even though he rarely touched them, and his faint freckles that you could really only see if you were really close. He thought about all the things that he was really attracted to, and how all of those traits belonged to Richie. His heart hurt. “Why did I have to get feelings for _him_?”

“Unfortunately, love isn’t a choice. It just kinda happens.”

The word ‘love’ made Eddie feel dizzy. Did he love Richie? Was he _in love_ with Richie? He couldn’t even fathom the thought.

“Beverly, what happens if Richie starts dating Matthew? How can I stop being jealous?”

“I don’t know if it’s possible to stop entirely, but recognizing why you’re jealous is a good start. You’ll have to come to terms in your mind with the fact that Matthew isn’t a bad person just because Richie likes him. It’s just your brain projecting that you don’t like him because he has what you want.” Eddie felt the words cut into him. Did Matthew have what he wanted? He supposed that in a lot of ways he did.

“Will the pain ever stop?”

“Eventually it will. But it will probably be there until you fall in love with someone else.”

Eddie frowned at the thought of loving someone else. As long as Richie was around, he couldn't imagine loving anyone else. He sighed and sat up, wiping his eyes. “Thanks, Bev.” He pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry I shouted at you, before.”

She smiled. “Don’t worry about it. I'm pretty hungry, we should all go out for breakfast.”

They stood up and went back inside, and Bill and Alison were sitting up now, talking. Mike and Ben were haphazardly tossing plastic cups into a garbage bag and poking the necks of the balloons with scissors to let the air leak out.

“Is Stan still sleeping?” Bev asked, upon seeing Mike. He nodded.

Beverly slowly opened the door to her aunt’s room. Stan was still sleeping soundly. She sat down on the bed and stroked his arm. “Stanley, we’re going to get breakfast, it’s time to wake up.”

His eyelashes fluttered slightly before his eyes blinked open. “Bev?”

“We’re going to breakfast, sweetheart. Come on.”

“I think I kissed Mike last night.”

Bev laughed. “Yeah, I think you did, too.”

“Where is he? I wanna kiss him again.”

Bev laughed again. “He’s helping Ben clean up the house.”

Stan sat up and left the room. Beverly followed him and watched as he walked up behind Mike, and grabbed his arm, turning him around and pulling him into a kiss. When he pulled away, he was beaming. “Sorry,” he laughed. “It was so good last night I had to do it again.”

Mike laughed. “You can kiss me anytime, Stan, you don’t need to apologize.”

“That’s great news,” Stan said, wrapping his arms around Mike and hugging him.

Bev walked into the kitchen. “Come on, guys, let’s go get some food, I’m starved.”

 

The Losers ended up at Denny’s for breakfast. After leaving Bev’s, they took Alison home so that her parents wouldn’t be worried. They also picked up Richie and drove Matthew home. Eddie prayed that Richie wouldn’t invite him to breakfast and his prayers were answered when they dropped him off at his house. But, Eddie watched Richie kiss him goodbye and tried his absolute hardest not to let it make him upset. They decided on Denny’s, and now they sat in the restaurant at the biggest available booth.

Richie seemed to be completely free of a hangover, much to the group’s surprise. He had been drinking pretty steadily all night, and even though Eddie fell asleep, they recounted how Richie didn’t stop drinking. From what Eddie could gather, it was about 6 am when Richie and Matthew left.

Stan folded up his menu and placed it on the table. “So Richie…”

Richie looked up from his own menu. “Yes, Stanny?”

“What’s the story between you and Matthew so far?”

Beverly’s eyes scanned Eddie, but Eddie gave her a solemn, assuring look.

Richie looked down at the menu in front of him and picked at the laminated corner. “Well, he’s really nice.” He glanced up and saw Stan’s disbelief at Richie’s seemingly wholesome answer. Richie cracked a smirk and lifted his hand up to do a blowjob gesture. He winked. Beverly elbowed his side and Richie started laughing. “I’m just joking, we didn’t do anything. Unfortunately. But honestly, he’s a nice kid. Took good care of me last night. At least that’s what I hear, cause I don’t remember much of it.”

“Are you gonna see him again?”

Eddie felt his breath hitch.

“Oh, for sure. We exchanged numbers. He asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with him sometime, to which the answer was ‘of course.’ I love movies, almost as much as I love cute boys. Hey, speaking of cute boys, did you have fun last night, Eddie?”

Eddie felt his face get hot. “Uh, yeah, it was ok. Sorry, excuse me.” Eddie stood up from the table and walked straight to the bathroom.

Richie looked over at the rest of the group. “Does he seem off today, or is it just me?”

Beverly looked down and the rest of the guys shrugged. Beverly wished she could go into the men’s washroom to see if Eddie was okay.

 

Eddie tried not to cry. He stood inside one of the bathroom stalls and tried to force his feelings away. What he had feared was going to come true. Richie would start seeing Matthew more often and then probably start dating him and the thought made Eddie want to scream. He tried to think of Bev’s advice, and what she would say now. But Eddie wasn’t sure how long he could go on listening to Richie talk about him. It made Eddie feel sick. He took some long deep breaths and tried to calm down. He spun around and unlocked the door. Stepping out, he let out a small squeak when the door opened and Richie appeared.

“Eds, are you alright? Something’s clearly bothering you. Talk to me.”

Eddie exhaled and blinked slowly, and next thing he knew he was hugging Richie. Richie’s arms wrapped around Eddie and he held him tightly. His head rested on Richie’s chest and he could smell Richie’s cologne. “Please, Eddie, you can tell me anything, I promise. I’m here for you. Did something happen last night?”

In this moment, Eddie seriously considered telling Richie how he really felt. He wanted to. He almost did. But thinking about all of the risks he would be making convinced him not to.

“I just think the pressure my mother puts on me is finally breaking me. She hates that I still hang out with you guys, and she didn’t want me to go to Beverly’s last night for your party. She wouldn’t have let me go, so I had to sneak out. She never wants me to leave the house, Rich. She wants me to do online classes at the community college because she wants me to live with her forever. I can’t do it anymore.” Even though it wasn’t the reason he was so viscerally upset, it wasn’t a lie. He did truly feel like he couldn’t handle living with his mom anymore, and he thought it was starting to make him crazy.

“What if you and me get an apartment together?”

“What?” The idea caught Eddie completely off guard.

“Yeah, 'cause my family sucks too, I wouldn’t mind getting away from them. Between the money I’ll make at the video store and and the money you’ll make from the grocery store after we graduate, I’m sure we could afford a nice little place. I can’t stand seeing you upset, Eds. I’d do anything if it meant you’d be happy again.”

Eddie’s face was still tucked into Richie’s chest, and he was glad Richie couldn’t see his face. Tears welled up in his eyes and he tried to blink them away.

“Even if we could find a cheap bachelor’s pad, we could just sleep in the living room. My parents have a couch that pulls out to a bed in the basement, I’m sure they’d let me have it for like fifty bucks or even a case of beer.”

“Richie.”

“What?”

“Thank you.”

“You know I’d do anything for you, Eds.”

Eddie pulled away and Richie was shocked to see that Eddie was crying. He quickly wiped Eddie’s tears away with his thumb.

 _Richie, I’m in love with you._ It would be so easy to say right now. But he couldn’t say it. The words danced on the tip of his tongue but he held them back with all the strength he could gather. _You don’t know if he feels the same way._ More tears welled up but he blinked them away as Richie pulled him in and hugged him again.

“It’ll be ok. Come on, let’s go order our food. The waitress probably thinks we’re fucking in here.”

Eddie was surprised and embarrassed at the remark for a moment, before realizing that it really was just Richie being Richie and he cracked a smile. “Beep beep, Richie.”

 

The group ordered their food and spent the rest of the morning laughing and eating. Richie joked about Stan and Mike finally getting together, and how he still considered himself to be the mastermind responsible.

“All jokes aside, thanks, Richie. Seriously. You apparently do have some sort of expertise when it comes to romance,” Stan said while holding Mike’s hand under the table.

From the moment Stan met Mike he knew that he was incredibly attracted to him, but he was never really sure if Mike felt the same way. Luckily, unbeknownst to Stan, Mike felt the _exact_ same way. He thought Stan was beautiful. Which wasn’t saying much, because the general consensus at the Derry High School was that Stan was beautiful. He was tall and thin, but toned from playing volleyball on the school team. With high cheekbones, golden curls, and naturally straight, nearly perfect teeth, Mike was sure that some sort of deity must exist, because they had to have sculpted Stanley Uris by hand.

And when Mike kissed Stan, it felt like nothing he had experienced before. Mike had kissed a couple girls before he kissed Stan, but nothing ever felt like that. Mike never wanted to let him go.

When the group finished their breakfast, they insisted upon splitting Richie’s bill up amongst the six of them. They weren’t finished with his birthday yet. From the restaurant, they drove to Bill’s house, where they had kept Richie’s presents. They got him an ice cream cake the day before, which was his favourite, and they kept it in the fridge at the Denbrough’s. They planned to order pizza for dinner, also Richie’s favourite.

The six of them pooled their money together and bought Richie a Sega: Genesis. He was saving up to buy one himself, so he nearly cried when he opened the package. They also got him Mortal Combat and Sonic the Hedgehog for the Genesis so he would have some games to play. 

Even though he also pitched in for the game console, Eddie also got Richie a daffodil patch for his jacket. Richie got the black denim jacket in their freshman year. When he bought it, it was clean and free of rips, but after wearing it every day for three years, the jacket was worn out and had small rips and tears in various places. The denim was decorated with pins and patches. They were collected over the last couple years, and sewn on around the back of the jacket and the arms. He had a tiger face, an eyeball, the Nirvana smiley face, a star, a heart, and on the side of his arm, a little bisexual flag. When Richie opened the little box that Eddie’s daffodil patch was in, Eddie quickly explained that the daffodil is the birth flower for the month of March. Richie smiled and told him how much he loved it. He got Bev to sew it onto his jacket with a tiny sewing kit that she always kept on her.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve such amazing friends.” The group sat while waiting for the pizza to arrive. “Seriously, you guys are incredible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writer's block is just g r e a t


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alright so this chapter gets smutty real quick also explicit drug use becomes a thing from here on out 
> 
> enjoy

The weekend after Richie’s birthday, Matthew invited Richie over to his house for the first time. His handed down 1982 Dodge Aries rolled up to Richie's house around 9 pm. Richie wasn't sure how long he would be at Matt's, but he brought a backpack with a change of clothes and a toothbrush just in case. He also brought a couple joints in a little plastic bag. He wasn’t sure if Matt had ever smoked before, and he would never pressure him into anything, but he thought he would bring them anyways. He knew that Matt was, at least, aware that he smoked weed, so Richie wasn’t worried about it.

On the way to his house, Matt was sure to tell Richie a million times that his parents were completely supportive of his sexuality and he didn’t need to pretend like they were just friends in front of them. Richie wasn’t nervous about that factor, he had just never actually dated anyone, so he wasn’t exactly sure how to act around Matt’s parents. Also, Richie still wasn’t entirely sure if they were officially dating.

They stepped into Matt’s house and Matt chimed a ‘hello’ presumably to his unseen parents. A woman’s voice was heard from the other room. She appeared suddenly from around the corner, smiling widely. “You must be Richie. We’ve heard lots about you.”

“Mom,” Matt said shyly. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Laurent.” Richie held his hand out and shook her hand.

Matt’s father appeared beside her, and reached out to shake Richie’s hand as well. “Nice to meet you, Richie. Our son speaks highly of you.”

“Dad, please.”

“Sorry, Matthew. But it’s true.”

“Come on, let’s go upstairs.”

“It was nice meeting you guys,” Richie smiled as Matt dragged him up the stairs.

The two shuffled to Matt’s bedroom while he apologized for his parents being weird. Richie laughed, not really thinking that they were being overly weird. Matt locked his bedroom door behind them.

“Your parents are okay with you locking the door?”

Matt shrugged. “They don’t care. I doubt they’ll even try the door. They usually to leave me alone.”

Richie placed his backpack on the floor and looked around the room absentmindedly, noticing band posters and video game memorabilia. He thought about how similar they really were, before Matt pulled him into a kiss. Richie was surprised for a moment, but he quickly started kissing Matt back. Matt was a great kisser, and Richie loved it.

Without ever breaking contact, they ended up sitting on the bed, making out. Matt pulled himself up onto Richie’s lap, gripping his shoulders. Richie found his hands on Matt’s hips, and he noticed that Matt was rolling them ever-so-slightly. Richie felt blood rush to his crotch. A quiet groan escaped his lips. Matt leaned forward, and breathed in Richie’s ear. “Fuck me, Richie.”

“Jesus, Matt.” Richie broke away, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. “Don’t you think that we might be moving a little too fast, here?”

Matt was now sitting on the bed beside Richie. He looked at the floor. “Sorry, I was just getting really into it.” Richie felt unpleasantly hot, and embarrassed. He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears.

“I just don’t think I’m ready for that, yet.”

“That’s okay, it was too far, I should have talked to you about it first.” He paused and looked around the room awkwardly. “Richie, can I ask you something?”

“Uh, yeah, go ahead.”

“Are you a virgin?”

“No.” Richie hesitated. “I’ve just never done anything like that with a guy before.”

“I understand.”

Richie stood up. “I think I might go home.” He walked over and threw his backpack over his shoulder.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Richie, I’m really sorry. You don’t have to leave.”

“It’s not that.” It really was, though. “I just have a bit of a headache and I’m pretty tired. I have to work in the morning, too.”

Matt looked at him warily. “Well, at least let me drive you home.”

“No, it’s ok, I can walk. It’s not far.” He didn’t want the awkward air between them to continue any further.

“Richie, it’s like a thirty minute walk and a five minute drive, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Really, Matt, it’s fine.” Richie opened the door and walked down the stairs. Matt followed, still trying to convince him to let him drive him home. They stood at the front door. “It’s ok, the fresh air will probably do me some good. Thanks for inviting me over.” Richie smiled weakly. “I’ll call you, ok?”

With Richie’s offer to call him later, Matt looked reassured and let him go. They hugged briefly before Richie slipped out the front door into the darkness.

The air was slightly cold but Richie found it relieving against his warm skin. His head spun with dizzying thoughts and he tried to ignore them. Without putting any thought into it, he started walking to the Barrens, almost as though his legs were on autopilot. Matt’s house was only a few blocks away from the place the Losers used to hang out at as kids. He just wanted to be alone for a little while, which was the main reason he wouldn’t let Matt drive him home.

He sat down against a tree overlooking the creek. It was fairly dark down in the Barrens, and the only things Richie could see in front of him were those illuminated by the moonlight. He relaxed against the tree and took a deep breath. After spending a while trying to clear his mind of thought, just watching the creek’s soft movement, his thoughts eventually wandered back to Matt. He couldn’t understand why he reacted so strongly to Matt’s advances, because it wasn’t like Richie was ever scared or uncomfortable when it came to sex. Richie loved sex. Maybe it was simply too soon in their relationship? But that had never stopped him before. Richie had taken part in a few one night stands before, and he never had any problems with it.

He reached into his backpack and fished a joint out of the little plastic baggy, and fumbled with his lighter in his pocket before pulling it out and lighting the joint. He breathed the smoke in deeply and continued watching the flowing water. Why was it that he felt so uncomfortable with Matthew coming onto him like that? He thought about it for a long while. He had kind of always imagined his first time with a guy to be with someone else. With Eddie. When Richie’s mind wandered to that thought, he sighed. He developed a small crush on Eddie when they started high school and it had turned into kind of a big crush at this point. He felt bad for thinking about Eddie when he and Matthew were starting to see each other more often. Not to mention that Richie couldn’t help but see small physical similarities between the two of them. They were of the same height and build, both with small features and brown hair.

Richie took another drag off of the joint and leaned his head against the trunk of the tree. _How pathetic,_ he thought to himself. _Matt literally asked me to fuck him and I freaked out and ran out of his house. Why the fuck did I do that? What reason do I possibly have to be scared?_

He took a deep breath and listened to the crickets chirping and frogs croaking. His eyes flickered closed. He began to feel like he was floating. He wanted to float away. All he wanted was to drift over to Eddie’s house and give him a big hug. He yearned for that comfort. He wanted to tell Eddie’s mother to stop smothering her son. Richie thought about moving out with Eddie. The idea made him smile. He thought about sharing a bed with him and sleeping beside him and his heartbeat sped up. _Fuck. Stop thinking about him like that, he’s your friend, and that’s all he is._

He forced himself to think about Matthew. He really hoped that he wasn’t offended that Richie ran out on him. Suddenly, he wanted to go back and talk to him and apologize. He really did like Matthew. He was really sweet, really cute, and really good at kissing. Richie stood up. He swung his backpack around onto his back and started walking. He finished the joint as he neared the bridge over the Barrens and tossed the roach into the creek.

When he got to Matt’s house, he snuck quietly as he could manage around to the side of the house where Matt’s bedroom was. He tossed a pebble up to his bedroom window, and Matt quickly appeared in the window.

He quickly lifted the window pane up. “Richie, what are you doing? I thought you went home.”

“I changed my mind. Do you still want to hang out?”

A smile spread across Matt’s face. “Yeah.”

Richie waited outside for him to come down so that his parents wouldn’t have a chance of smelling weed on Richie’s clothes. Richie took Matthew back to the spot where he was sitting before, overlooking the Barrens. They sat beside the giant tree that Richie often sat under and was sitting under about twenty minutes prior. They talked for a while. Richie admitted that he lied about having to work in the morning and he told Matthew that he had no idea why he freaked out like that. He apologized for what must have been the fifth time, while Matthew kept telling him it was ok. Matt made Richie promise that they would communicate better to avoid something like that happening again. Richie did promise, and they hugged.

They were quiet for a while, listening to the flowing water in the creek and the croaking frogs. Richie spoke softly. “So, uh, can I ask you something?

“Should I be nervous?”

Richie smiled. “I don’t think so. I just want to know how you feel about marijuana.”

Matt laughed at his apprehension to such an easy question. “I’m not opposed to it. I tried it with a friend of mine in the 9th grade. Never really felt anything. He said that was normal for the first time, though.”

“Would you ever try it again?”

“Are you asking me to smoke with you, Rich?”

Richie cracked a smile. “Maybe.”

Matt smiled back. “Then the answer is yes.”

Satisfied, Richie opened his backpack and pulled out another joint. “Do you want to do the honours?” Matthew plucked it out of Richie’s hand and placed it between his lips, while Richie pulled out his lighter and lit the joint for Matt. He took a long drag, and held it, and dropped his arm with the joint between his fingers. Richie leaned in and pressed a kiss to Matt’s lips, as Matt opened his mouth and exhaled smoke into Richie’s mouth. Richie breathed the smoke in and held it for a moment himself before pulling away from the kiss and breathing the smoke out into the cool midnight air.

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” Richie laughed, leaning back.

“I'm glad I could help you fulfill your dreams, Rich.” Matt handed the joint back to Richie and he took an actual hit. “Can we talk about something?”

Richie exhaled smoke before asking, “What do you want to talk about?”

“I guess I want to know what we’re doing here.”

“Well, my friends and I would always hang out here when we were—”

“Not where we’re sitting Richie, I mean where is our relationship going?” Richie laughed at the misunderstanding, before Matt spoke again. “Do you want to be _together_ or are we just like friends with benefits or something?”

“Oh. Well, I don’t really know. I guess we could be—” Richie held his fingers up in air quotes. “ _together._ ”

“So you want to, like, be dating?”

“Sure.”

“Ok, cool. I guess something else we need to talk about is what you’re into and what you’re ready for. We both know now that you aren’t ready to go all the way.”

Richie felt himself blush, much to his discontent. “I guess I would just rather take it one step at a time? I don’t know. It just felt like we were going way too fast.”

Matthew nodded. “That makes sense.” He stopped to think for a moment. “Would you be okay if I sucked your dick?”

Richie lifted his eyebrows. “Like, right now?”

“If you want me to, sure. You’re incredibly hot, Richie. I just want you in some way or another.”

“Fuck, say no more.” He pressed the joint into the wet grass and leaned in towards Matt to kiss him. Matt moved slowly and methodically now, instead of how quickly he moved before. It was clear to Richie that Matt was putting in a lot of effort to make sure Richie was comfortable with what he was doing. He gently caressed Richie’s thigh, and Richie slid his hand around to Matt’s waist. Matt shifted onto his knees and Richie pulled him up onto his lap. Richie rested his back against the tree as Matt started to grind slowly and he dropped his head onto Richie’s shoulder.

“Is this okay?” Matt whispered.

“It’s fucking amazing.”

Matt smiled, and started rocking back and forth a tiny bit faster. Richie found his hands on Matt’s hips, thoughtlessly guiding him. Matt smiled to himself when he felt Richie getting hard under him. Matt started kissing Richie’s neck while Richie’s hands wandered onto Matt’s ass. Matt started sucking and biting at the skin on Richie’s neck and it only turned Richie on more. He thought about his friends seeing a hickey on his neck. He thought about Eddie’s reaction. His mind lingered on the thought of Eddie and he felt himself get harder. _Jesus Christ, Richie, stop thinking about him like that._

Matt stood up suddenly and pulled Richie to his feet. “What are you—” Matt dropped to his knees. A smirk fell across Richie’s lips. “Oh, right.”

As he unzipped Richie’s jeans he looked up at him. “Still okay?”

“Absolutely.”

Matt pulled Richie’s jeans down halfway down his legs and revealed black boxer briefs. Matt touched Richie’s erection through the fabric and Richie moaned involuntarily. Matt glanced up and met Richie’s eyes before placing his pointer finger on his lips, making a 'shh' noise, and winking. He tugged at the fabric of his underwear, and pulled them down just enough to pull out Richie’s dick.

He made eye contact with Richie as he licked his palm and started stroking him. Richie held his mouth closed to avoid making noise. He was leaning against the tree but at this point he rolled his head back against it as well. Matt leaned in and took Richie into his mouth, pulling back and licking up and down the side of his dick, before taking it back into his mouth. He used his hand to stroke the base where he couldn’t reach with his mouth.

“Fuck,” Richie whispered, tangling his fingers in Matt’s hair. He closed his eyes and he couldn’t help himself from imagining he was with Eddie instead of Matt. Imagining it made Richie feel _so_ good. He gripped Matt’s hair tighter and felt himself nearing the edge. “I’m gonna—” He made a conscious effort to be quiet through his orgasm so that no one would hear them. Matt kept sucking as Richie came, and swallowed around his dick. Richie stifled a moan as he came down from his orgasm, and Matt stroked him slowly until Richie regained his composure. Catching his breath back, Richie opened his eyes and smirked to see Matt wiping his mouth. Matt looked up at him and smiled cheekily.

Richie pulled his pants back up and Matt stood up. He pushed Richie against the tree lightly and kissed him passionately. Richie’s hands landed on his waist and his jawline. All of a sudden, guilt crashed over Richie with the realization that he thought about Eddie in the moments right before he climaxed. He pulled away from the kiss with Matt. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. We should go, though. Back to your place?” Richie smiled weakly, trying desperately to act like nothing was bothering him.

“Sure. You can sleep over if you want.”

Richie nodded. He did account for the idea of staying over at Matt’s, as he brought a set of pyjamas with him. He leaned over to pick up his backpack and the two walked back to Matt’s house. 

 

Once they laid down, Matt dozed off pretty quickly. They were sharing Matt’s twin bed and had been spooning when they initially laid down, but since Matt had fallen asleep, Richie rolled over and was now lying on his back staring at the ceiling. It felt so inexplicably wrong that he was with Matt, and Richie couldn’t explain it. He was trying to hard to forget about his feelings for Eddie. He couldn’t understand why he was still feeling this way when he should have feelings for Matt. He was attractive, had a great personality, and most importantly he was romantically interested in Richie, whereas Eddie wasn’t.

He was frustrated that he had to force his feelings for Matt. He didn’t see why he should have to. It should be coming naturally. When he looked over at Matt sleeping next to him, he didn’t get butterflies in his stomach. He didn’t feel anything. But the mere thought of sleeping next to Eddie made his heart race. He felt immensely guilty and as though he was in some way lying to Matt. Matt was clearly really into him, and he couldn’t imagine what he would think if he found out how Richie was really feeling.

His troubling thoughts kept him up for half of the night, until he finally rolled over away from Matt, squeezed his eyes shut, and willed himself to sleep.

When he awoke, Matt was still asleep. He could see a sliver of pink sunlight through the curtains of Matt’s window. The clock on his bedside table read 6:32 am. Richie just wanted to leave. He gently shook Matt’s arm and told him that he had to go home. Matt stirred and mumbled something along the lines of ‘ok.’ Richie leaned in and kissed his cheek before standing up and changing back into his jeans. He picked his jacket up off of the floor and pulled it on. To his relief, Matt’s parents were still sleeping and he was able to avoid any interaction with them. He slipped out the front door and started walking briskly towards his house.

Richie noticed how beautiful the sunrise was. _A new day_ , he concluded, jamming his fists into the pockets of his jacket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that probably wasn't the smut anyone even remotely wanted but it's important for the plot ok i swear i will get to what everyone's here for eventually ok
> 
> also i'm curious what you guys imagine high school age reddie to look like? personally, i see richie as ezra miller (mainly just because of patrick from perks bc you can't watch that movie and tell me that patrick is not _literally_ high school richie) and i see eddie as a mixture of timothee chalamet and troye sivan. if u guys have different ideas of what they would look like let's chat about it in the comments. ok cool bye


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as he got home, Richie called Eddie. He desperately wanted to see him. Richie invited him over to his place, considering that Eddie’s mom didn’t let any of his friends come over and if Eddie wanted to hang out with any of the Losers, he had to lie about where he was going.

Eddie did exactly that. He told his mom that he was going to the library to study for the day. She didn’t question it, and he left to go to Richie’s.

He rode his bike over to Richie’s house and let himself in. His parents weren’t even home. Eddie looked around and didn’t see anyone. “Richie?”

Even though Eddie didn’t know it, Richie cleaned his house regularly so that Eddie would feel comfortable coming over. His parents rarely cleaned anything, and their house was usually a complete mess, but Richie would always clean it up for Eddie. Eddie had no idea that Richie’s parents were as messy as they were. As far as he knew, Richie’s family was clean and orderly.

Richie appeared at the top of the staircase with a smile. “Come on up, Eds.”

He followed Richie up to his bedroom. Richie’s bedroom was dark and covered wall to wall in posters, and despite being almost immaculately clean, it smelled a little bit like weed. Eddie really didn’t mind it though. Richie was the first person he ever met that smoked it so the smell just reminded him of Richie, which was comforting if anything. He completely preferred the smell of weed over the smell of cigarettes, and he was never shy about telling Richie how much he hated the smell of cigarette smoke. And considering the health risks associated with cigarettes, Eddie constantly tried to get Richie to kick the habit. Whereas Eddie was pretty okay with Richie smoking weed, because as far as Eddie could research, it couldn’t do much to hurt a person. Not to mention that it calmed Richie down significantly, which Eddie enjoyed.

Eddie dropped his things on the floor and flopped over onto Richie’s bed. Since Richie’s birthday, he had come to terms with his feelings and was dead set on being as normal as possible with Richie. Richie had also noticed that Eddie seemed to be feeling better, but he assumed it was because he got his feelings about his mom off of his chest.

Richie laid down beside him on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Sure.”

Richie sighed. “So I had a really weird night last night. I guess Matthew and I are dating now, and I know I’m supposed to feel happy about that, but I don’t. I just feel weird. I don’t know why, and it’s really frustrating. I like him, and he likes me, but it just doesn’t feel right.”

“That’s… weird.”

“It is, right? I don’t know what to do. I feel like I don’t really have any reason to break up with him, but I also don’t feel any real desire to keep seeing him.”

“It sounds like you just don’t love him, Richie.” Richie was stunned. He didn’t really think he was supposed to love Matt so early in their relationship, but Eddie might be onto something. It really did just feel like there was nothing there. Eddie spoke again. “Don’t beat yourself up over it though.” He paused. “Unfortunately, love isn’t a choice.” Silence hung over the two of them for a while, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was just silent, both boys drowning in their own thought, but saying nothing.

When Eddie realized that none of them had spoke for a considerable amount of time, he piped up. “Was that all that was weird about last night?”

Richie didn’t say anything for a while, trying to decide if he wanted to tell Eddie about his reaction to Matt wanting to fuck him. He decided against it. “He gave me a blowjob in the forest over the Barrens.”

“Good lord, Richie.”

“You asked.”

“I wish I hadn’t.” Eddie paused. “Why were you in the forest over the Barrens?”

Richie hesitated. “We just went for a walk, smoked a little weed, and ended up there somehow.”

Eddie nodded, not really wanting to ask any further questions. The two sat in more silence, but it still wasn’t awkward. The silence between them never was. Suddenly Eddie spoke again. “Can I try it?”

Richie’s head spun, trying to understand of what Eddie was referring to. Even though he was sure it wasn’t what Eddie meant, the idea of him wanting to ‘try’ giving Richie a blowjob made his heart pound. “Try what?”

Richie held his breath, as Eddie spoke softly. “Weed.”

Releasing his breath, Richie just felt confused. “Really?”

“Yeah. I want to know what it feels like. And I’d like to do it with you, because I trust you.”

Richie’s heart melted from Eddie's words and he couldn’t help himself from smiling. “Sure, Eds, no problem.” Richie sat up, looking around his room. His eyes landed on a small glass pipe on his bedside table. He was glad that he took the time to clean it after he used it last. He stood up, opening one of his dresser drawers and pulling out a small plastic baggie full of weed. Eddie was sitting up now, watching him as he stuffed a small amount of weed into the little bowl of the pipe. Richie picked his lighter up off of his bedside table and sat back down beside Eddie on the bed.

“Ok, so, I’ll do it first and show you what to do, ok?”

Eddie nodded.

Richie held the pipe up to his lips and leaned forward so Eddie could see what he was doing. “So you want to light the weed and suck on the pipe, but not like you would suck water out of a straw, you really just want to breathe it in. But you want to breathe as deep as you can. Then you’re gonna hold it for a couple seconds before you exhale. And that’s it.”

Richie demonstrated, lighting the pipe and breathing in, and holding it before breathing out. He exhaled slowly, and the smoke curled out from around his lips. He smiled at Eddie’s utter fascination. Eddie was really only thinking about how hot Richie looked with his lips parted like that.

Richie thought about how he shotgunned with Matt last night, and he suddenly really wanted to do it with Eddie, but he knew it was crossing a line. He handed the pipe to Eddie. “I can light it for you, or you can do it. It’s tricky to not burn your finger.”

“I’d rather you do it.”

Richie nodded. Eddie held the pipe to his lips, not even caring that Richie’s lips were just on it. In fact, he relished it. Richie held the lighter up. “I’ll tell you when to breathe in, ok?” He flicked the lighter, and the flame appeared, immediately burning some of the weed. “Ok, go ahead and breathe in.”

Eddie took a deep breath in. A burning sensation filled his throat and windpipe, and it was not pleasant, but also not unbearable. He followed Richie’s instructions and held it for a few seconds, before Richie gave him an encouraging nod and he breathed the smoke out.

“How do you feel?”

“Good.” Eddie gave Richie a small closed mouthed smile. “Can we play Sonic?”

The two ended up in Richie’s basement where the Sega was set up. A small couch sat in front of the television, and the two boys now sat together on it. Richie held the controller, and was setting up a game of Sonic on the game console. Eddie sat leaned back in the couch. He felt dizzy, but it didn’t feel bad like the other times he’s ever felt dizzy. It just felt good.

“I think I can feel my blood.”

The remark caught Richie off guard and he snorted before he tried to hide his laughter.

“Richie, I’m serious, I can feel my blood and my bones and my, like, nerves or something.”

“You’re just high, Eddie.”

“Am I?”

“Probably, yeah. That tends to happen when you smoke weed.”

Eddie pondered the thought for a second before nodding in acceptance. Eddie had made sure that Richie brought the pipe downstairs with him as the bowl still had more weed in it, and he wasn’t sure if he was going to want to do it again. Even though Richie would have brought it with them regardless. Richie took another hit from it.

“Do you want to play first?”

Eddie shook his head. Richie started the game.

At some point, Eddie rolled over and rested his head on Richie’s thigh. Richie tried not to notice, concentrating on the game. He glanced down, against his better judgement, and Eddie’s eyes were closed. He was so pretty. When Richie’s eyes flickered back to the TV screen, Eddie spoke softly. “It feels so good, Rich.”

That string of words coming from Eddie’s mouth made Richie feel things. He cursed his wild imagination as he felt the fabric of his jeans become tighter. _Fuck._

Richie tried to forget about Eddie and focused on the game. He couldn’t dismiss the fact that Eddie’s head was so close to his crotch, and after lots of attempts, he realized he couldn’t get rid of the boner in his jeans. He didn’t want to get up and move Eddie’s head but he also didn’t want Eddie to suddenly get up in case he sees it.

He decided on getting up and lifted Eddie’s head up and slipped out from under him. He tried to be subtle in his walk to the bathroom.

Eddie sat up, dazed. “Where are you going?”

“Pee.” Richie said, without turning around. He slipped into the bathroom and locked the door.

Eddie laid back down on the couch and stared up through half-lidded eyes. He felt nothing short of euphoria. He was content and relaxed as his body tingled ever-so-slightly. He laid there enjoying his high while Richie jerked off a mere ten feet away. Even though he would hate to admit it, when he thought of Eddie, he could get off pretty quickly. He came into some toilet paper and flushed it down the toilet. Slightly ashamed at himself, he stared at the reflection in the mirror. He shook his head. _You have a boyfriend now and you’re still thinking of your best friend while you jack off, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?_

He splashed some cold water in his face and wiped his face off with a towel.

As he walked out, Eddie giggled. “I thought maybe you fell in.”

Richie blushed furiously and he was glad that Eddie was still lying on his back and wasn’t looking at him. Feeling the heat fade from his face, he leaned over the back of the couch so that he was face to face with Eddie. “Just making sure to wash my hands extra good for you.” He ruffled up Eddie’s hair with his fingers and Eddie smiled sheepishly.

“That’s sweet of you.”

Richie realized that he really loved how affectionate Eddie became once he was relaxed. He figured that he had probably never even seen Eddie completely relaxed before. There was always one thing or another making him anxious. Seeing him like this wasn’t doing anything helpful for Richie in his pursuit of breaking his crush on him. He thought about Matt, and suddenly felt guilty again. He walked around the couch and sat back down next to Eddie. He lifted Eddie’s head gently before slipping into the spot he was in before.

Eddie’s eyes were closed again but he smiled at the gesture. He nuzzled into Richie to get comfortable again. Richie couldn’t help but acknowledge how _fucking_ cute it was. He started the game again, and the two sat in the same position for what must have been another two hours. Eddie had fallen asleep and was snoring almost noiselessly. Richie continued with the game, glancing down every so often because the image of Eddie sleeping on him was so perfect that he wanted to keep it in his memory forever.

After a while, Eddie stirred, before blinking awake. He was immediately back to his typical worried self, sitting up quickly. “What time is it? My mom thinks I’m at the library.”

“It’s only 3,” Richie said, setting the controller down.

“I should probably go.” Eddie stood up. Richie stood up with him and they went upstairs to retrieve Eddie’s stuff.

When they stood at the front door, Eddie had a powerful urge to kiss Richie goodbye, but he forced it away. When Eddie walked out, Richie closed the door and leaned up against it. Before he had any time to think, the phone started ringing.

“Tozier residence,” he said when he answered it.

“Is this Richie?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, it’s Matt. I know you said you’d call me, but I couldn’t wait any longer. Do you want to hang out tonight?”

“Oh, I’m really sorry, Matt, but I have some homework that I need to do for tomorrow morning. How about we hang out tomorrow after school?”

“That’s ok. Tomorrow works for me. I’ll see you then, I guess.”

“Ok. Bye.”

“Bye.”

The conversation felt awkward to Richie for some reason. Possibly because he lied about having homework. Richie had never done homework in his life. But Matt didn’t know that. He really felt bad about lying but he just needed some time alone. He spent the rest of the Sunday night listening to music, getting high, and playing Sonic.

 

The next day, Richie went to his classes and hung out with the Losers between them. Stan and Mike still had the touchy-feely nature of a new couple. Ben and Bev still had the banter and deep love of an old married couple. Bill was still seeing Alison, but the Losers really hadn’t seen much of her since Richie’s birthday. Richie supposed that they hadn’t seen much of Matt since his birthday either. Maybe it was for the best.

When the end of the day rolled around, Richie made his way to Matt’s locker. He hid behind the door while Matt reached inside. Matt jumped when he slammed the door shut and saw Richie.

Richie laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to actually scare you.”

Matt smiled. “It’s ok. It was a good surprise.” He pulled Richie’s chin down towards him and placed a kiss on his lips.

“You ready to go?”

Richie nodded, and the two left the school together en route to Richie’s house. They walked down Neibolt Street, and when passing the 29th house, Richie didn’t even look up. It didn’t mean anything to him anymore. His memories of that time had completely faded. It was just an old abandoned house to him now.

His memories of his childhood were patchy. He had solid memories of his younger days with Bill, Stan, and Eddie. They had been in school together since kindergarten and had always been great friends. He only vaguely remembered when he met Mike, Ben, and Beverly. He was pretty sure that he met them in the summertime? Or was it winter? He couldn’t quite remember, but he didn’t really question it.

After some time of silence, when Matt realized that Richie was lost in thought, he spoke. “Were you born in Derry, Rich?”

“What? Oh, yeah, I was. I’ve lived in the same house my entire life.”

“Wow, that’s pretty lucky. My parents move a lot because of work. I moved here in the summer of ’91. It sucks having to make new friends in every new place you live.”

“I bet. But once senior year is over you can kind of stay wherever you want to, right? Like if your parents leave again you don’t necessarily have to go with them.”

“That’s true. I guess you’re stuck with me.” Matt laughed.

Richie cringed. He didn’t mean it like that at all. He was just trying to make conversation. He was actually considering breaking up with Matthew, because the guilt he was feeling was becoming a little too much. He really took Eddie’s words into consideration. He figured that maybe he was right. If he really didn’t feel anything for Matthew, he wondered if it was worth the time and effort. He dreaded having that conversation with Matthew, though.

They arrived at Richie’s house. His parents were home now. Richie didn’t really feel like introducing them to Matt, but Matt insisted. Richie introduced them, and his parents seemed unenthused. Richie was sure Matt was disappointed in the interaction, but it wasn’t for Richie’s lack of warning.

They went up to Richie’s room and chilled out for a while. Richie found it to be pretty boring. Matthew chattered endlessly about comic books, and Richie struggled to stay awake. Desperately yearning for something more interesting than his current conversation, Richie stood up and declared that he needed to have a shower.

“Can I come?” Matthew asked softly.

Richie thought about it, and decided that it could be fun. “Sure.”

The duo ended up in the bathroom, stripping in front of each other. Richie was intrigued with the realization that Matt’s dick was slightly smaller than his own. He was seeing it for the first time, which he also realized. He never really had much of a desire to see it, though.

They stepped into the warm water of the shower and Richie started washing his hair. “Richie, seriously?”

Richie turned around to look at Matt, shampoo suds dripping from his hair. “What?”

“We’re in the shower together and you’re washing your fucking hair?”

“What else am I supposed to do? I need to wash my hair.”

Matt rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Richie, touching his wet body slowly. It did turn Richie on a little, admittedly. He rinsed the suds out of his hair and turned back to Matt, kissing him. They pressed their naked bodies together. Richie felt Matt’s dick get hard against his wet skin, and as they made out, Richie got hard, too.

Matt reached his hand forward and touched Richie’s dick, stroking it slowly. Richie followed his lead, doing the same. They followed the same rhythm, and still kissed intensely. They held the back of each other’s necks with their opposite hands.

Richie settled on the fact that Matt just wasn’t doing it for him, for whatever reason. Thinking about him didn’t really turn him on at all, and he was sure the only reason he could even get it up when he was with Matt was because of the contact and the sheer fact that he was a horny teenager. He made up his mind that he was going to break up with Matt. Although, this revelation was kind of a mood killer, considering that they were still standing in the shower jerking each other off.

Richie’s face was now buried in Matt’s shoulder. He kind of just wanted it to be over at this point. So he did what he thought might be a good idea. He imagined he was with Eddie instead of Matt. The morality of it didn’t bother Richie too much anymore, because he was confident that soon after tonight he would break up with Matt. He just had to get through tonight.

Thinking of Eddie did what it usually did to Richie, and he quickly approached his climax. He held tightly onto Matt as he fell over the edge, and at this point, Richie made a crucial mistake. Right beside Matt’s ear, he quietly and thoughtlessly moaned: “Oh, fuck, _Eddie_.”

Matt was suddenly two steps away from Richie. Richie finished his orgasm, streaming white ribbons onto the floor of the bathtub. When he came to his senses, he looked up, and tears were forming in Matt’s eyes.

His voice shook as he spoke. “What the fuck did you just say?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weeee things are picking up also i'm on a roll here i'm writing a chapter like every other day goddamn


	6. Chapter 6

Richie recounted the last few moments in stunned silence.

“What the fuck, Richie?” Matt had tears streaming down his face. When Richie said nothing, Matt stepped out of the shower and pulled a towel around himself and picked up his clothes. He ran out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Richie was at a loss for words. He leaned against the wall of the shower stall. He couldn’t think of anything to say to Matt. So he just stood there, with the warm water still spraying against him.

Matt opened the bathroom door, now fully clothed. “You’re not even going to come after me? What, you have nothing to say now? You’re a fucking asshole, Richie.” The words stung. He slammed the bathroom door shut, and just like that he was gone.

Richie rubbed his face with his hands, still in disbelief at what just happened. He couldn’t bring himself to go after Matt. He couldn’t bring himself to move at all. He just stood there. The guilt he felt towards Matthew had now increased ten fold. He was such a nice guy. He didn’t deserve that. Richie could hardly muster the courage to break up with him because he didn’t want to hurt him. That ship had clearly sailed. Imagining how that made Matt feel made Richie feel physically sick. He really didn’t want to hurt Matt. Somehow he went past hurting him and instead, fucking destroyed him. Richie put his face in the water of the shower. He couldn’t even cry. Guilt crushed his heart and soul, and he just stood there with the water washing over him.

After a long time of just standing in the shower, he reached forward and turned the water off. He moved slowly, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around himself. He went into his room and put clothes on and sat on the edge of his bed for a while.

Going downstairs, he picked up the phone. He dialled a number and held it up to his ear.

After three rings, an answer. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Beverly?”

“Yeah.”

“Hi, Bev, it’s Richie.”

“Oh, hey Rich, what’s up?”

“Can you meet me somewhere? I really need to talk.”

“Uh, yeah, sure, do you want to come over to my place?”

“Just meet me at the Barrens.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, I’ll just grab my stuff.”

“Thanks, Bev.”

“No problem, see you soon, Richie.”

When he heard the click of Bev hanging up, he placed the phone back on it’s base. He spun around and exited the house.

Feeling the cool air on his face was refreshing. The sun was setting on the horizon. He didn’t need to think about where he was walking, but thinking about Matt made his heart ache, and thinking about Eddie was worse. So he tried to clear his mind and watched the concrete pass under his feet, looking up every so often when he had to cross the street. He approached the Barrens, and walked down the trail beside the bridge. A couple years ago,The Losers had spent an entire day moving a giant 6 foot long log down to the Barrens so that it sat in front of the creek. He sat on it, now, and dropped his head into his hands. Tears came now, soaking Richie’s face and hands.

“Richie?”

He looked up and turned his head to see Bev walking towards him, but when she saw Richie’s face she started jogging. Richie stood up and she connected with him in a tight hug.

“What happened, Rich?”

As Richie tried to tell her, he broke down into a sob. Bev held him tightly, patting his back. He cried for a while before regaining his ability to speak. “I… I did something really terrible, Bev.”

“I have a shovel at my aunt’s house, just tell me where the body is.” She was joking, but she said it with a complete straight face and there was a hint of truth in her words. If Richie had actually killed someone she would have helped him in a heartbeat.

Richie laughed softly through his tears. “It’s not that bad, Bev, but thanks for the offer.”

He sat back down on the log and Bev followed him, sitting down beside him. She reached out and took his hand, not prying any further for Richie to explain. She let him tell her when he was ready.

After a couple moments of Richie organizing his thoughts, he spoke. “I was with Matthew, and we were in the shower,” Richie paused. “Sorry for the incoming explicit detail, but we were giving each other hand jobs, and…” Richie looked like the words were causing him physical pain. He took a deep breath. “When I came, I… I said Eddie’s name.” Richie dropped his head into his hands again as more tears began to flow.

Bev was speechless. She covered her mouth with one hand and rubbed Richie’s back with the other. She thought of Eddie and the conversations they’d had about Richie. She wondered if Richie actually had feelings for Eddie or if it was a sort of Freudian slip. She wondered if Richie planned on continuing to see Matt. “Did you talk to him?”

Richie sobbed and shook his head. “He… ran out, and I didn’t say a word.” Richie sobbed again.

Bev started to think that it might have been easier if Richie had killed someone. What Richie did was cold, and Bev couldn’t dispute that fact. She didn’t say it to Richie though, knowing that he clearly recognizes what he did was really fucked up.

“I would give him some time. Like a lot of time. But if he has real feelings for you, you might be able to get him back with an expertly worded apology.”

Richie shook his head. “I don’t want to get him back, Bev, that’s the thing.”

“Oh. Well… you should still apologize to him. But if you don’t want to see him anymore that makes things easier." She paused for a moment. "Can I ask why? I thought you guys were super into each other.”

Richie hesitated for a moment. He found no harm in telling Bev about how he really felt. “I don’t love him, Bev. And it's not for a lack of trying. But there's nothing there. And let’s just say that it was no fluke that I whispered Eddie’s name.”

“You have feelings for Eddie?”

“I’d say so, yeah.” Richie contemplated the burning crush he’d had on Eddie for the last couple years. _Understatement of the year,_ he thought.

Bev weighed her options. She was the gateway between Richie and Eddie. She knew about Eddie’s feelings for Richie, and now she knew that Richie had feelings for Eddie in return. Would betraying Eddie’s trust be worth it if they end up together? He might be thankful, but he also might be furious. She sighed.

“I don’t know what to do now, Bev. Matt had feelings for me, but I didn’t have them back, and I have feelings for Eddie, but I don’t think he has any for me.”

 _Fuck it,_ she thought. “Well, actually…”

Richie quickly looked up at Bev. “Are you gonna say what I think you’re gonna say?”

“Maybe…” Richie looked at her hopefully, and she sighed. “He does, Richie. He has a lot of feelings for you. I really can’t believe you couldn’t see it. When you met Matthew on your birthday and started seeing him more, Eddie was devastated. You wondered why he was acting so strange, but you never put two and two together.”

Richie was freaking out at this point. “He told me that his mom was really getting to him.”

“It was a lie, Richie. You’re familiar with those, surely. He was too scared to tell you because he was worried that you would think it was weird and that it would somehow break up the entire Losers’ club.”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe this.”

“Listen Richie, he told me all of this in complete confidence and I only told you because I really believe that it’s for the best for you two, okay? But I’m sure he would be crushed if he found out I told you.”

“I won’t tell him. I’ll just tell him how I really feel and act like I’m just taking the risk.”

“Good.” Richie pulled Bev into a hug. She squeezed him for a moment before pulling away. “But you need to promise me something, Rich.”

“What?”

“You have to apologize to Matt before you talk to Eddie. Otherwise you’ll still feel guilty about it, and your relationship with Eddie will suffer.”

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. I’ll go today to see him.”

“Richie, no. He’s probably absolutely heartbroken. He needs time to heal from this.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know how long exactly. Just to be safe, give it a month.”

“A month? Jesus, Bev, how do you expect me to wait that long to talk to Eddie?”

“You’re strong, Richie, I believe in you.” She smiled and touched the side of his face. “It’s for the best.”

Richie sighed. “Do you want to go get something to eat?”

“Sure.” Bev smiled.

 

The next month was the slowest and most emotionally sporadic month of Richie’s life. He got the joy of playfully flirting with Eddie again, and watching Eddie try to hide his blush from Richie. In retrospect, Richie couldn’t believe that he didn’t see it until Bev told him. When he told Eddie that he and Matthew broke up, he watched Eddie try to act sympathetic while Richie could see the absolute delight brimming in Eddie’s eyes. While flirting with him and and watching his reactions was like crack for Richie now that he knew the truth, he also desperately wanted to pour his feelings out to Eddie. Keeping it bottled up was a struggle for him, but he did end up keeping his promise to Bev. The Losers always kept their promises.

A month after the incident, down to the day, Richie planned on showing up at Matt’s house after school. He was pretty nervous, because he didn’t know how Matt would react to an apology. The couple times he had seen Matt at school over the last month, he was usually walking in the halls with Eddie, and he would catch Matt’s rage-filled gaze before Matt would notice that Richie was looking at him and turn away. Richie felt the pain in his stare, and it brought the shame back in full force.

Now, he was standing on Matt’s doorstep with his heart on his sleeve. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

After a couple seconds passed, Matt’s dad opened the door, and his face immediately formed into a frown. “What on God’s green earth are you doing here, Tozier? You break things off with my son with no explanation and then try to come back and—”

“Dad.” Matt appeared behind his dad. “It’s fine. I got this.”

His dad glanced at Richie, and back at Matt, and shot him an apprehensive look. When Matt gave him an assuring gaze back, he obeyed, disappearing back into the house.

Matt stood at the door with no discernible expression on his face. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I just wanted you to know that I’m really sorry. It was a total accident, and I would never intentionally hurt you like that. I know nothing I can say can take it back, and I accept that, but I just needed to tell you that I’m sorry.”

Richie expected the worst, but Matt was calm. “Thank you for apologizing. That being said, I don’t think you and I can ever have a relationship again.” _Obviously,_ Richie thought to himself.

“I understand that. Thanks for letting me apologize.”

“You’re welcome. Uh… good luck in your endeavours, Richie.”

“Thanks, Matt.”

With a slight nod, Matt turned around and closed the door. _That went surprisingly well,_ he thought, spinning around on his heels and walking down the front steps of Matt’s house. He wondered what would have happened if he didn’t take Bev’s advice to wait it out. Remembering how Matt’s dad acted, he silently thanked Bev for being a solid and consistent voice of reason for the Losers.

As he walked back to his house, he was suddenly flooded with childlike glee. He had lived up to Bev’s promise and he was free to talk to Eddie now. He wanted to walk right over Eddie’s house and declare his love for him, but remembered his psychopathic mother.  _Why does she have to be so crazy?_ With this, he walked back to his own house like he had originally planned and upon arriving, he picked up the phone and called Eddie.

A woman’s voice answered. “Hello?”

Putting on a crude voice impression, Richie spoke. “Ah, hello, is this Mrs. Kaspbrak? This is Lenny from Eddie’s chem class. Could I speak to him? I could use his help on a homework question.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” _Two-faced bitch,_ Richie thought. He heard her shout for ‘Eddie-bear’ muffled through her hand, presumably.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Eddie-bear.”

“Fuck off, Richie,” Eddie hissed quietly into the phone.

“Oh come on, Eds, I’m just joking around. Are you doing anything right now?”

“Not really.”

“Do you wanna come over? Just say that you’re helping Lenny with his homework," Richie chuckled.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“Possibly. Are you gonna come over, though?”

“Fine.”

Richie couldn’t express with words how much he loved having the upper hand over Eddie. He played along with Eddie’s charade of constantly being annoyed by him, but actually knowing that it was an act filled Richie with genuine giddiness. He could easily see the effort Eddie had to put in to keep it up, and Richie found great joy in it.

“See you soon, Eds.”

“Mhm.” The phone clicked as Eddie hung up.

Richie tidied up the house a little while he waited for Eddie. His parents left a bunch of messes, as per usual.

Eddie showed up pretty quickly, as Richie had finished up cleaning. The two went up to Richie’s room and sat down on the bed. They made small talk for a while before Richie got to what was really on his mind.

“So Eddie…”

Eddie looked up and locked eyes with Richie. There was a sadness and concern in Eddie’s eyes that made Richie’s heart hurt. The realization that Eddie had been holding onto this sadness since his birthday made Richie feel incredibly disappointed in himself. He should have seen it earlier. He should have ended things with Matthew before they ever really started. He should have been honest with Eddie from the beginning.

“What?” Eddie said, pulling Richie out of his thoughts. He was looking at Richie nervously, since he went quiet. Richie was seldom quiet.

“Um, I guess I have something to tell you.” Richie didn’t understand why it was suddenly so hard to say. He was so excited to tell him, but now he was really nervous.

“Okay… go ahead.”

“I like you, Eddie. Like… in a more than friends type of way.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped. He scanned Richie’s face with his eyes, searching for some kind of evidence to tell him it was a joke. “You’re kidding. Are you kidding? Are you fucking messing with me, Richie, I swear to God—”

Richie shook his head. “I'm completely serious. I’m fucking crazy about you. Have been for a long time.” A smile crept onto Richie’s face as he came to the realization that his confession was finally out in the open.

Fuelled by complete and utter desire, Eddie pulled Richie’s face towards him and kissed him. Richie felt what he could only describe as fireworks going off in his chest. He held the side of Eddie's face. He didn’t even realize how long he had waited for this moment until right now. Eddie wanted so desperately to keep kissing Richie, but he pulled himself away. His heart was beating so fast he thought he might be dying.

Richie couldn’t hide his dopey grin. “So that’s what it’s supposed to feel like.”

“I can’t believe I just kissed you,” Eddie said, while Richie was still grinning. “I can’t believe after all of that, you actually feel the same way. I was so upset, Richie. Seeing you with Matt all the time, listening to you talk about him. It broke my fucking heart.”

“I’m so sorry, Eds.” Richie touched Eddie’s face softly. “If I had known you felt the same way, I would have told you, I swear. My entire relationship with Matt crumbled because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You know how I said that I couldn’t seem to find any love for him? I think it was because you already had all of the love in my heart.”

The remark made Eddie melt, and almost reduced him to tears. He dropped into Richie’s arms. “That is the most cheesy, romantic thing I’ve ever heard and I can’t believe it came out of your mouth. Jesus Christ, I’m so in love with you.” Saying it out loud made Eddie feel overjoyed.

Richie smiled. “I’m in love with you, too, Eds.” Richie was so relieved to actually feel such intense love after trying so desperately to find it for Matthew. It all made sense to him now. “Can I kiss you again?”

Eddie laughed and sat up. “Of course.”

Richie leaned in and kissed Eddie, holding his small waist and caressing his jawline. Feeling his body under his hands made his heart flutter. He broke away from the kiss to lean his forehead against Eddie’s. “Fuck, I really love you, Eddie.”

“I love you, too, Richie.” Eddie kissed him again. His hands were holding Richie’s shoulders. He parted his lips slightly, turning his head and kissing Richie deeply. Richie took the hint and parted his own lips, and it felt like nothing he had ever experienced. It had never occurred to Richie that ‘tasting Eddie’ was something worth dreaming about, because quite frankly it sounded kind of gross, and he had no idea that it would feel so _good._

He caressed Eddie’s body like he was origami. He almost felt like touching him to hard might bruise him.

To Richie’s surprise, Eddie climbed up onto Richie’s lap, pressing himself against Richie’s body. The pleasure Richie felt was almost unbearable and he had to disconnect from Eddie’s lips.

“Listen, Eds, I know you’re probably really enjoying this right now, and I hate to stop that for you, but we need to stop this before it gets out of hand.”

Eddie looked disappointed. “What are you talking about?” Eddie was pretty naive and really didn’t have much knowledge about sex, aside from what he’d learned in school and the stuff he had picked up from being around the Losers.

“I’m sorry to break it to you, Eds, but you’re fucking hot.” Eddie blushed deeply, turning his head to the side, still conditioned to hide his embarrassment from Richie. Richie reached up and touched his chin, turning him back to face him. He gave him a quick peck, and Eddie’s smile returned. “For my sake, we gotta quit while we’re ahead.”

Eddie got up off of Richie, much to his dismay.

“So, aside from making out, what do you want to do?”

“Can we get high?”

Richie stole another kiss from Eddie. Giving him quick kisses was sure to become a new hobby of Richie’s. “Of course we can.”

After smoking a little bit and kissing a little bit more, they ended up laying on Richie’s bed, curled up in each other. Richie held Eddie, while Eddie nuzzled into his chest. They whispered quietly to each other.

“You smell so good,” Eddie said softly.

“Thanks,” Richie giggled quietly. Eddie was usually chastising him for smelling like cigarettes, so the change in opinion was refreshing.

“I love you," Eddie whispered.

“I love you, too.”

Eddie smiled to himself. He was so happy. In the truest sense of the word. From being so upset, he did a complete 180 and was now the happiest he had ever been. Richie felt the same way, too. After apologizing to Matt, the guilt had lifted off of his shoulders and now as he cuddled with Eddie, he was filled with pure bliss. They stayed wrapped up together until the sun went down. It was a Friday night, and they intended to spend the entire weekend together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which eddie and richie literally cannot stop saying "i love you" to each other.
> 
> also i know this may kind of seem like the ending for this fic but worry not, it will continue. expect lots of reddie fluff and probably some smut. also i hate writing angst so i probably won't write a whole lot of it, sorry to those of you like it. if you guys have any constructive criticism or suggestions for what you'd like to see feel free to leave them below, as always. thanks for all the nice comments y'all have been leaving <3 it means a lot


	7. Chapter 7

White sunlight peeked into Richie’s bedroom through the sides of his thick black curtains. Richie’s window was cracked open, allowing fresh air and the gentle sounds of birds into the room. Richie woke up with Eddie still in his arms, much to his delight. The small boy was still asleep, snoring softly, cuddled into Richie’s chest. He thought about the night before. Eddie’s reaction to Richie confessing his love for him. Eddie kissing him. Eddie sitting in his lap, kissing him deeper and pressing his body to his. He smiled to himself, as he could only imagine what the future could hold.

He recalled getting high with Eddie last night, too. Richie was honestly surprised that Eddie enjoyed smoking as much as he did. In fact, he was usually the one that brought it up. Richie supposed that Eddie must find solace in the brief relaxation that it provided. Out of all of the Losers, Eddie was probably the most tightly wound, Stan taking a close second. If there was anything that could relieve Eddie’s stress, Richie was sure that he would go to the ends of the earth to give it to him. It just so happened that it was something that Richie had an abundance of, which made it very easy.

After smoking, they talked for a little while. They got on the topic of Richie’s birthday, which Eddie was shy about.

“Trust me on this, Eds, if I had known then what I know now, I would have been kissing you in Beverly’s room instead of Matt.”

A faint blush crept onto Eddie’s face. “You know, I only played spin the bottle because I had a chance to kiss you.”

“I did have my suspicions,” Richie smirked.

“It never even happened, though. I was so annoyed.”

“How come you played spin the bottle but not truth or dare?”

“Do you really need to ask? Lord only knows what you would have asked me to do, Rich. Actually, if I remember correctly, as soon as we started, you went first and right away you started to ask me truth or dare. You were interrupted by someone, though, because I obviously wasn’t playing. So, in retrospect, what would you have asked me, Richie?”

Richie thought back. He honestly couldn’t remember. “I really, truly, have no clue what I would have asked you, Eds. But if I had to guess, it probably would have been something pretty tame.”

“Really? That’s not like you.”

“Well, I may have been super attracted to you, and I probably wanted to ask you to do something super fucking dirty, but even then I loved you, Eds. You were still my best friend, and I knew how many crazy boundaries you had. I wouldn’t have ever done anything to make you uncomfortable.”

“I think I may have had you pegged all wrong, Tozier.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I really love flirting with you and I loved how much you blushed and tried to hide it, because it was fucking adorable. But forcing you to do something with me that you may not have been ready for in a social situation like that, that’s just fucked up. I’d never do anything like that to you.”

“I had no fucking idea how thoughtful and considerate you are, Richie. Genuinely.”

“So it was my rock hard body and charming sense of humour that you fell in love with? Noted.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, and tried to hold back a smile. Looking back up at Richie, he ran his fingers along his jawline. “It was your smile, and your eyes, and your laugh that I fell in love with.” Eddie paused and placed a kiss on Richie’s lips. “The rock hard body and sense of humour were just added bonuses.” Eddie giggled.

Richie laughed with Eddie before a thought occurred to him. “Hey, speaking of my rock hard body, I vaguely remember running down the street naked that night.”

Eddie tried not to blush, and failed. “Yeah, I… uh… vaguely remember that, too.”

“Did you like what you saw?”

“Uh… I don’t know.”

Richie sensed Eddie's embarrassment, and got the feeling it was more than just shyness. “Eds, I think we need to talk about something. First of all, I want you to know that you can trust me. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“Richie, where is this going?”

“I just get the feeling that you’re uncomfortable when it comes to sex. I just want to know if that’s true.”

Eddie was slightly caught off guard, but spoke after a few seconds. “I don’t know if ‘uncomfortable’ is the right word. My mom taught me about the horrible diseases you can get from it and she said that I have to be abstinent, which I guess means not ever doing it?”

“So ‘scared to fucking death’ is more like it. I swear to God, Eds, the words I would have with your mother if I were able to.”

“Why are we talking about this, Rich?”

“Listen, Eds, if you actually want to be abstinent, that’s ok with me. Unfortunate, but I’d get over it. But if you think that you have to be because your mother told you so, I just need you to know how wrong that is. Sex is completely normal, it’s completely safe when you do it right, and it’s fucking amazing. And if you have sexual urges, don’t be ashamed of them, or feel guilty about it, ok? Everyone has them, and it’s totally normal.”

The revelation was actually pretty groundbreaking to Eddie. He did feel scared and guilty whenever he thought about sex, and even more scared if it made him hard. With this new information, curiosity overpowered him. “How does it work between two boys?”

“Sex? Well, there’s lots of different ways to do it. It’s pretty similar to the straight sex that we learned about in school, but… with different mechanisms. There’s handjobs and blowjobs, but those are pretty much the same for straight people. Where it really becomes different is the penetration.”

The word ‘penetration’ made Eddie’s face scrunch up.

Richie shrugged. “But essentially the way it works is instead of the guy putting his dick in the girl’s vagina, one of the guys will put his dick in the other guy’s asshole.”

Eddie looked stunned. “I didn’t know you could put anything in an asshole.”

“You can put lots of things in an asshole, if you believe in yourself.”

“So one guy puts his… dick… in the other guy’s asshole? What could possibly come of that, though?”

“Both guys if you do it right,” Richie laughed.

“I don’t get it.”

“Well, you said what could come of that, and both guys would cum in the best case scenario.”

“Cum?” Eddie looked confused.

Richie was shocked at Eddie’s sheer innocence. “You know, cum. Like… as in an orgasm?”

Eddie still looked confused.

“Eds, have you really never had an orgasm before? You’ve never touched yourself?” Eddie shook his head. Richie really just felt bad for him. “What do you do when you get hard?”

“I didn’t know you were supposed to do anything.”

“Holy shit, Eddie, you poor, poor misguided soul. You’ve never noticed how good it feels when you touch yourself down there?”

“I’ve never touched myself down there, Richie. It freaks me out.”

“Eds, I promise you, there is nothing to be freaked out about. There’s nothing dirty or unsafe about it.” Richie somehow answered Eddie’s unspoken questions. “It just feels really fucking good. Next time you have a boner, just experiment a little. If it feels good, keep doing it. It will feel amazing, and some white stuff will probably come out of the tip of your dick. Don’t panic, also normal. It’s just called an orgasm. The stuff that comes out is called cum, or semen if you wanna get technical.”

“You’ve done it before?”

“Yes, Eddie, more times than I can count. It’s called masturbating. Or jacking off, or jerking off, or flogging your log, or choking the chicken. Or, my personal favourite, tickling your pickle.”

“That’s what that means? You’re fucking gross, Richie.”

“I doubt you’ll find it gross once you try it.”

Eddie was quiet for a minute. “Alright, fine. What were we talking about before?”

“Sex. And how guys do it. So the guy that’s fucking is called the top and the guy that’s being fucked is called the bottom.”

“Are you the top or the bottom?”

The question caught Richie off guard. “Uh, I don’t really know to be honest, Eds. I’ve never actually had sex with a guy before.”

“Wait, you didn’t do it with Matt?”

Richie shook his head. “He wanted to, but I walked out on him. I still don’t really know why. I guess it was because I didn’t love him. I loved you instead.” Richie thought about the incident in the shower with Matt. He hadn’t told Eddie about it, and as far as Eddie knew, Richie just broke up with Matt because of his realization that he didn’t have feelings for him. He didn’t plan on telling Eddie about it, either. He was still pretty embarrassed about it.

“If I wanted to, would you do it with me?” Eddie asked quietly. Richie blushed, and Eddie savoured the role reversal. Richie nodded. Eddie felt butterflies in his stomach. “Well… is that all there is to it?”

“Pretty much.” 

“Alright, then we should go to bed. It’s getting late, and I’m sleepy.”

With that, they brushed their teeth and changed into pyjamas, and they curled up in Richie’s bed. They whispered sweet nothings to each other before Eddie fell asleep in Richie’s arms while Richie played with his hair until he, too, fell asleep.

Now, the next morning, he was awake and still snuggled next to Eddie. He cherished every second of it, as he felt Eddie’s soft breathing against his body. Suddenly, Richie’s stomach growled. Eddie moved, and Richie tried to stay still.

“Eds?” he whispered softly, to see if Eddie was awake.

“Mhm?”

“Did you hear that noise my stomach just made?”

“That was your stomach? Holy shit.”

“I think that calls for some breakfast,” Richie laughed. Eddie agreed and they ended up downstairs making pancakes. Richie’s parents were gone for the weekend, so Eddie and Richie had the house to themselves. Eddie called his mom to say he was staying at “Lenny’s” house for the weekend to help him with a project for a different class.

Richie messily poured pancake mix onto the hot pan, while Eddie sat at the kitchen table, sorting and taking pills with orange juice. 

“You know, you take as many pills as my grandfather and you’re 18 goddamn years old. You know you don’t need them, right?”

“I just take what the doctor tells me to take, Richie.”

“I’m fairly certain your mom’s giving the doctor handies under the table or paying him or some shit to make him say that, cause I have a hard time seeing a doctor prescribing 10 different medications to a healthy teenage boy.”

Eddie shrugged, downing the last pill and the last of his orange juice.

Richie flipped the pancakes, revealing a slightly charred surface. “Fuck. Literally everything I cook burns.”

“Try cooking things for less time.”

Richie shot Eddie a look, before tossing the pancakes onto the plate with the rest. He turned off the stove and placed the pancakes on the table, before retrieving syrup from the fridge.

“Do you have jam?”

“Jam? On pancakes?”

“Yeah, it’s good.”

“Uh, sure.” Richie pulled out a jar of strawberry jam from the refrigerator. He poured some more orange juice into Eddie’s glass, and poured some in his own. He sat down and started eating.

“I had a pretty crazy dream last night,” Eddie said, spreading jam across a pancake. “More of a nightmare, really.”

“What was it about?”

“All of us were there, and there was this crazy killer clown. It was horrifying. We were somewhere dark, and I couldn’t see anything but it almost felt familiar.”

“Sounds creepy. I fucking hate clowns.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not much of a fan, either. But it was chasing us and screaming ‘you’ll die if you try’… whatever that means.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah, super weird.”

Richie had already scarfed down four pancakes, and stood up to rinse off his plate. Eddie was almost done his second.

“You know, I heard that if you eat too fast you can get a stomach ulcer.”

“Who told you that?”

Eddie stood up after finishing eating to clean his plate. “I don’t remember. You should take your time, though.”

“I’m not gonna get a stomach ulcer from eating fast, Eds. Worst case scenario, I might get a cramp. But I think I can handle it. I’m pretty strong.”

“Mhm.” Eddie placed his plate on the counter and turned around, and Richie scooped him up into his arms, lifting him off his feet.

“Richie, what the fuck?”

“You didn’t sound convinced, so I felt like I had to prove it.”

“How strong you are? Okay, you’re so strong. Now can you put me down?”

Richie placed Eddie on the counter and pulled him into a kiss. Eddie was about to argue, but forgot all about it when his lips met with Richie’s. His hands instinctively landed on Richie’s jawline, and Richie held the small of Eddie’s back. His hands wandered down to just above Eddie’s ass, and Eddie pulled himself closer to Richie, not protesting Richie’s hands at all. He really loved Richie’s hands. They were much bigger than Eddie’s, and holding them made Eddie feel safe. Not to mention that his long fingers usually had at least one ring on them, and in the few fistfights he’d been in, they had worked in his favour. His hands also had a tendency to wander, and Eddie secretly loved it. Feeling his calloused fingertips touch his skin softly sent shivers down his spine.

Richie broke their kiss, and leaned into Eddie’s neck, and began to kiss and suck at the skin there. The feeling took Eddie’s breath away. If he wasn’t so distracted by how good it felt, he would have grabbed for his inhaler.

His heart dropped as he felt himself getting hard. He tried to push his hips out away from Richie, to try and avoid him noticing. Richie only pulled him in closer, slightly moving his own hips, causing friction between them. Eddie couldn’t help but realize that what Richie had said about contact ‘down there’ was completely right. It felt really good.

“F-Fuck, Richie.”

Richie stopped moving and pulled away, suddenly aware that Eddie was out of breath. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Eddie was red and flustered, and Richie glanced down at the bulge in Eddie’s shorts, and realized what was going on.

Richie laughed excitedly. “Eddie, now’s your chance.”

“Hmm?”

“You have a boner, go to the bathroom and figure things out. I’ll wait out here and listen to music or something.”

“I don’t know, Rich,” Eddie looked at the floor.

“Eddie, I won’t let you just wait it out. That’s actual torture and I won’t let you put yourself through that anymore.”

“Can you do it for me?” Eddie said quietly.

“Eds, I need to know exactly what you mean by that.”

“I mean I don’t want to touch it, can you do it for me?”

“Like a handjob?”

“I guess.”

_Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit what the fuck!?_ Richie was freaking out but trying to remain calm on the outside. “Yes, Eddie. If you want me to give you a handjob, I can absolutely do that for you.”

Eddie blushed. Richie picked him up and carried him into the living room, dropping him gently on the couch. He dropped to his knees between Eddie’s legs. He brushed his fingers up along Eddie’s thighs, and traced the hem of Eddie’s shorts with his finger. Eddie watched Richie’s lustful gaze wander all over his body, and it made him shiver in anticipation. Richie’s fingers curled around the waistband of his shorts and pulled slightly, and Eddie lifted his hips up to allow Richie to wiggle them down. Richie could see the clear outline of Eddie’s dick through his tight fitting briefs, and he ran his thumb over it. He could see the pleasure wash over Eddie’s face.

He pulled down Eddie’s underwear, and his dick popped out, hard as a rock. Richie dropped some spit into his palm and curled his fingers around Eddie’s erection. Eddie whimpered as Richie started to pump his hand slowly. A warm tingly sensation radiated through his body. He heard sounds come out of his mouth that he wasn’t trying to make. _He was so right, this feels so fucking good._

“F-Faster," Eddie managed.

Richie was happy to oblige, picking up his speed a little.

Eddie let out a moan, and he grabbed at the fabric of the couch, desperate to hold onto something. “Fuck, Richie.” Richie sped up a little more. “Richie, I feel like I’m on the edge, am I having a heart attack?”

“No, Eddie, you’re about to cum. Just let it happen.”

Richie gave him a few quick strokes and Eddie climaxed. Every muscle in his body felt like it was being electrocuted. He let out a low continuous groan, spilling cum on Richie’s hand and his shorts. Richie followed through with a couple slow strokes and Eddie dropped his head back against the couch. He felt like he could barely move.

When he regained his breath and a little bit of composure, he opened his eyes and lifted his head to see Richie lick the side of his hand. Eddie could see the white smears on his tongue.

“Are you licking my cum off of your hand? Holy shit.” Eddie found it kinda gross, but at the same time there was something hot about it.

“I’m just getting my daily protein. I’m a growin’ boy, Eds,” Richie smirked. “I doubt it will be the last time I swallow your load either, so get used to it,” he said with a wink, as he stood up and curled up beside Eddie. Eddie cuddled into Richie, trying to ignore his comments. His body felt like it was humming. All he wanted was to hold Richie. “It felt good, though, didn’t it?”

“Good is an understatement.”

“Hell yeah.” Richie kissed Eddie’s cheek. “Hey Eds, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“What’s that?”

“Will you go out with me?”

“Richie, are you serious? Does that not go without saying?”

“I wasn’t sure. But if it does: awesome.”

“Yes, Richie, it does.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a very sex-ed based chapter but i have no regrets ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for self harm in this chapter sorry but i had to do it

A couple miles out from the Hanlon farm was a hill overlooking a small lake. On the hill was a tall oak tree that Mike and his father had fastened a tire swing to when he was eight. Mike had never seen another soul out by that lake, and he had just assumed that no one else really knew of it’s existence. It was a considerable distance out from his family’s farm, which was probably just as far from Derry itself. He would ride his bike out to the lake frequently as a child to play there, until he one day just stopped going. He almost thought he could remember something about a bird, but the more he tried to cling to the memory, the faster it faded away.

He started going back to the lake when he fell in love with Stan. Stan loved visiting the farm, even before they started dating. Whenever they would hang out, Stan would usually ask to go out to the farm. Mike never declined, and he never really thought to ask why Stan enjoyed it so much. It was a significant trip in a vehicle to get there, and an even more significant trip on a bike. But Stan didn’t mind the labour intensive bike rides. He just loved going there.

Mike later found out after they started dating that Stan found an inexplicable comfort at Mike’s farm. The same comfort that he felt from Mike, but all around him from every angle. He would help Mike with his chores and Mike would always show him how to feed the chickens and collect the eggs, and feed and milk the cows. Mike would always say that Stan really didn’t have to help him, but Stan always insisted.

Afterwards, they would spend time in Mike’s bedroom in the basement, playing cards or just talking until they were called for dinner. Mike’s parents would always try to convince Stan to stay for dinner, even though it never took much convincing. Stan loved Mike’s family. They were kind and warm, and it was no mystery to Stan upon meeting them where Mike got it from. Not to mention that the food they made was to die for. And when Stan presented shy concerns about food being kosher, Mike’s dad was eager to learn about it. Stan explained almost everything he knew about kosher food, and since Mike’s family ate almost exclusively what they produced on their farm out of convenience, Mike’s dad started implementing practices of Jewish law in his slaughtering so that Stan could feel comfortable eating with them in the future. The consideration warmed Stan’s heart, and he expressed extreme gratitude to Mike’s father, knowing that the process wasn’t usually easy.

Mike’s family was Christian, but they didn’t reserve any hate or find any motivation to be hateful when it came to other religious practices. In fact, they welcomed differing outlooks and appreciated the opportunity to learn about them. Mike and Stan would talk endlessly about Stan’s religion, and Mike could listen to him for hours. He spoke passionately about it, and openly expressed the things he loved and the things he didn’t love about Judaism. After they started dating, Stan spent an entire night with Mike venting his frustration with the opinion of gay people in his religion. Much like the consensus in other religions, homosexuality was viewed as abhorrent. Mike assured Stan that his religion treated homosexuality similarly, and that opinions written in books centuries ago didn’t need to be regarded as total and irrevocable truth. Mike’s words calmed Stan. They often had that affect on him.

Sometimes after eating dinner, Mike would bring Stan out to the lake to sit in the back of his truck and watch the sun set. Mike always had a plethora of blankets stored in the cab of his truck for when they would eventually be needed. The Losers were always hitching rides with him, and the cabin only had three seats with the driver’s included. The inside seats were usually reserved for Stan and Eddie, while the rest of the Losers would sit in the bed of the truck on a blanket.

Mike would toss two or three freshly washed blankets over the cold metal of the truck bed for himself and Stan to lay on. Stan would find himself laying on Mike’s chest watching the sky illuminate with hues of orange, red, pink, and purple right in front of their eyes. Some nights they talked and talked until Mike drove Stan home, only finishing their conversations when Stan stepped out of the truck to walk up to his house. Other nights they quietly enjoyed each others company, listening to the sounds of birds and frogs and each other’s soft breathing. Sometimes Stan would see a particularly interesting bird and write about it in his notebook. He always knew the names of the interesting birds, and Mike would often wonder how he managed to remember them all.

On this particular evening in May, while laying in the bed of the truck feeling the cool late spring breeze, Stan asked Mike about the tire swing, inquiring if he knew who created it. Mike recounted the day that he and his father made it out of thick rope and a large tire, and as he told Stan the story, he had gotten up and sat on the swing and began to rock back and forth on it. The swing was tied securely on a thick branch of the oak tree, and Mike put his full trust in it as he began to swing. Stan sat on the tailgate of the truck in awe of it, Mike’s legs pumping in and out as he went back and forth, his strong arms holding the rope tightly. Mike trailed off from the story, as he closed his eyes and felt the soft wind on his face. Stan didn’t even notice that he wasn’t talking anymore. Mike slowed down, before coming to a complete stop and stepping backwards off of the tire.

“Do you wanna try?”

“What? Uh, no, not really. I’d be kind of scared that it would break.”

“Stan, don’t be silly, if it can hold my weight I’m sure it can hold yours.”

Stan hesitated. “I don’t know how to do it. I’ve never been on a tire swing before.”

“Never?”

Stan shook his head.

“Here, I’ll help you on it.”

Stan stood up and stepped forward and Mike lifted him up effortlessly, placing him on top of the tire. Mike’s ease in picking him up made Stan’s heart skip a beat.

“I’m just gonna give you a gentle push.”

Mike delivered the gentle push as per Stan’s expectations. He trusted Mike immensely. 

As Mike pushed him forward, Stan closed his eyes, feeling the wind on his face just like Mike had. Mike stepped away and instructed Stan to pump his legs like a normal swing. He followed Mike’s advice and continued swinging. It was freeing, seeing the beautiful landscape in front of him and swinging happily.

All of a sudden Stan heard a snapping sound, and Mike shout his name, and before he knew it he was tumbling to the ground. His knee stung as it scraped the ground, and he landed on his elbows, pain shooting into both of them. He looked up and Mike was holding him.

“Stan, are you okay? I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have made you do that. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m fine, really. I just scraped my knee is all.”

Mike glanced down to see beads of blood forming on the scrapes on Stan’s knee. He quickly scooped Stan up into his arms and placed him back on the tailgate of the truck, while he retrieved a small first aid kit out of the cabin. Mike was very protective over Stan. When he held him, he would sometimes run his fingers over the small jagged scars that lined his face and place gentle kisses on them, almost as if in an attempt to allow them to disappear. He knew Stan was self-conscious about the scars. Mike couldn’t for the life of him remember what happened to create the scars in the first place, but something told him not to dare ask.

Mike felt the same overwhelming protective nature when he accidentally walked in on Stan changing and noticed small jagged scars not unlike the ones on his face scattering his inner forearms. The only difference was that his arms held seemingly fresh red cuts among the scars.

The sight crushed Mike. It confirmed the suspicions that Mike already had. Tears formed almost instantaneously, as he studied Stan’s sorrowful expression. Stan's eyes were brimming with tears and fixated on the floor in front of him. Without thought, Mike pulled Stan into a hug. He felt Stan’s arms curl around him, and he could feel Stan sobbing noiselessly, as though tried to hide it. Mike held him tightly, and his tears dripped off of his face and onto Stan’s skin. He felt his heart break with the realization that he didn’t know how to protect Stan from this. Deep down, he had always known that Stan had his demons. He did everything he could not to show it, but Mike could see it sometimes when he let his guard down. He partially blamed himself for not doing something about it sooner. Imagining the pain Stan was going through made him want to scream, and he had been going through it all alone.

He pulled away from the embrace, and held Stan’s face. It was soaked with tears, and Stan looked up at him through bloodshot eyes.

He felt weak. “Stan,” Mike’s voice shook as he spoke. “Any time it gets bad I want you to call me, okay? I don’t care what time or what day it is. If you ever feel like hurting yourself,” with those words, a tear fell from Mike’s lashes. “Call me. I don’t ever want you to deal with this alone, okay?”

Stan collapsed into Mike’s arms and he sobbed freely now.

Tears still rolled down Mike’s cheeks, as he whispered to Stan. “I love you, baby, I’m so sorry you’re in pain. I’m so sorry.”

Stan couldn’t speak, he just cried, letting everything out while Mike held him tightly, whispering to him how much he loved him and how much he cared. Stan hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear it. That night Mike had sworn an oath to himself that he would do everything in his power to ease Stan's pain. As long as he lived he intended to obey it.

Now, he had to doctor up Stan’s scraped knee, which was a comparably easy feat. He cleaned the dirt and grass stains from the scrape, before spraying it with antiseptic and covering it with a bandage. The whole time he kept saying how sorry he was.

“Mike, it’s really not your fault, you couldn’t have known that the branch would break.”

“I just feel bad for convincing you to do it, when you didn’t even really want to. Especially when you were worried that it would break.”

“It’s okay, Mike, really. It was fun while it lasted.” Mike glanced up to see Stan offering him a warm smile, and the gesture reassured Mike.

The two of them climbed into the bed of the truck and cuddled together until the sun went down like they so often did.

While watching the stars, Mike played with Stan’s curls. Stan spoke after a long while. “Prom’s coming up.”

“Yeah, it is. I know there’s like an unspoken thing where you’re supposed to make a huge deal out of your prom proposal—”

“I think it’s tacky and embarrassing.”

“Oh, what a relief. I do, too.”

Stan smiled. “Sounds like we were made for each other.”

“Since we’re dating should I still ask you if you want to go to prom with me?”

“Maybe to be on the safe side, just in case I want to go with Richie instead.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Yes, Mike. I wouldn’t purposefully go anywhere with Richie.”

“So you do want to go to prom with me, right?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

Mike smiled. “Okay, good.”

He squeezed Stan lightly and Stan dropped his head down on Mike’s chest.

 

When Monday morning rolled around, Stan and Mike sat in the cafeteria with Ben and Beverly before classes started. The topic of prom dominated most conversations at the school during this time, as it was a mere month away. The Losers were no exception to this. They planned a limousine and a fancy pre-prom dinner and a girl Beverly knew was throwing an afterparty at her house, so they planned to attend that, as well.

While they were on the topic of dates, they speculated who Richie and Eddie were going to take. None of the other Losers had spoken to either of them all weekend, and Beverly was the only one that knew what was going on between them. Mike joked that they should just take each other because they were both single, and all of the other Losers were in relationships.

Bill and Alison had made it official, but Bill was pretty private when it came to his relationship. He didn’t like bringing her when all of the Losers were hanging out because he supposed she felt awkward about it. There was an undoubtable and sometimes palpable bond between the Losers. They didn’t even really understand it themselves, but adding another person to the group was like adding a drop of oil to a glass of water. Bill would usually come alone to group hangouts, and spend time with Alison separately. She didn’t seem bothered by this, considering that the assumptions Bill had were mostly correct. She did feel weird hanging out with them sometimes. It was as though they were their own entity when they were all together. It gave Alison a slight feeling of loneliness. At school, however, Alison usually tagged along wherever Bill went, and didn’t mind the short term time spent with Losers. It wasn’t as though they didn’t get along, because they did. The strange feelings that accompanied spending time with them were very subtle and usually crept up after some time. She never told Bill about this outright, but Bill knew.

Alison and Bill approached the table that Stan, Mike, Ben, and Beverly were occupying and sat down next to them. There was an unspoken rule at the Derry High School that the leftmost table with eight chairs was reserved for the Losers and no one objected to this. The Losers themselves never outwardly enforced this rule, it was just assumed after they sat at the same table for almost 4 years.

They continued to chatter about their plans for prom, including Bill and Alison in on the plans they had already discussed. Bev was slightly removed from the conversation, as she looked around subtly for Eddie and Richie. She knew that Richie was going to be talking to Eddie this weekend about his feelings for him and despite knowing both sides of the story, she was still nervous about the outcome.

Before she could get too deep into her thoughts, her eyes landed on Eddie, walking quickly and purposefully while Richie bounced beside him, laughing about something Bev couldn’t make out. She was relieved, as things seemed to be back to normal.

The two of them arrived at the table and assumed their seats, before Richie cleared his throat dramatically and linked his fingers with Eddie’s under the table.

“There’s something Eddie and I would like to share with you all. A realization, if you will, that we had over the weekend.”

The group looked at them curiously, and Bev faked her curiosity, knowing the words before Richie spoke them.

“We’re in love.” Richie paused while the rest of the group smiled, seeming rather unfazed, to Richie’s disappointment. “Together. With each other, I mean. Not like, separately.”

“Flawless execution, Richie. Really not leaving yourself any room for improvement with that one,” Stan said flatly.

Bev leaned forward and touched Eddie’s hand. “I’m so happy for you two.”

Eddie offered Bev a nervous, but endearing smile. “Thanks, Bev.”

“So what prompted the epiphany?” Stan glanced expectantly at Richie, who was perplexed by the question at first, and Stan sensed it. “I mean, I think we’ve all known for years, so what inspired you two to finally have that conversation?”

“Come on, Stan, don’t act like you and Mike had it so figured out. If it weren’t for me you two would be sneaking lustful glances at each other into eternity.”

“Don’t give yourself too much credit, Richie. We would have caught on sooner or later. Just because you pushed us into it doesn’t mean our relationship was entirely your doing.”

“Fair enough, credit where credit is due.” Richie was purposely stalling on Stan’s question in order to form an eloquent answer that didn’t warrant any further prying.

“So?”

“Hmm?”

“I asked you a question, Richie. Is there a reason you’re avoiding it?”

“What? Oh, uh, I guess I just got too tired of the uncertainty. I was prepared to accept if Eddie didn’t feel the same way, but luckily he did, right, Eds?”

Eddie nodded quickly. He was tucked in close to Richie and Richie’s arm was around Eddie’s shoulders.

Stan seemed satisfied with his answer. He looked around the table. “So does that mean that we all have dates for prom now?”

“Well I hadn’t exactly asked Eddie yet, and I was planning something extravagant, so thanks for ruining it, Stanley.”

“I hope you’re kidding,” Eddie said, unenthused.

Richie shook his head proudly.

“Why can’t you just ask me normally, Richie? I’ll clearly say yes.”

“You’re just gonna tell me ‘yes’ before I even ask? Now it really is ruined.”

“Why do you even have to ask, Richie? We’re dating now, isn’t it a little obvious that we’re gonna go together?”

“I guess it is, but where’s the fun in that?”

Beverly piped up. “I’m sure we’ll have more than enough fun at the actual prom to make up for it, Richie.”

Richie leaned back in his chair, defeated, and Eddie stayed sitting on the edge of his. Richie had dropped his arm from Eddie’s shoulders, and he sat back up suddenly, bringing up a new topic of conversation as he slid his hand into Eddie’s lap and rested it on Eddie’s inner thigh. Eddie shuddered at the contact, while Richie kept talking without wavering. Eddie couldn’t focus on the words Richie was saying because he was far too distracted by Richie’s hand.

He was quickly cut off by the bell, ringing to signify classes beginning shortly. The group stood up and began walking to their respective classes, branching off until Richie and Eddie were left.

“So you really do want to go to prom with me?”

“Of course I do, Richie.”

Richie pulled Eddie into a hug, but stopped when his mouth was beside Eddie’s ear. 

“Meet me in the bathrooms beside the science lab at 9:15 sharp.” He placed a kiss on Eddie’s cheek and pulled away from him. He winked before spinning around and walking the other direction to his first period class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this fic is supposed to be mainly reddie but i love stanlon with my entire heart and soul sorry bout it
> 
> so just so y'all know i realized that it would have been clever to name bill's girlfriend audrey to allude to his future wife in the canon but it's too late now and i'm kicking myself for it ok
> 
> also ya girl finally saw call me by your name after not knowing barely anything about it and holy shit


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~nsfw~

Eddie watched the clock impatiently, which only seemed to make it move slower. His first period was Chemistry and he was usually pretty interested in the subject, but Richie’s plan to meet him in the bathroom halfway through class was distracting to say the least. He tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying, to no avail. His imagination ran wild with thoughts of what Richie had in mind for their rendezvous. He felt himself getting hard, so he shifted slightly in his seat, while he tried desperately to clear his mind and think of the covalent bonds that the teacher was sketching out on the chalkboard. It worked a little bit, and with quick glances to the clock every so often, 9:30 eventually arrived.

He was thankful for his formfitting briefs keeping his dick pressed against him so it wouldn’t catch the attention of his classmates. He raised his hand for permission to use the washroom, and permission was easily granted. Eddie’s teachers liked him. He was quiet, intelligent, and diligent, everything a teacher could ask for in a student. Richie was quite the opposite. He was often loud and destructive, and rarely on time. Not to say he wasn’t intelligent, though. He got good grades and usually handed his assignments in on time. Teachers supposed that he just liked raising hell, and they had come to accept it. An added solace was that he would be graduating this year, and was soon to be out of their hair.

Eddie slipped into the empty hallway, looking around before making his way to the bathrooms Richie had instructed him to go to. The bathrooms beside the science lab were a halfway distance between Eddie’s first period class and Richie’s. Richie had History first period, and he was always pretty eager to skip it. It was easily his least favourite subject. Math and Science were more up Richie’s alley, and History and English bored him half to death. He didn’t have the attention span for the long novels and seemingly endless accounts of the world’s past. But his memory was impeccable, which lent itself easily to remembering the math equations and scientific concepts.

Richie rounded the corner and smiled when he saw Eddie walking up to the bathroom door from the opposite direction. He pressed his pointer finger to his lips, while opening the door to let Eddie in first. He took a quick survey of the hallway, and didn’t see anyone. He stepped into the bathroom and was satisfied to see that no one was standing at the urinals, and he dropped his head down to look for feet in the stalls.

He spun around to face Eddie. “Clear,” he smirked.

“Richie, why are we meeting in the bathroom?”

Richie stepped close to Eddie, so close they were almost touching, and the space between them begged to disappear. “Because every minute I’m away from you feels like a goddamn eternity.”

Eddie grabbed the fabric of Richie’s hoodie, and pulled him into a kiss. Unlike the soft, tender kisses that the two so often indulged in, this kiss was rough and filled with desire. Eddie pressed his body to Richie’s desperate to touch him. Richie pulled Eddie into one of the stalls.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked as Richie closed the stall door and locked it.

He answered Eddie’s question with his own. “What if someone comes in?”

“Let ‘em.” Eddie pulled Richie into another kiss. Richie pressed him against the wall of the bathroom stall and began to slowly grind his hips. Eddie moaned softly into Richie’s lips.

“Eds, baby, hush. I think we’re breaking some rules here, if someone comes in I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“I don’t care, Rich. I just need you to touch me.”

“Fuck, do you realize what you do to me?” Richie caught a slight smirk on Eddie’s face. “You do it on purpose, don’t you?” Richie leaned in close to Eddie’s ear. “You like watching me suffer.” The words tingled along Eddie’s skin, and he pushed Richie up against the opposite wall of the stall, kissing him fiercely. He tried out Richie’s grinding technique, and held back a whimper when he felt the friction between his legs. He was fully hard at this point, and Richie could feel it against his thigh. Richie ran his fingers down Eddie’s stomach and unzipped Eddie’s jeans. He slid his hand into Eddie’s underwear, and Eddie breathed in sharply, burying his face into Richie’s shoulder to avoid making noise. It was muffled, but Richie still heard the whine Eddie made.

Richie dropped to his knees tugged Eddie’s jeans and underwear down. He stared up into Eddie’s eyes as he slowly leaned in and licked the pre-cum off of his dick. Eddie let out a groan, the warmth of Richie’s tongue and the sight of him licking the length of his dick being borderline unbearable.

Richie parted his lips and took Eddie’s entire length in his mouth, and Eddie gasped for breath. He caught it, but he felt himself nearing orgasm. He grabbed handfuls of Richie’s hair and his hips stuttered, thrusting into Richie’s mouth. Richie was dumbfounded but somewhat impressed as Eddie’s dick hit the back of his throat. Eddie tugged on Richie’s hair as he came, cursing and rolling his hips as Richie sucked until Eddie was finished.

When Eddie recovered, he looked down to see Richie sitting on the floor laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Did you mean to do that?”

Eddie was suddenly concerned. “What did I do? I think I blacked out.” Richie laughed harder now, and Eddie quickly pulled up his jeans. “What did I do?” Eddie repeated.

“You just skullfucked me.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s exactly what it sounds like. You literally fucked my mouth. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I felt your dick hit the back of my fucking throat.” Richie was still giggling, while Eddie felt his face get hot.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s ok,” Richie stood up, and wrapped his arms around Eddie. “It was hot.” He smiled. “I’m just lucky I have no gag reflex.” Richie chuckled again and Eddie smiled sheepishly. Richie lifted Eddie’s chin and kissed him. When he parted his lips, Eddie made a face and pulled away.

“You taste weird.”

“I just had my mouth on your dick,” Richie laughed.

“Holy shit, gross. I forgot.”

Richie continued to laugh, but reached into his pocket and pulled out a package of chewing gum, handing a piece to Eddie and taking one for himself. Eddie popped it into his mouth. “Thanks.” He looked down and his eyes wandered to Richie’s crotch. “Are you hard?” he asked quietly. Richie reached forward and held Eddie’s hand, pressing it to his dick. “Oh,” Eddie said softly. The answer was, in fact, yes.

Eddie lingered his hand there for a moment, before he moved it up and unbuttoned Richie’s jeans. He slowly pulled the zipper down and then tugged at the waistband, pulling his jeans down. He dropped to his knees. He flicked his eyes up to meet Richie’s, immediately feeling the lust in them. “Just so you know, I’m not putting my mouth anywhere near it.”

Richie smiled. “Anything you do is enough, Eds.”

Eddie melted at the sentiment. He pulled down Richie’s boxer briefs. When he pulled out Richie’s dick, his eyes widened a little. It hadn’t been hard when he had seen it before. Richie noticed Eddie’s shock and tried to stifle a giggle. Richie was a solid six and a half inches hard. He was the type to measure.

“Where do I start?”

“Spit in your hand. And please don’t hock a loogie or I’ll be fucking soft before you can even _say_ ‘handjob.’”

Eddie laughed, before looking down at his palm and following Richie’s instruction. He dropped a glob of spit into his hand, and looked back up at Richie. Richie nodded. “I think you know where to go from here.”

Eddie hesitantly placed his hand around Richie’s length, and he heard Richie exhale. He started to move his hand slowly and Richie bit his lip. Eddie pumped his hand faster, and his tongue poked ever-so-slightly out of the side of his mouth out of concentration. He did it a lot, and Richie didn’t think he even realized he did it, which just made it more adorable.

Richie wanted to savour the moment. A few days ago it was only something he could experience in his imagination. But he could feel himself getting close.

Eddie’s eyes were locked on Richie’s face. He tried to memorize every different look of pleasure he made. Every sharp inhale and hot exhale. Every curse he whispered under his breath.

Richie shot his hand out and ripped a stream of toilet paper from the dispenser. He knew that Eddie wouldn’t have put any thought into what to do to prevent cum from getting everywhere. He wadded the toilet paper up and came into it, groaning deeply.

Seeing the face Richie made when he came wasn’t something that Eddie had anticipated wanting or needing. But now that it was in his memory, he wouldn’t have any trouble getting off when Richie wasn’t around.

Richie tossed the wad of toilet paper into the toilet and flushed it, and he looked back at Eddie, who was now standing. He placed a kiss on Eddie’s lips, trying to pull him in close, but Eddie pulled away.

“I gotta get back to class.” He opened the stall door, walked up to the sinks, and started washing his hands.

Richie sighed, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and placing one between his lips. “It’s a damn shame.”

Eddie smiled while still looking down at his hands as he washed them, and Richie could see his smile in the mirror. Richie stepped forward and stood beside Eddie. Eddie turned off the faucet and turned his head to look at Richie. He plucked the unlit cigarette out of Richie’s lips and pressed a soft kiss to them. “I love you.”

Richie smiled. “I love you, too.” Eddie raised the cigarette back up to Richie’s mouth and he took it between his teeth. He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out his lighter, and Eddie started towards the door.

He turned his head as he grasped the handle. “I’ll see you at lunch.” Richie gave a quick nod and flicked the lighter, and Eddie disappeared.

 

On Friday night, Beverly invited Eddie to her aunt’s for a sleepover. Eddie and Bev had sleepovers together since they were younger. They enjoyed the alone time with each other. They would do face masks on each other, take teen magazine quizzes, sing and dance to 80’s pop music, and end the nights by falling asleep to a rom-com. Eddie loved having sleepovers with Bev, and his total and perhaps cliché enjoyment of the traditionally feminine activities led Bev to a sneaking suspicion that Eddie was gay, but she never dared to ask until Eddie came out on his own. When Eddie told her about his romantic interest in Richie, it confirmed to her that he was into guys in some capacity. He hadn’t yet put a label on himself to the group, but they weren’t really bothered. As far as they were concerned, he really didn’t need to.

Richie was annoyed that Eddie wouldn’t let him come over to Bev’s with him. “I don’t see why I’m not allowed to come. Bev’s my friend, too.”

“That’s not what it’s about, Richie.”

“Then what is it about?”

“Bev and I have had sleepovers just the two of us for years. It’s kind of a thing now. Why do you even want to come so bad anyways? You never wanted to come before. Why now?”

Richie looked at his feet. “I just wanna spend time with you.”

Eddie lifted Richie’s chin so he could look into Richie’s eyes. “We can hang out tomorrow night, okay? Besides, we can’t spend every waking moment together.”

Richie cracked a smile. “Why not?”

Eddie couldn’t help but return the smile. “Because.” He shut Richie up with a kiss, and that was the end of the discussion.

Now, Eddie and Bev laid beside each other on Bev’s bed, after just having walked from the school.

“Do you wanna see something cool? I haven’t shown any of the others yet,” Bev said suddenly.

“Sure.”

Bev stood up and walked over to her closet. She opened the door and Eddie couldn’t help himself from gasping. A headless fabric mannequin stood in the middle of the closet, and a beautiful lavender lace gown hung from it. The sheer bodice was adorned with flowery lace arranged into a plunging neckline, and the sheer fabric bunched at the shoulders to create elegant straps. From the waist, the lace fabric continued into the skirt of the dress, and layers of tulle underneath created a full A-line. Eddie was positive that it was a dress straight out of a fairy tale.

“That is a gorgeous dress, Beverly. Where on earth did you get it?”

“A fabric store, technically. I worked a little magic to make it into a dress.” She smiled humbly.

“You made this? How long did it take you?” Eddie was now standing, touching the dress gently.

“I started in September. It took me all summer to save up for the fabric. The tulle alone was sixty dollars. But I wanted the dress of my dreams so I figured the easiest way to find it was to make it.” Beverly laughed.

Eddie realized that the mannequin was able to spin, and he turned it around to see the bunched straps of the dress continued down the back and flattened out to connect at the waist with the skirt, creating a mostly open back. “You never cease to amaze, Bev, seriously. It looks like it came straight out off a fancy fashion magazine.”

“Thanks, Eddie, that means a lot.”

“You’re welcome. I’m sure people will pay a lot of money for your dresses one day. I’m honoured to be in it’s presence.” Eddie laughed.

“Now you’re just being silly.”

“No one else has seen it?”

“Just my aunt. I want it to be a surprise.”

“But you showed it to me?”

“I trust your opinion.”

Eddie smiled. “Well, don’t worry, because it’s absolutely stunning. Are you going to show Ben the colour so you guys can match?”

“I gave him a paint chip with the exact colour on it,” she laughed. Bev closed the door of the closet and hopped back onto the bed.

Eddie nodded, impressed, before sitting on the bed beside her.

“So you and Richie are going to prom together? Everything’s going well between you two, it seems.”

“It’s going so well, Bev, you have no idea.”

“Come on Eddie, don’t spare any details.”

Eddie looked down and wrung his hands. “You wanna know, like, the sex stuff?”

“You guys have done sex stuff?” Bev was a little surprised, considering their relationship had only just started about a week ago. Eddie nodded. “If you want to tell me about it, go for it.”

Eddie hesitated before speaking. “He gave me a blowjob in the school bathrooms on Monday.”

Beverly chuckled. “Of course he did. That’s a very Richie thing to do.”

“And after he did that, I gave him a handjob.” Eddie put his head in his hands. “He’s so hot, Beverly.” He looked back up. “He makes me want to do the craziest things. I get so in the moment with him and it’s like nothing else matters. I’m honestly worried that if we stay so intense like this we might fizzle out, you know? Does it have to be that way? Because I don’t want it to end, Bev.”

“I don’t think it has to be that way. Intense passion doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship will be short. He loves you, Ed. Just remember to communicate and make sure you’re both happy and you should be okay. And don’t be afraid to be fiery. It’s who you are, and I’m sure it’s something Richie loves about you.”

Eddie smiled. “Thanks, Bev.” He was quiet for a moment. “What about you and Ben?”

“What about us?”

“Have you guys done sex stuff?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Beverly started to blush. “We haven’t done, like, the big…” Beverly used her hands to suggest penetration. “But… I think he might be the best ever at eating out. He just knows all the right places.” Bev leaned against the wall and almost became lost in thought, a slight smirk on her face.

“What does eating out mean?”

Bev was a little shocked at Eddie’s innocence, but she thought about an eloquent way to explain it. “Well, essentially, one person will touch the other person’s vagina with their tongue. And they can lick and suck and use their fingers, too, and get all up in there.”

“No teeth?”

Bev cringed and shook her head. “Definitely not.”

“Weird that they call it eating out when you’re not actually eating anything.”

Bev shrugged. “Just a euphemism. Two guys can do it, too. You would just replace the vagina with an asshole.”

Eddie looked defeated. “See, Richie explained the asshole thing to me, too, and I have to say, I just don’t get it. Putting things in there, and having someone’s tongue all over it, it just doesn’t sound pleasant.”

“I can’t say I know what it feels like. I guess you don’t know until you try it.”

“Sounds gross to me. Also how are you supposed to know who’s the top and who’s the bottom? Because Richie said he doesn’t know which one he is, and I definitely don’t know which one I am.”

“It’s just whatever feels right. Depending on what you like and what Richie likes, you’ll figure it out together.”

“Do I have to be the bottom because I’m smaller?”

Bev shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

“What about the fact that he’s bi and he’s been with girls before? Do I have to bottom because I’m the gay one? Because, like, if he’s been with girls then he must enjoy being the top, right? What if I don’t want to be the bottom?” Eddie had just let the words pour out of his mouth and was kind of stunned by his revelation that he didn’t want to be the bottom. It was a truth he had not yet admitted to himself.

“Eddie, if you don’t want to be a bottom, you don’t have to be. Sexuality doesn’t directly reflect what role people have to take when it comes to sex. In fact, with your personality, you’d probably enjoy absolutely dominating Richie. Like I said, it’s just a matter of figuring out what you both like and putting it all together. Once we lose our virginities we’ll have to compare stories. Don’t feel rushed though. And definitely don’t let Richie rush you, or I’ll have to have a firm conversation with him.”

“It’s okay, Bev. He said he would wait a lifetime if it meant I was happy.”

Bev smiled. “Seems I have nothing to worry about, then.”

Eddie thought over everything Beverly said. He hung on the thought of ‘topping’ Richie. The idea kind of turned him on. He thought about the word ‘dominate’ with fierce curiosity. The thoughts fell away as Beverly regained Eddie’s attention. She was saying his name, and Eddie was suddenly aware that she must have failed a couple times in getting his attention. “Did you hear me?”

Eddie shook his head with a sheepish smile.

Beverly laughed. “I asked if you were hungry.”

“Sorry Bev. I’m pretty hungry though, yeah.”

“Okay, since my aunt is still at work she left us money for pizza. You want pepperoni and green peppers?”

Eddie smiled and nodded. It was his favourite. Bev stood up to go order the pizza, and Eddie laid back down on the bed. He wondered what Richie was doing in this moment. He had the overwhelming realization that he missed him, and decided that he was sure to make plans with him for tomorrow night.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm not gonna put any nsfw warnings from here on out, i think y'all know what u signed up for

“The excuses are getting more unbelievable with every passing day. I can’t believe she really doesn’t suspect anything.” Eddie and Richie were sitting in Richie’s room after Eddie had just walked over.

He planned to spend the day at Richie’s house and had to come up with a reason that he had to be gone all day. He ended up telling his mom that one of his classmates’ hamster died and they needed to be consoled. Eddie made sure to include that they weren’t really friends, just acquaintances, so as to not raise a need for Eddie’s mom to want to meet the made up person. He mentioned that the person didn’t have many friends, so he was the first person they called because he would talk to them in class sometimes. His mom was joyous at Eddie’s eagerness to help someone in need, and Eddie shrugged it off, knowing that the entire story was a lie.

“As long as she doesn’t start asking to meet all of these made up ‘friends.’ I can put on a wig and fake moustache but I don’t know how convincing it would be.”

“I can’t even tell if you’re joking, but it would not be convincing in the slightest.”

“Of course I’m joking,” Richie grabbed Eddie by the waist and started tickling him and Eddie tried to push Richie away, laughing wildly.“When am I ever serious, Eddie Spaghetti?”

Tears formed in Eddie’s eyes as he became out of breath from laughing. “Richie, stop, please.” Through the laughter, Richie could tell Eddie genuinely wanted him to stop, so he did. Eddie reached for his inhaler and took a deep breath from it.

“Sorry,” Richie grinned.

Eddie looked down and smiled, tossing the inhaler around in his hands. “It’s okay. I kind of liked it.” Richie continued to grin. “Hey, Rich, can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

Eddie went quiet for a moment. He realized that he really wasn’t sure how he was going to ask. “You know how you said you weren’t sure if you were a top or a bottom? I think that when the time comes… I guess I was wondering if that maybe meant that you would be open to… like… or if I was…”

“Has Bill’s stutter become contagious?” Richie laughed. “Should I invest in a hazmat suit?”

Eddie nudged his elbow into Richie’s side. “Do you know what I’m trying to ask, at least?”

“Not really. Do you want to know if I’d be open to bottoming?”

Eddie was surprised by how easily Richie guessed what he was trying to say. “Yeah, actually.”

“I’m open to anything, Eddie. Anything for you.” Richie touched the side of Eddie’s face lovingly. Eddie kissed Richie’s cheek softly and rolled over, dropping his head into Richie’s lap.

“That was easier than I thought it would be.”

“You know I love you, right? You could come to me wanting to try the wildest of fetishes and I would give it my best shot.”

“Well… I feel the same way. As long as there’s no bodily waste involved.”

Richie made a face. “Agreed.” He hesitated for a moment. “While we’re on the topic, there is actually something…” Eddie braced himself. “It’s more like a kink than a fetish, but… uh… I’m super into having my hair pulled. Gets me rock hard every time.” Eddie’s interest was piqued, and he reached a hand out aiming for Richie’s hair. Richie intercepted it, grabbing onto Eddie’s wrist. “Just take my word for it, okay?”

Eddie smiled cheekily and pulled his arm back. “Is it a pain kink, then?”

Richie was perplexed, and interested. “I really don’t know. I only know about the hair thing. But I guess it is the pain that does it for me, so maybe?”

“Well, you like things rough?” Eddie asked. Richie nodded. “What about biting lips and ears and what not?”

“Hot.”

“Scratching with fingernails?”

“Very hot.”

“Being slapped?”

Richie’s jaw dropped. “Would you believe I’d never even thought about being slapped during sex? But the idea is making me tingly all over.”

“Well, I’m no doctor, but it sure sounds like you have a pain kink. Which I’m realizing is incredibly sexy.”

“ _You’re_ incredibly sexy.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. Richie was the king of weak comebacks that just put an emphasized ‘you’re’ in front of the offensive word. After it became a habit, he started using it in other situations, not necessarily as a comeback to offensive things.

Eddie sat up and crawled onto Richie’s lap, kissing him softly. Richie caressed Eddie’s back under his shirt, and Eddie gripped Richie’s shoulders. They made out carelessly for some time. The endless passion and pure love radiating from their contact made them both want it to last forever. They pulled each other close and ended up laying on the bed together. Richie showered Eddie with lazy, gentle kisses. Eddie pressed his head to Richie’s chest and could faintly hear his heartbeat.

His senses were surrounded by everything that Richie was. His faint musk, his warmth, his hushed breathing, and his softly beating heart. Eddie was full of contentment.

Richie was always the quietest when they were cuddling, and Eddie was suddenly aware of the fact. He hadn’t spoken a word since they stopped kissing. His awareness of the silence quickly became overbearing, and he was compelled to fill the silence with words.

“Richie?”

“Yes?”

“Can you play me something on the guitar?”

“Really? Why?”

“I don’t know… You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“It’s just that it’s been awhile since I’ve played it and it’s all the way downstairs. And I’m sure I’m pretty rusty, are you sure you want to subject yourself to that?”

“I just kinda wanted to hear it.”

With that, Richie peeled himself away from Eddie, and Eddie immediately regretted making the request when Richie took his warmth with him. Richie was gone before Eddie could even think twice about it. He rubbed his face, hoping that he would return quickly.

Richie did return quickly, a golden brown acoustic guitar in his hand.

“It’s not gonna be as seamless and romantic as I think you imagined. I have to tune it which takes a couple minutes and it sounds pretty unfortunate until it’s actually properly tuned.”

Eddie sat up. “It’s okay.”

Richie sat down and the guitar fit effortlessly with his body as he went to work to tune it. Eddie slipped his bare feet under Richie’s thigh in an effort to capture back some of his warmth. Some out of tune strums of the guitar followed, and although Richie cringed at them, Eddie didn’t find it particularly offensive. He just watched lovingly at Richie’s concentration. Richie had a hard time concentrating on most things, but if it was something Eddie wanted, he would get it done, come hell or high water.

He hit a couple correct notes and smiled to himself, encouraged now that he was at least getting somewhere. Eddie noticed the subconscious expressions Richie was making, and he was sure he could watch the process for hours. His triumphant little smile was the sweetest thing Eddie had ever seen.

Richie quickly finished up and looked up at Eddie. “Do you have any requests?”

Eddie shook his head.

Richie curled his fingers around the neck of the guitar, placing his fingers in a chord, before strumming and moving his fingers to a new one. He quickly fell into a melody that Eddie didn’t recognize, but enjoyed nonetheless. It was slow and beautiful, and Richie played it quietly, closing his eyes and falling into the rhythm of the song. He hadn’t played for a while, indeed, but the skill welcomed him back like an old friend.

When Richie finished the song, he looked up and met Eddie’s eyes. Their eyes remained connected, almost as though they were communicating through eye contact alone. Richie stood up, leaning the guitar against the wall. “I wanna show you something.”

Richie opened his closet door and lifted a blanket to reveal a glass contraption. He picked it up and placed it on his desk.

“What… is it?”

“It’s a bong. Chris gave it to me.”

“I still don’t know what it is, Richie.”

“You smoke weed out of it.”

“Oh. Why would you need that giant thing when you have that small one that we used before?”

“It’s a lot smoother because you put water in the bottom and the smoke passes through it, cooling it down and acting as a kind of filter. It feels better on your throat, too.”

“It looks complicated.”

“It’s really not.” Richie smiled. “I can show you. I’ll be right back.” He took the bong out of the room with him, and when he returned, the base of it was filled with water. He then filled the bowl of the bong with weed from his stash in his top dresser drawer. He sat down next to Eddie, and he covered the top of the bong with his mouth, flicking his lighter on and lighting up the weed. Smoke filled the glass chamber and Richie slid the bowl out, breathing in the smoke.

Eddie was suddenly compelled to meet him with an open mouthed kiss, so he did exactly that. Richie kissed Eddie back impulsively, exhaling smoke into his mouth. Eddie breathed it in deeply. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to do it. The idea of sharing the same breath as Richie was something that he could never have imagined wanting before, but now Eddie wanted everything from him. It felt intimate and important, and his body had acted before he even had time to think about it.

Eddie pulled away, and felt a sharp pain in his heart when he saw a tear rolling down Richie’s cheek. “What happened? Why are you crying? Was it something I did?”

Richie’s eyes flicked back up to meet Eddie’s, and he smiled weakly. “I don’t know,” he laughed. Eddie wiped the tear away with his thumb. “I think I was just overwhelmed by how much I genuinely love you. It kinda snuck up on me. I’ve never cared about anyone as much as I care about you.” Another tear fell.

Eddie’s eyes stung as he fought back tears himself. He held Richie’s face in his hands. “Please don’t cry, it hurts a whole lot seeing you cry.”

“I don’t think they’re sad tears.”

Eddie pressed his lips to Richie’s as tears started to fall from his own eyes. But Richie was right. They weren’t sad tears. They were tears of pure, astounding, and exquisite love. Eddie stopped to wipe away his own tears. “You went and made me cry, too, asshole.” Eddie shoved Richie, but he was smiling.

Richie wiped his eyes with his free hand. “Here,” he said, as he passed the bong to Eddie.

“I have no idea how to even begin.”

Richie leaned forward. “I’ll light it and pull it out for you, okay? I’m no amateur when it comes pulling out,” he winked.

“Beep beep, Richie.”

Richie giggled. “Okay, just put your mouth on the top and I’ll tell you when to breathe in.” Eddie did exactly that, as Richie lifted the lighter to the bowl and lit the weed. “Breathe in now, slowly.” Richie pulled the bowl out. “Okay, now keep inhaling. Nice and deep.” The smoke in the chamber disappeared as Eddie inhaled. “Now close your mouth and look up.”

He did, and Richie returned Eddie’s gesture from before by kissing him with parted lips. Eddie opened his own lips, exhaling, as Richie took a deep inhale. He breathed out through his nose, and ran his tongue along the edges of Eddie’s teeth as they kissed. Eddie met Richie’s tongue with his own, and Richie tried to pull him in closer, but Eddie was still holding the bong awkwardly. Richie took it, placing it on the floor on the other side of him.

He turned around and pulled Eddie back towards him, continuing where they left off. Eddie got up on his knees and placed one of his knees between Richie’s legs, straddling his thigh. Richie’s hand found it’s way to the small of Eddie’s back: a place that, when Richie touched, gave Eddie butterflies. Eddie pressed his hands to Richie’s chest, moving them up along his collarbones and along his neck before landing on his jaw. His tongue danced with Richie’s, making contact with his teeth and lips along the way. They kissed messily and passionately.

Curiosity then wandered into Eddie’s mind, and began to take over. He pressed kisses to the side of Richie’s mouth, along his cheek, and down to his neck. Feeling particularly chaotic, he started to suck and bite at the skin on Richie’s neck, before combing his fingers into the back of Richie’s hair and closing his fist, tugging slightly on the black curls. Eddie heard Richie whisper “fuck” under his breath.

Teasing Richie was something Eddie enjoyed tremendously, and now that he knew about Richie’s kink, he had the power to reduce him to begging.

He leaned in to Richie’s ear and began to bite at the cartilage along the top and side of his ear. Eddie could feel Richie’s hard-on against his thigh. Richie was moving his hips, slightly rubbing against Eddie’s thigh, desperate for contact.

All of a sudden, Eddie stood up.

“Wha… What are you doing?” Richie was a little out of breath. He collapsed against the bed, propping himself up by his elbows.

“I just got a really great idea. Do you have a belt that you don’t use anymore?”

“I don’t know what you’re up to, but is now really the best time?”

“Just trust me.”

“Top drawer of my dresser. There’s an old black one that’s pretty worn out.”

Eddie opened the drawer, which smelled very strongly of weed, and looked around. In the corner, a worn out black belt was rolled up neatly. Without picking it up, he walked over to the door and left, much to Richie’s confusion. Richie looked down at the bulge in his jeans and shook his head.

Eddie reappeared holding a paring knife.

“What the entire fuck are you doing, Eddie?”

“You’ll see.”

He grabbed the belt and sat down beside Richie. “Gimme your hands.”

Richie did what he was told, still not understanding, but trusting Eddie. Eddie wrapped the belt around Richie’s wrists and a smirk fell across Richie’s face as it started to become increasingly clear what Eddie was doing. Richie watched as Eddie pulled the belt as tightly as he could, and Richie jerked slightly with surprise at how rough Eddie was being with him. When he glanced up at Eddie, he was more surprised to catch the sheer lust filling his gaze. He had never seen Eddie look so powerful and full of control and it only turned him on more.

Eddie used his fingernail to mark a spot in the leather, before removing the belt from Richie’s wrists and placing the knife on the spot he marked. He placed both palms on either side of the handle, rolling them back and forth to spin the knife in place and create a small hole in the belt. He placed the knife on Richie’s desk. He spun around, analyzing Richie’s headboard. It consisted of a large piece of carved wood and two spindles on either side. Richie’s bed was tucked in the corner of his room, with the headboard and side of his bed against the perpendicular walls. The one spindle was in the corner perfectly.

“Sit in the corner against your headboard and the wall.” Richie scooted backwards into the corner, and Eddie crawled up onto his lap, belt in hand. “Put your hands up.”

Richie lifted his arms up, smiling. “Are you gonna read me my rights? Everything I say can and will be used against me, and whatnot?”

Eddie’s tough demeanour faltered as he cracked a smile. He quickly got back into it, wrapping the belt around Richie’s wrists with the spindle between them. He pulled it tight, and Richie’s breath hitched. Eddie pressed the prong of the buckle through the hole he made, and looped the rest of the belt through the buckle.

He leaned in and kissed Richie softly. Richie was now almost painfully hard, and when Eddie took a fistful of Richie’s hair, he _whimpered._ Instead of tugging on it, Eddie let it go and got off of Richie’s lap, wiggling down and sitting on his knees between Richie’s legs. He undid Richie’s jeans, tugging them down slightly along with his underwear, pulling out his dick, which leaked with pre-cum. As slow as he could manage, Eddie traced the length of Richie’s dick with his finger. Richie squirmed. Eddie dragged his finger through the pre-cum, trailing it back back down Richie’s dick.

“Please,” Richie breathed.

Eddie dropped some spit into his hand and wrapped his fingers around Richie’s dick and slowly and deliberately began to stroke. Richie dropped his head back, relieved. Eddie concentrated intently on Richie’s reactions, mainly his breathing. When he opened his mouth slightly, Eddie stopped. He removed his hand, placing it gently on Richie’s thigh.

“Oh, come on. Don’t tease me like that.”

“I like teasing you.”

Richie dropped his head back again. “Fuck,” he whispered. “Eds, please.” Eddie returned his hand, picking up where he left off. The complete control he had over Richie was intoxicating, and seeing him so needy was extremely hot. He continued to jerk Richie off at an incredibly slow pace, as Richie began to lift his hips, asking silently for more. Eddie moved his hand a little bit faster, still focused on Richie’s face. When Eddie predicted that he was getting close, he took his hand away again.

“What the fuck? I was so close.”

Eddie felt a smile creep onto his face. “I know.”

Richie watched Eddie’s enjoyment in awe. “I didn’t know you had a sadistic side.”

“I didn’t either.”

“It’s fucking hot. What do I have to do for you to let me cum?”

“I want you to beg.”

Richie smirked. Seeing Eddie in this position was driving him absolutely crazy. He was sure one more touch from Eddie would send him over the edge. He was also ready and willing to play into Eddie’s newfound role.

He put on a desperate voice. “I want it so bad, Eds, please. I’ll do anything. Please, finish me off.”

Eddie rubbed his fingers against Richie’s upper thigh, still toying with him and enjoying every moment of it.

Richie breathed heavily, his act quickly turning into genuine desperation. “Fuck, please, Eddie. Please.” Eddie wrapped his hand back around Richie’s dick, giving him two quick strokes before Richie came deeply, writhing under Eddie’s grasp, moaning loudly and shaking. Cum shot out from his dick, landing all over Richie’s clothes and on Eddie’s shirt and hand. Eddie continued to stroke him as he came down from his orgasm. Once he finished, he tried to catch his breath, blinking his eyes open and looking at Eddie.

“Holy shit.”

“Was it good?”

“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. I think I entered another fucking dimension.”

“Here.” Eddie crawled up and pulled the belt off of Richie’s wrists. He gasped when he noticed the red marks that remained on Richie’s skin where the belt used to be. “Oh my god, was it too tight? I’m so sorry, you could have told me, I would have—”

“Eddie.” He looked down and met Richie’s soft love-filled gaze. “Believe me, it was perfect.”

Eddie smiled, relieved. He pressed a gentle kiss to one of Richie’s wrists, and he sat down on the bed beside Richie. With Richie’s now unrestricted hands, he grabbed Eddie’s face and pulled him into a deep, loving kiss. Eddie happily kissed him back, before he grazed his hand along Richie’s chest and felt the sticky residue of their activities on Richie’s t-shirt.

“Aw, gross.” He looked down at his own body, noticing the cum on his shirt and arm as well. “Shit. We gotta get cleaned up.”

Richie removed his own shirt, rolling it into a ball and tossing it on the floor. He pulled Eddie’s shirt up, feeling the skin of his torso along the way. How slowly and sensually Richie did it gave Eddie chills. Eddie lifted his arms and Richie pulled his shirt off. He used the shirt to wipe the cum off of Eddie’s hand and arm, before rolling it up as well and tossing it beside Richie’s.

Eddie glanced down. “It’s on your jeans, too.”

Richie stood up and dropped his jeans to the floor. Eddie’s eyes followed his jeans, before trailing back up along Richie’s body. His limbs were long and defined, and as he stood there in his tight black boxers, Eddie couldn’t help but linger. When he looked up at Richie’s face, he blushed, as Richie was staring back at him with a smirk.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that.”

Eddie cleared his throat. “See what?”

“You checking me out.”

Eddie shrugged. “I’m just impressed that I landed such a hottie.”

Richie smiled shyly, before turning around and opening his dresser. He slipped a pair of pyjama pants on and picked out a white t-shirt, pulling it on over his head. He moved some things around before pulling another t-shirt out of the drawer, tossing it to Eddie. Eddie beamed as he put the shirt on. It smelled like Richie.

Richie flopped on the bed beside Eddie. Eddie took Richie’s arm in his hands, examining the marks on his wrists. “Are you sure it didn’t hurt?”

“It did,” Richie said, and Eddie looked concerned. “But I liked it.”

“I just feel bad.”

“Don’t. It felt amazing, Eds, I promise. You’re incredible and I love you.”

Eddie sighed and pressed gentle kisses to Richie’s wrists. “I love you, too.” He curled up, resting his head on Richie’s stomach.

Richie spoke after a while. “Maybe we should come up with a safe word. So you can feel better.”

“What’s a safe word?”

“Like, if something is too much and we want to stop, we just say a predetermined word and stop the action. That way you can have the peace of mind knowing that I’m okay.”

“I like that idea.”

“It’s gotta be something that we would never normally say in the moment.”

Eddie thought about it for a moment. “Turtle?”

“Sure. Turtle. Works for me.”

“Good.”

The two were quiet for a while, thinking to themselves. Eddie somehow ended up thinking about prom. It was approaching quickly, less than three weeks away. Richie and Eddie still had to get their tuxes, and Eddie still wasn’t sure how he was going to avoid his mom finding out that he was attending prom with a boy. She had volunteered to chaperone this year, so she would be hard to avoid. Mrs. Kaspbrak had forbade Eddie from even seeing the Losers. He imagined her reaction to him telling her he was, first of all, gay, and second, dating Richie, arguably her least favourite of Eddie’s friends. He knew it wouldn’t go well, but he also knew that he had to tell her before prom, or else the night would turn into a nightmare.

Richie interrupted his thoughts. “What are you thinking about?”

Eddie sighed. “How I’m going to tell my mom that I’m going to prom with you.”

“Did you have any groundbreaking ideas?”

“No.”

“Bummer.”

“I’m almost positive she’s gonna kick me out.”

“Let her. You can stay with me.”

“I know. I just don’t want her to ruin prom for us.”Richie went quiet for a moment, thinking. “We won’t let her,” he said quietly. “If I have any say in the matter, which I do, we’re gonna have a great time. Your mom won’t be there when we have dinner, when we take the limo, or at the afterparty. We can just fly under the radar during the actual prom.”

“She’ll be watching me like a hawk, Richie.”

“She can’t do anything. She can’t pull you out of the prom, you’re eighteen. And she can’t fight me on school property. Even though I think I could take her.”

Eddie smiled at the thought. Maybe everything would be okay. As long as he had his friends and Richie, what difference would his mothers opinion make? After all, Richie was right. He was eighteen. He didn’t have to listen to her or follow her absurd rules. He thought up a plan to tell her about everything, which included packing up some clothes and his important belongings beforehand, just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no offence but try to tell me that richie and eddie wouldn't be hella kinky. also proms coming up yay and might be in the next chapter. after eddie tells his mom about richie tho yikes! stay tuned


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a tad bit longer bc i love all of you that have read up to this point

Eddie was sitting at the kitchen table doing crosswords when the phone rang. He stood up quickly to answer it before his mom. He always tried to get there before her just in case it was Richie calling to save him from risking everything with a shitty voice impression.

Luckily, she usually just let Eddie get the phone regardless, because she found it easier than putting in the effort to get up out of her chair. The phone was usually for him, anyways.

Eddie picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey Spaghetti Man.”

Eddie checked around the corner and saw his mom’s chair was empty. He looked side to side before whispering into the receiver. “Fuck off, Richie.” He heard Richie laugh. Eddie couldn’t stand that nickname.

“Listen, Eds, Stan just called me, and him and Mike are going to get their tuxes today. He asked if you and I wanted to go with them. Are you busy?”

Eddie looked over at the open crossword book on the table. “Not at all.”

“Okay, I’ll call him back and let him know. He said to be ready for 1.”

Eddie glanced over at the clock on the wall. 11:30 am.

“I’ll be ready.”

“Sweet, see you then. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Eddie hung up the phone. He jumped when he heard a loud and exaggerated throat clearing behind him. He spun around and broke into a cold sweat when he saw his mother.

“Who were you talking to?”

Eddie’s mind raced furiously, trying to think of a convincing answer. How much of the conversation had she heard? She clearly heard the ‘love you, too’ part. She looked angry. Who would he be speaking to that would make sense to his mother? He considered family members, but why would they be okay with just talking to Eddie and not his mother? Surely if a family member called they would ask to talk to his mother.

“I asked you a question, Edward.”

“My friend.”

“You end your conversations with your friends by telling them you love them?”

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ “Yeah?”

Her eyes narrowed. “You’re lying. I’m gonna ask you one more time. Who were you speaking to on the phone?”

Fuck it. Eddie planned on telling her anyways, and there’s no time like the present. “I was talking to Richie. Richie Tozier.”

Eddie saw tears in her eyes. This really did hurt her. Firstly, she hated Richie and didn’t want Eddie around him in any capacity, and secondly, she had already begun putting the pieces together. Ever since the AIDS crisis hit the news and they blamed it on gay men, Sonia was very open about her intense homophobia. “Edward, I don’t know what I’ll do if you tell me you’re _gay_.” Eddie didn’t like the way she said the word ‘gay.’ It was as though she spat it out in disgust. He felt tears in his own eyes, now.

“What if I am, Ma?”

“You’d be no son of mine.”

Eddie felt the words stab into him. His tears started to fall, and Sonia concluded that he was, in fact, gay. Any sadness that Eddie could sense had now formed into blind rage.

“I bet you’ve already let that boy do things to you. I bet you’re already riddled with disease.” She looked Eddie up and down. “Get the fuck out of my house. I can’t stand to look at you any longer. You’re gonna get me sick by breathing so close to me.”

Eddie was frozen, sobbing.

“Can’t you hear me? I said get the fuck out.”

Eddie regained control of his body and turned and ran towards the stairs. Sonia bounded after him.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To get my stuff,” Eddie choked.

“No, you need to leave right now. I can’t even imagine what you’ve already infected. I need to clean this entire house because of you. Get out, right now.”

Eddie spun around and reached down to pick up his shoes.

“Get out!” she yelled. Eddie ran out the door and down onto the sidewalk in his socks, holding his sneakers by the laces. He turned around, and didn’t even catch a glance of his mother before she slammed the door shut. Eddie turned and jogged down the street, crying furiously. He still clutched his sneakers in his hand, but couldn’t bear to stop and put them on.

Eddie continued to run down the street, until he began sobbing so violently that he had to stop. He gasped for breath, suddenly realizing that his mom hadn’t even let him stop to grab his inhaler. In his panic, he gasped harder, and fell to his knees. He gasped and coughed, and wondered if this asthma attack might actually kill him.

Reduced to his hands and knees, he fought for breath, his tears landing on the concrete underneath him. He wished Richie were here. What would he say? He would tell Eddie to breathe, to slow down and concentrate. Eddie did exactly that, focusing on his breathing, and Eddie could feel himself starting to pull air into his lungs again.

He dropped over onto his side, landing on the grass beside the sidewalk. He continued to sob, pulling himself into the fetal position.

“Hey kid, are you okay?” Eddie heard the voice from behind him, but couldn’t find the strength to move. The person came around to face Eddie, crouching in front of him. “Can you hear me?”

Eddie nodded.

“What happened?”

“A-Asthma,” Eddie choked. “I have asthma.”

“Who can I call for you?”

Eddie recited Richie’s phone number to the man. “Ask for Richie. He’s my… brother.”

The man stood up and ran back into his house behind Eddie. Eddie still struggled to breathe, but was able to pull enough air in to keep himself conscious. He sobbed loudly, unable to control it.

After mere minutes, the man returned, sitting on the sidewalk beside Eddie. “He’s on his way.”

Eddie had already been instinctively running towards Richie’s house, so it only took Richie about two minutes to arrive. He had also sprinted down the street as fast as he could, fuelled by fear for Eddie’s safety.

He yelled Eddie’s name as he ran up, and Eddie looked up, only crying harder when he saw him. He practically skidded in beside Eddie, immediately picking him up, pulling him into a hug.

Richie nodded to the man, whispering ‘thank you.’ The man nodded back and returned to his house.

“Are you okay, baby, what happened?”

Eddie clung to Richie, unable to speak due to how intensely he was crying. He made choking noises between sobs. Richie rubbed his back gently. “Shhh, it’s okay, just breathe, slow down,” he whispered. “It’ll be okay, just concentrate on breathing, okay? Shhh, it’ll be okay.”

Eddie listened to Richie’s soft voice, slowly calming down and pulling more and more air into his lungs. His sobbing slowed down. “That’s good, you’re doing so good, baby. Just breathe.” Eddie was almost breathing normally. He lifted his head off of Richie’s shoulder, looking at the wet spots he left on his patterned button up shirt. He looked up and met Richie’s eyes. They were full of worry. Noticing it made Eddie cry again.

Richie lifted his hand up and wiped away the tears. “How did you end up here, my love? Why aren’t you wearing your shoes?”

Eddie was breathing better now. “I was running.”

“From what?”

“My mother.”

“Why?”

“She kicked me out, Richie.” Eddie was crying again. “She said I had diseases because I’m gay and because I’m with you.”

Richie sighed heavily, pulling Eddie back into his embrace. “I promise you don’t, okay? You don’t have any diseases.”

“She didn’t let me take anything. Not even my inhaler. That’s why I had an asthma attack.”

“I’m so sorry, Eds. Come on, you can come back with me to my place. We’ll figure things out, okay?”

Eddie nodded. Richie stood up, helping Eddie up to his feet. They started to walk towards Richie’s house.

Richie reached his hand into Eddie’s, but Eddie pulled his hand away.

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t want anyone to see, Rich.”

Richie sighed, turning his head away from Eddie. It hurt him, but he understood. “I wish it didn’t have to be that way. How can a person be angry about two people loving each other? It doesn’t make any goddamn sense.”

“It really doesn’t.” Eddie paused. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without my mom, Richie. I know that sounds stupid, but she left me with nothing. All of my things are still there. It feels so scary to have nothing.”

“Well, at the risk of sounding cliche, you have me. And I won’t ever let anything happen to you. And as far as your stuff goes, we’ll find a way to get it back.”

“She’s not really one for reasoning, Richie.”

“We’ll find a way.”

When they arrived at Richie’s house, Richie ushered Eddie up to his bedroom before coming back downstairs to talk to his mom. She was watching television and holding a mug, but Richie knew without having to look that she wasn’t drinking coffee. He sat down on the couch across from her.

“Hey Mom?”

“Yes?”

“You remember Eddie?”

His mom nodded. Richie told her about his sexuality and about Eddie when they started dating. Like most aspects of Richie’s life, she didn’t care.

“His mom just found out that he’s gay and she kicked him out. Is it okay if he stays with us until he gets on his feet?”

Richie’s mom shrugged. “Whatever. Just don’t expect me to feed him.”

Richie nodded, standing up and turning around. _I didn’t,_ he thought. He walked up the stairs and back into his room, where Eddie was crying again. Richie sat beside him on the bed and hugged him again.

“I’m so sorry, Eds.”

“Me too.”

They sat quietly for a while, Richie holding Eddie tightly, Eddie sobbing quietly into Richie’s shoulder.

“You know what I realized?” Eddie said after a while, sitting up.

“What’s that?”

“I started breathing again after my asthma attack and I didn’t even use my inhaler. I thought I was going to die if I didn’t get it, but I didn’t. I didn’t die.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“How is that possible?”

“Because you aren’t sick, Eddie. Your mother just ingrained into your head that you are. And you had no reason to question it, because why would your mother lie to you like that? It’s because she’s the sick one, Eddie. She’s sick up here,” Richie tapped his temple. “And she forced her own sickness onto you. Her sickness was in her head, and yours is, too.”

“I can’t accept that it’s all in my head, Rich. It feels so real.”

“That doesn’t have to mean it’s not real. Our brains are so powerful, Eds. Just an idea can have a huge affect on our physical beings. Your mother forced the idea of being ill so deep into your head that your body began to reflect those ideas and show signs of sickness. And when you started to treat them with medicines, your body reacted as though they were actually helping, because you truly believed that they were helping.”

“A placebo.”

“Exactly.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“I’ve been researching it. Stan’s been helping me. What your mother has, it’s called Munchausen Syndrome. And she forced it onto you, as well.”

“And it’s in my head?”

Richie nodded.

“But it’s real?”

Richie nodded again.

Eddie fell into Richie’s arms, crying again. Placing a name to it was somehow relieving.

“My head is starting to hurt from crying so much.”

“Here, I’ll get you an Advil.”

Eddie held Richie tightly. “No.”

Richie didn’t have to ask why, because he understood. Eddie took pills for everything. Now that he understood that he really didn’t need them, that he could get through it without them, it made sense that he wouldn’t want them.

“If I don’t have asthma, why did I fall to the ground in front of that persons house? I couldn’t breathe, Richie, it’s not like I was acting.”

“I know you weren’t acting, baby, it could have been a panic attack. Think, you were upset, scared, running, and crying, it’s pretty likely that you would have been panicking. And from what I understand, a panic attack feels pretty damn similar to an asthma attack. Main symptoms are supposedly difficulty breathing, chest pain, dizziness, things like that. The one thing that really surprised me was the feeling of impending death that some people experience. Not unlike how you said you thought you were going to die.”

“Holy shit.” Eddie was sitting up now, engrossed in Richie’s words.

“I think that’s why you didn’t actually end up needing your inhaler. I think it just provides comfort for you because it represents a solution that you believed in. But in reality, you were okay without it because you weren’t experiencing asthma. You were experiencing panic.”

“And because I had you. You were my comfort.”

“That’s fucking sappy, but I guess, yeah, when I got there you calmed down pretty quickly.”

“I love you, Richie.”

“I love you, too, Eddie.”

Eddie kissed him softly, and Richie held him protectively as he kissed him back. Any protective nature that Richie felt towards Eddie was increased ten-fold after the events that just took place. Richie’s disdain for Eddie’s mother had increased greatly, as well. Not only had she mentally and emotionally abused her son for his entire life, she abandoned him after everything she did to him just because of his sexuality.

“I want you to know that there’s lots of people that are accepting of homosexuality. Not everyone reacts like your mom did. Yeah, there may be people that do react that way, but not everyone does. When I told my mom, she didn’t care. Not that she really cares about anything I do, but she didn’t hate me for it. And the Losers, they accept it. I just don’t want you to be afraid, okay?”

Eddie nodded.

“If you want to hide that we’re together when we’re in public, we can. I just want you to know that we don’t have to. There will be people that won’t accept it, but usually they hate from afar. And if someone does try to approach us, I promise you I will protect you with everything I have.”

“I don’t want to hide.”

“I don’t want to, either. I love you, and I want everybody to know it.” Richie smiled, and Eddie smiled a little, too. “I missed your smile,” Richie laughed, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s cheek, only making Eddie smile more. 

Eddie jumped when a car horn blared through Richie’s open window.

“Oh shit,” Richie said, looking over at the clock. “Mike and Stan are here.” He looked back over at Eddie, who looked extremely troubled. “What’s the matter?”

“I don’t have my bank card.”

“We’ll have to make a quick pit stop at casa de Kaspbrak.” Richie could see the fear on Eddie’s face. “Don’t worry, my love, it’ll be alright, let’s go.”

Richie took Eddie’s hand, leading him downstairs and outside. He opened the passenger door of the truck for Eddie, closing it once he got in. He stepped up on the back tire, hopping up into the truck bed.

Stan noticed Eddie’s concern right away. “What happened?”

Richie knocked on the back window, and Stan turned around and slid it open.

“I know you’re probably wondering what happened and why Eddie’s not at his house. His mother kicked him out because she found out about me and him. She didn’t let him take any of his stuff. Including his bank card, so he has no way to pay for the tux rental.”

“Eddie, that’s terrible, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, don’t worry about the tux rental, they don’t make you pay for it until you return it. They just ask for a credit card to keep on file for the duration of the rental. My mom’s got that covered for the four of us, anyways. We have plenty of time to figure out what to do about your belongings.”

“There you go, Eds. Stan the Man always has a plan.”

“Thanks, Stan,” Eddie said.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m dreading telling my folks about Mike and I, too. I don’t think they’re gonna take it well.”

“Can’t be worse than how my mother reacted. She said she thinks I’m probably diseased now because I let Richie touch me.”

“You didn’t tell me that part. How does she know I touched you?”

“She didn’t know for sure, Richie. She was just guessing. I think her exact words were something like ‘I bet you’ve already let that boy _do things_ to you. I bet you’re full of disease.’” Eddie was tearing up again.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie.”

“It’s not your fault, Richie. It’s hers. I’m her son and she couldn’t see past my sexuality. It’s so fucked up.”

“You never deserved anything that she put you through, Eddie, I hope you know that.”

“I know, thank you, Stan.” Eddie was crying now. Stan wrapped his arms around him, and Eddie buried his face in the fabric of Stan’s polo.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Eddie looked up when he heard Richie’s voice from behind him. He turned to look out the window and gasped. Mike was driving past Eddie’s house, and his mother was in the process of dumping his belongings on the front lawn.

Mike came to a screeching halt in front of the house, and Richie was out of the truck before it had even fully stopped. Sonia was wearing disposable gloves and a surgical mask, dumping out baskets of Eddie’s things onto the lawn.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Richie yelled, walking across the street.

Sonia looked up, immediately becoming furious upon seeing Richie.

“You!” She dropped the basket full of Eddie’s clothes.

Richie stopped, his arms up in the air in a ‘what the fuck’ sort of stance.

Eddie pushed the truck door open and hopped out. Sonia was pointing at Richie. “You! You ruined my boy! You turned him into a homosexual! How could you?! Get away! Get the fuck off of my property!”

“I’m not even on your property! I’m standing on the road, you crazy bitch. Public property!” Richie flipped his middle finger up.

Eddie ran up to Richie. “What the fuck are you doing?!” he shouted to his mother.

“Listen to him, Richard, he never had a mouth like that until you defiled him.”

Richie was taken aback. “Fuck you!”

“He was perfect before you came along.”

“Quit talking about me like I’m not standing right here! You’re the one that fucked me up!” Eddie yelled as he walked towards her. Stan and Mike had ran up on the other side of Richie. “My whole life you treated me like I was going to break if the fucking wind hit me too hard. You treated me like I was sick, when I wasn’t. I’m completely healthy, you’re the one who’s sick. And the doctors that played along with your fucking charade. They saw the abuse but did nothing. Now you treat me like garbage because I’m gay?”

“Shh, Eddie bear, stop yelling the neighbours will hear.”

“Let them!” Eddie raised his hands up to project his voice. “I’m fucking gay! I love boys!” He pointed to Richie, who was watching in stunned silence. “Specifically, I love that boy! So fucking much. And he loves me. Which is more than you can say for yourself.”

Sonia was on her knees. “I love you, Eddie bear, of course I do.”

“Clearly you don’t. You’ve hurt me my entire life, you threw me out, and now you’re dumping my belongings on the ground like trash. That’s not love. That’s hate.”

“Why do you think I’m doing this, Eddie, I love you, I want you to get better. You’re sick. This boy has made you sick. I was angry before, I admit. But you can come back. We can get you the help you need.”

“What, to cleanse me of my sin? Fuck you. Love isn’t a disease. Hate is. I’m going to take my things, and I’m going to leave, and you’re never going to see me again.” Eddie turned around to face the others. “Do we have to be at the store for a certain time?”

Stan shook his head.

“Can we bring my stuff back to Richie’s?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Just grab what you can and throw it the back of the truck.”

They all looked at Eddie warily.

“They’ve already been thrown in the dirt. What does it matter at this point?”

They nodded, spreading out and picking up pieces of clothing and miscellaneous items. Eddie looked down at his mother, still sitting on her knees.

“Eddie, please.”

“Don’t. You’ve said enough.”

Eddie bent over and picked up his fanny pack. He brushed the dirt off of it and buckled it around his waist, before grabbing more clothes from the grass. He picked up his toiletry bag, tucking it under his arm. He walked over to the truck, tossing his clothes into the back. . When he looked back, the lawn was clean. Mike, Stan, and Richie were carrying everything. They dropped Eddie’s stuff into the truck bed. Mike and Stan got into the truck, and Richie stepped up into the back. Eddie handed his toiletry bag to Stan.

“Can you put this on the seat?”

Stan nodded, taking the bag. Eddie followed Richie to the back of the truck, reaching his hand out.

“Help me up?”

“Are you sure?”

Eddie nodded. Stan was surprised when he turned his head to see Eddie getting into the back. He shuffled over, closing the door. Mike started the truck, and put it in drive. Eddie lifted his middle finger as they drove away.

“Why did you wanna sit in the back?”

“I guess I don’t care anymore. I just wanted to sit with you.”

Richie smiled solemnly. “I’m proud of you. Standing up to her, like that. I love you.”

Eddie nodded. “I love you, too.”

Mike drove slowly to try to prevent Eddie’s clothes from flying all over Derry. Eddie and Richie did their best to hold the stuff down.

When they arrived at Richie’s, he hopped out of the truck again before it stopped moving. He ran up the front steps and into the house, returning with two laundry baskets. Stan handed Eddie’s toiletry bag back to him, and he tucked it under his arm again while he and Richie threw everything into the baskets. They carried the baskets into the house and up to Richie’s room.

When they returned, Mike and Stan had layered all three blankets from Mike’s truck into the back. Eddie smiled when he saw the blankets and looked over at Mike, running up and wrapping his arms around him. Mike smiled, squeezing Eddie gently. Richie embraced Stan.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Stan nodded, hugging Richie back.

Mike got back into the truck, and Stan got into the passenger’s side. Richie got into the truck bed, helping Eddie up after him.

Richie sat down in the corner and Eddie sat down in front of him, between his legs. He laid back, resting his head on Richie’s stomach. Richie placed his hands on Eddie’s shoulders, massaging them softly. Wind rushed past them, as Eddie closed his eyes, concentrating on Richie’s touch. His fingers rubbed circles into Eddie’s tense muscles. One of his hands caressed his neck, before he combed his fingers through the back of Eddie’s hair. He played with strands of Eddie’s hair thoughtlessly. They sat in comfortable silence for the duration of the ride, Eddie finally beginning to relax.

The formal shop wasn’t very far away from Richie’s house, so the ride was short. Mike parked the truck outside of the shop and he and Stan stepped out. Richie helped Eddie down from the truck bed, and they started walking towards the store. Eddie slipped his hand into Richie’s. When Richie looked down at him, Eddie was already staring up at him lovingly. Richie squeezed his hand softly and the group entered the store.

“Hello!” A cheerful looking woman greeted them. “Is there anything I can help you boys with today?”

“Yes, actually,” Stan said. “We’re looking to get fitted for tux rentals.”

“Ah, yes, of course, right this way.”

They followed the woman through the store to the men’s section. Eddie looked around at the vast array of dresses filling most of the room. He couldn’t see any that looked similar to Bev’s in the slightest.

“Are you all just looking for black tuxedos?”

Stan, Mike, and Eddie nodded, while Richie spoke. “Actually, I was considering making a statement with my tux, if you will.”

“Richie come on, I have to match with you colour-wise, so please don’t get anything crazy.”

“Oh, are you two attending the prom together?”

Eddie froze as Richie nodded.

“That is so sweet.”

He sighed, relieved.

“I don’t want anything too crazy. I was thinking a dark blue, or a maroon.”

“Tasteful. I like it. Come,” the woman beckoned Richie, walking over to the rack. Richie followed her. She pulled a royal blue suit from the rack.

Richie gasped. “That’s perfect.”

The woman laughed. “That was easy. Let’s get you boys fitted. Let me just grab my associate.” She disappeared through a doorway covered by a curtain, returning quickly followed by small bald man with a measuring tape around his neck.

“This is John, also my name is Claire. We can do two of you boys at a time, so two of you can go ahead and take your places on the platforms.”

Stan gestured forward. “You guys go ahead.”

Richie nodded, pulling Eddie over to the tailoring area where two change rooms faced each other with velvet curtains pushed to the side of each changing stall. Two small raised platforms stood between the rooms in front of a giant mirror.

Richie tossed his backpack into one of the changing stalls, and Eddie unclipped his fanny pack, placing it on the floor in the other stall. They each stepped onto the platforms. Claire found her own measuring tape and stepped up to Richie, and John stepped up to Eddie.

Eddie watched in the mirror as Claire wrapped the measuring tape around Richie’s waist. John was measuring Eddie at the same time, but he paid no mind to him. Seeing Claire so close to Richie, touching him ever so slightly, made Eddie feel a twinge of jealousy. Even though he knew it was ridiculous. He was dating Richie, he had no reason to be jealous over some woman Richie didn’t even know.

She reached her arm around Richie’s hips to grab the measuring tape from her other hand, and Eddie watched her movements carefully.

Eddie watched Claire’s hand disappear behind Richie, and Richie shot up suddenly. Claire was suddenly blushing. “I’m sorry, that was an accident.”

Richie laughed. “It’s okay.”

_Did she touch his butt? Is she trying to flirt with him?_ Eddie watched intently. Little did he know, Richie was watching him, and could see the jealously all over his face.

Claire finished up with Richie’s measurements quickly, and disappeared around the corner. Richie made eye contact with Eddie in the mirror. Eddie looked concerned. Richie mouthed ‘I love you’ and Eddie looked away, trying to hide his smile.

Claire returned holding three suits. She seemed to have recuperated. “We have three different fits. Classic, modern, and slim. You can try all three and see which one fits best, but slim is our most popular.”

She handed the hangers to Richie, and he took them into the change room. He turned around and pulled the curtain over. John appeared behind Eddie, holding three suits for him to try on as well. Eddie took them, thanking him, before settling into his own change room.

Richie stepped out of his stall and up onto the platform. “Definitely not in love with this one.” The suit was awkward and slightly too big in some places, while fitting in others. He looked over when he heard the metal rings on Eddie’s curtain sliding along the pole.

“Holy shit.”

“Is it okay?”

“Someone better call the fire department, cause you are _smokin’,_ goddamn. Bring that ass over here.”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Stan said, as Mike chuckled.

Eddie stepped out and onto the platform. The suit fit perfectly, snug in all the right places.

“Wow, that does look really good, Eddie,” Mike noted, and Richie nodded.

“You’re so hot, I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend.”

“Hush, Richie.”

Claire spoke from behind them, looking at Eddie. “You tried the slim version, yes?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“It’s a popular fit for a reason.”

“I think I tried the classic,” Richie said quietly.

“Yes, you definitely did.”

“I’ll be back.” Richie turned around and returned to his changing room, pulling the curtain closed. Claire took Eddie’s shoe size, returning with a nice pair of shoes that complimented his tux nicely, along with a bow tie that matched the royal blue of Richie’s tux perfectly.

Richie stepped out of the change room confidently. “That’s more like it.” His long limbs were accentuated in the slim fit, with the rest of the jacket hugging his torso nicely.

“Damn,” Eddie said softly, not really realizing he said it out loud.

Richie stepped up on the platform, turning around to get a look at the back. “Does it make my ass look good?” Now that Richie mentioned it, Eddie couldn’t help but look, and silently answered Richie’s question.

Richie could see Eddie’s embarrassment and laughed. “It does, doesn’t it? I can see it on your face.” Richie laughed harder and Eddie turned his face away, covering it with one hand. Eddie cleared his throat. “I think we’ll take these ones.”

Claire nodded and turned to Richie. “What’s your shoe size?”

“Eleven and a half.”

“You boys can change back into your clothes, now.” Claire went into the back room to fetch Richie some shoes and a bow tie. When she returned, Eddie and Richie had finished changing and traded places with Stan and Mike. She handed the shoes to Richie to try on, before stepping up to begin measuring Stan. John was already measuring Mike.

John spoke for the first time with a gruff voice. “You’ll probably find that the modern style will fit best for a man of your stature.”

Mike gave him a quick nod. Mike was much broader than the other three, so naturally a different style would fit him better.

When the two finished up their measurements, they stepped back and walked into the back room. They returned quickly with the different variations. Knowing the routine after watching Richie and Eddie, Stan and Mike took the suits and entered their respective stalls.

Mike took John’s advice and tried on the modern fit, reading the tags attached to the underarm of each suit. After changing into it, he exited the stall and stepped out onto the pedestal. The suit framed his body nicely, curving inwards around his torso, but providing enough room for his defined limbs. Richie began to speak in a crude Boston accent. “You look very nice, Micheal. Very handsome.”

“Thanks, Richie,” Mike said with a soft chuckle. His impressions were terrible, always had been. But the Losers were used to it by now. He struggled with paying genuine compliments because it always felt too serious, so he would often mask them under voices. Unless it was Eddie he was paying the compliment to, because he could give Eddie compliments all day and feel completely normal about it.

Stan slid the curtain to the side, stepping out carefully onto the platform. He looked up into the mirror and saw Mike looking at him, so he turned to meet his eyes. Mike started to smile, and a smile formed on Stan’s face in return.

Stan looked back at the mirror. “I think these are perfect.”

“I agree. Perfect.”

Claire nodded. “What colour bow ties would you like?”

“I was thinking a baby blue?” Stan looked over at Mike for approval.

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

“You four are very easy to please. I’ll grab you some matching shoes and your ties. What are your sizes?” Mike and Stan gave their shoe sizes to Claire, and she spun around and left, while they took their places in their fitting rooms.

Richie and Eddie sat together outside of the change rooms on some chairs with their suits draped over their laps. Richie looked over at Eddie. “Are you excited?”

“For prom?”

Richie nodded.

“I think so, yeah.”

“It’ll be great.”

“Did you know Bev showed me her dress?”

“Really? When?”

“Last week. It’s so beautiful, you’re not going to believe your eyes. I sure didn’t.” Eddie paused. “She made it herself. Can you believe that? And I know now that I said that you’re probably imagining some terrible sideways multicoloured mess, but it’s really beautiful, Rich. She’s incredibly talented.”

Richie nodded. “I know she is. She’s shown me some of the clothing she’s made. It’s impressive.”

“You know she gave Ben a paint chip of the colour so that he’d match? She didn’t want to ruin the surprise,” Eddie laughed.

“That’s pretty good. Rather genius, actually.”

“She sure is something.”

Richie nodded. Stan stepped out of the fitting room, his suit hanging neatly from it’s original hanger. Richie and Eddie stood as Stan joined them.

“That suit looks great,” Eddie smiled. “We’re going to be the best dressed group there, surely.”

“If only they gave out an award for that,” Richie chuckled. “We’d have it in the bag.”

Stan thought for a moment, before speaking. “Hey, who do you think is going to win prom king and queen? I’m rooting for Ben and Bev, obviously, but I suppose I should root for Bill and Alison, as well, right?”

Richie looked jokingly annoyed. “Why does it have to be a king and a queen? It’s homophobic if you ask me.”

Stan shrugged. “Society isn’t ready.”

“I wish they’d hurry up. I’ll be pissed if they tell me ‘no’ when I try to put a ring on this one.”

Eddie’s attention was suddenly caught. “Wait, what? You want to marry me?”

“Eventually. Not right now, obviously.”

“Damn.”

Stan nodded. “And we all thought you couldn’t plan for the future.”

“Why would you think that? I have all kinds of plans.”

Mike stepped out of his stall, his suit hanging over his arm.

“Like what?” Stan asked.

“Well,” Richie paused, thinking. “I know I want to get a dog some day.”

“You’re right, Richie, you really have thought of everything. I could only ever hope to be as prepared as you when it comes to the future.”

Mike only caught the tail end of the conversation, but assumed what he could in context, and giggled at Stan’s remark.

Claire returned with shoes for the other boys, which she handed to them and they tried on. The four boys followed Claire to the sales counter, as John followed behind them, quick to slide behind the counter and start packaging the tuxedos. He covered them with opaque plastic covers and gave the shoes a little bit of extra shine before placing them in their boxes. Claire rang up the prices and Stan gave her his mothers credit card to punch in for the rental.

“Thank you for your business boys,” Claire smiled.

“Thank you for your guys’ help,” Stan said with a nod.

“Have fun at your prom.”

The boys gave an array of ‘thank you’s before exiting the shop.

Realization hit Eddie when he saw Mike’s truck. “How are we going to transport these without getting them dirty?”

“That’s why they have covers, Eds.”

“We’re not putting them in the back are we?”

“No, there’s little hooks in the cab of the truck,” Mike said. “Presumably for dry cleaning”

Eddie breathed a gentle sigh of relief.

Stan took the four suits, hopping up onto the seat of the truck, and then hooking the suits in and resting the bottoms on his lap. Mike got into the drivers seat and Richie boosted Eddie up into the back, Eddie giggling due to Richie shoving him upwards with a hand on each buttcheek.

“Don’t touch my butt!” he laughed, toppling over in the truck bed.

Richie hopped up, stretching his legs over the tailgate and falling to his knees, lunging towards Eddie. “Try and stop me!” he giggled, reaching his hands out and tickling Eddie’s waist. Getting his feet between them, Eddie pushed Richie away with them, Richie landing across the bed.

Eddie crawled up to him, touching his hand to Richie’s chin and kissing him. Richie’s hand touched the small of Eddie’s back, and Eddie’s heart started to beat faster due to the unfamiliar openness around them when displaying affection.

Stan knocked on the back window of the truck, disrupting them. “Get a room you two,” he said, muffled between the closed window, but still audible. Eddie had kind of forgotten where he was, and was suddenly embarrassed that Stan had seen them. He rolled over and sat down beside Richie blushing slightly, Mike reversing and driving out of the parking lot.

“You’re cute,” Richie said, smirking down at Eddie. “I like you a lot.”

“Maybe we should date.”

Richie laughed, shaking his head. He leaned back against the metal of the truck, looking up at the trees passing by. _I wonder if he knows how much I love him. Surely, but does he_ really _know? He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me._

“You know, you’re the best thing thats ever happened to me.”

“Really?”

Richie nodded.

“I love you.”

“I also think you’re the first person to ever love me.”

“Rich, that’s not true.”

“Like actually love me. My parents may have told me they love me, but it never meant anything. It was just something they said because they had to.” Richie paused for a moment. “It does mean something when you say it, right? You’re not just saying it?”

“Of course it means something, Richie. You’re my favourite person in the whole world. I love you more than anything.”

Richie smiled warmly, reassured.

“I’m sure some of your past…” Eddie struggled to find a fitting word. “…partners have loved you.”

Richie shook his head. “I don’t think so. I certainly didn’t feel anything.”

“They may’ve.”

Richie hadn’t really meant it like that, but Eddie’s response made him go quiet. He may have had a couple relationships up until now, but thoughts of Matt crept into his head. He still felt bad about everything that happened between them. Matt was a good guy, and he never deserved that. And Eddie was right, even though Richie didn’t love him, that wasn’t to say that Matt didn’t love Richie. He still hadn’t told Eddie about the real reason they broke up. It made him feel far too guilty and he didn’t want to think about it, let alone talk about it.

He looked back up at the passing trees. Houses were now placed between them every so often. He reached his arm around Eddie, pulling him close. He pushed the upsetting thoughts away and looked down at Eddie’s blissful, distant expression. From his angle, Richie could see Eddie’s thick eyelashes blinking occasionally. He could count the freckles if he wanted to, but it would take far too long, so he simply admired them.

Eddie was lost in thought and didn’t noticed Richie’s eyes fixed on him in the slightest. Richie leaned towards him and kissed the top of his head. Eddie smiled, still zoned out, but aware, and snuggled into Richie.

Mike pulled up to Richie’s house and Eddie sat up, pulling Richie to his feet. They hopped out of the truck and up to the passenger door, where Stan had opened it and read the tags to determine which suit was which. He handed the respective bags to Richie and Eddie.

“Thanks for everything, you guys. Really. It means a lot.”

“Don’t worry about it, Eddie, we’re here for you anytime you need us.”

“And I know it’s probably not ideal, but if you ever need a place to stay, there’s a spare room at my place that never gets used,” Mike added with a gentle smile.

“Thanks, Mike.”

“We’ll see you guys at school,” Richie smiled. “Thanks again, for everything.”

Stan nodded and Richie and Eddie stepped away as Stan closed the door. Mike drove away when he saw them enter the house.

Stan sighed. “I really hope my parents don’t react as extremely as Eddie’s mom did.”

“You’ll always have a home with me and my family, no matter what.”

“I know,” Stan sighed. “And I’m so thankful.” He reached out and touched Mike’s shoulder, before sliding his hand up near his neck and massaging gently. “I just hope it doesn’t come to that.”

 

Richie opened his closet door, hooking his tux on the bar and reaching out to take Eddie’s as well.

“I think that woman was flirting with you.”

“I don’t think she was.”

“She totally was. I could see it in her eyes. And she blushed when she touched your butt.”

“Yeah, because she touched my butt. That’s an embarrassing thing no matter who’s butt it was.”

Eddie was quiet for a moment. “She was pretty.”

“Is that what this is about? Why are you jealous of a complete stranger?”

“What if one day you decide you want to be with a girl instead of a boy?”

“That’s not really how bisexuality works. It’s really all the same, people are just people.”

“But she was so pretty and she was clearly into you.”

Richie took Eddie’s face in his hands. “She wasn’t nearly as pretty as you are. Trust me, okay? I love you so much, you don’t need to be jealous of anyone. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

Eddie smiled weakly. “You know me, worry is my middle name.”

“Eds, can I tell you something?”

Eddie nodded. Richie took his hand and lead him over to his bed, sitting down.

“It’s kind of embarrassing.” He hesitated. “Okay, it’s really embarrassing.”

“Just tell me, it’s okay. I’m not going to judge you, no matter how embarrassing.”

“I never told you the real reason why I broke up with Matt.”

A cold sweat fell onto Eddie. He didn’t like where it sounded like this was going.

“It’s nothing bad, well, it was terrible for him. And I feel really bad about it.”

“Come on, Richie, get on with it.”

“Right, uh, well… me and him were in the shower together… getting… naughty, and when I… when I…”

“Richie, when you what?! Spit it out!”

“When I came, I said your name.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“You were fucking him and you said my name?”

“We weren’t fucking, we were jerking each other off.”

“Same difference, you said my fucking name right in front of him?”

“Yup. Right as I fucking climaxed.”

“Holy shit, Richie.”

“I was going to break up with him that night, but he wanted to shower with me and I just wasn’t attracted to him. So I was thinking about you. And it just slipped out.”

“Holy shit.”

“You’re not mad, are you?”

“Mad? No, not mad. Just shocked.”

“I felt so bad, he was so upset.”

“Yeah no doubt, that’s some heartbreaking shit.”

“I didn’t even know what to say. He walked out, obviously, called me an asshole and everything. Which I can’t even dispute, because yeah, dick move for sure. But it’s not like I did it on purpose. I was planning on breaking it off that night anyways because I couldn’t get your stupid cute little face outta my head.” Richie pinched Eddie’s cheek and Eddie shoved his hand away playfully.

“I can’t believe how jealous I was of him and you weren’t even attracted to him. You were thinking of me while doing it with him! That’s fuckin’ bananas.”

“You were jealous of him? Really?”

“Didn’t I tell you that? Seeing you come out of the bedroom with him at your birthday party made me livid.”

“Wow.”

“Turns out I had nothing to be jealous of,” Eddie laughed.

“Am I gonna live this down?”

Eddie looked around, making a show out of considering it. “Hmm… you thinking about me while having sex with someone else? I’m gonna go ahead and say no, probably not.”

Richie shrugged. “At least don’t tell anyone.”

“I would never.”

“You wanna know something else, then?” Richie paused and Eddie nodded. “Before we started dating, if I thought about you while masturbating, I would finish so quick.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped, but he was smiling. He leaned forward and kissed Richie with an open mouth, and Richie found Eddie’s tongue in his mouth and happily reciprocated. Richie was thrilled that after so recently accepting his own sexuality, Eddie had also accepted the filthy shit that turned him on.

Richie pulled away. “Do you remember the first time we got high and we played Sonic in the basement?”

Eddie nodded.

“You were so relaxed, probably for the first time in your life, and you laid your head in my lap.”

Eddie nodded again, remembering.

“You said something like, ‘oh it feels so good’ and I immediately got so fuckin’ hard. And your fuckin’ head was in my lap!”

“Did I really say that?”

“Yes, you did, believe me.”

“Did you get up and jack off?”

“Of course I did.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“Where was I?”

Richie laughed. “Sitting on the couch with your head in the clouds.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, laughing with Richie. “That is ridiculous. I didn’t say anything about it?”

“I think you said you thought I fell in.”

Eddie laughed harder. “What did you say?”

“I don’t know, something to change the subject for sure, though.”

“That is hilarious.”

“Glad you think so, because I was freaking the fuck out. I was still dating Matt at that point and I felt so guilty about everything. I knew it was wrong but I didn’t know how to break up with him and I didn’t know if you liked me like that,”

“How did you know?”

“Hmm?”

“How did you know that I liked you.”

“I just thought, really, what’s the worst that could happen if I tell you how I feel.”

“What about ruining our friendship and ruining our entire group of friends? Because that weighed pretty heavily on my mind.”

“Well, since I’m telling you the truth about everything else,”

“Bev told you, didn’t she?”

“Only after I told her how I felt.”

“I knew it.”

“Don’t be mad at her, she only told me because she knew you wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with you and she knew neither of us would say anything because of that exact fear of ruining everything.”

“I’m not mad in the slightest.”

“Oh, good. She made me promise not to tell you.”

“It’s okay, I had a feeling anyways. Besides, how could I be mad? She made the one thing I wanted to happen happen. I’m thankful.”

“I guess she thought since she betrayed your trust.”

Eddie shrugged. “But it was for the greater good. That was a judgement call I would have personally asked her to make if I knew about it.”

Richie nodded.

“She’s a great friend, and I’m so happy that she made the decision that she did.”

“Me too.” Richie leaned forward and kissed Eddie, softly at first but deepening the longer they kissed. Eddie started to grip onto him and tug at his clothes, so Richie knew he was getting into it.

Richie stopped and pulled back and Eddie leaned forward with him, not wanting to stop. Richie held his shoulders and Eddie got the message and leaning back, but with a frown.

“I need to ask you something.”

“Does it have to be right now?”

Richie nodded.

“Do you think prom night would be a good… first time?”

“Like, for sex, you mean?”

Richie nodded.

“Sure.”

Richie smiled. “Cool.” He pulled Eddie back into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys have enjoyed thus far, i'm thinking that next chapter will probably be the last, but it should be a good one. if you have any suggestions or things you'd like to see, let me know :-) thank you and good night


End file.
